Encouragement to Mamas With Different Nipples

[LiLi2]

I wanted to make this post because a little over a year ago, I was very pregnant and worrying about being able to breastfeed with flat, slightly "inverted" nipples. I wanted to breastfeed so badly and I didn't think it was possible. When my son was born, he didn't latch and my worst fear was true. I worked with a lactation consultant and it just didn't seem possible. I almost gave up so many times. I was pumping and bottle feeding and using a nipple shield to nurse sometimes. I did this for 8 weeks when my son finally latched! It was a miracle. He never took another bottle or nipple shield again. He has been breastfed since, and is still going strong. It was HARD. It was painful. I cried... a lot. But ladies, nipples come in all shapes and sizes, but the really awesome thing is... they all serve the same purpose. Feeding babies!

For any mamas out there worried about this same issue - push through! You CAN do it!! I am now considering becoming an IBCLC because my breastfeeding journey impacted me so much. I've been helping other moms in my community ever since, offering encouragement and advice. If I knew then what I know now, I'm sure it would have been easier. I'm amazed every time I nurse my son and I can't help but smile.

I just want to be here for encouragement if any of you mamas are going through something similar.

 

[babyplease01]

This is exactly what I needed!! My daughter was born two days ago and I'm having such trouble getting her to breastfeed. I've been pumping and syringe feeding her some because I've been so worried that she's hungry and just doesn't know how to eat!!! I'm working with her and doing everything I can think of to help her, but it's hard not to get discouraged and wonder if she'll ever be able to latch on and keep feeding or if I'll just have to pump. She latches okay and will suck once or twice, then she just stops. Falls asleep at the breast a lot just holding in in her mouth. She's a little baby, 6lb 14oz was her birth weight, and I have flat nipples too so we're just struggling. So thank you for sharing this!!!!

 

[LiLi2]

Congratulations!! You CAN do this, mama! Just keep feeding that baby any way you need to and put her to the breast as often as she will take it. I expressed and spoon fed for a few days to keep my son from preferring a bottle nipple. Eventually when their stomachs grow, spoon feeding no longer works. But if she's still having trouble in a few days, look into an SNS (supplemental nursing system). Do you have a local lactation consultant who can come help you out? They were a life changer for me.

You are doing GREAT! As she gets bigger and stronger, her latch will get stronger as well

(Also, I just noticed you are from South GA. I'm in North FL! Whereabouts in GA are you, if you don't mind me asking? I'm Tallahassee FL)

 

[babyplease01]

Congratulations!! You CAN do this, mama! Just keep feeding that baby any way you need to and put her to the breast as often as she will take it. I expressed and spoon fed for a few days to keep my son from preferring a bottle nipple. Eventually when their stomachs grow, spoon feeding no longer works. But if she's still having trouble in a few days, look into an SNS (supplemental nursing system). Do you have a local lactation consultant who can come help you out? They were a life changer for me.

You are doing GREAT! As she gets bigger and stronger, her latch will get stronger as well

(Also, I just noticed you are from South GA. I'm in North FL! Whereabouts in GA are you, if you don't mind me asking? I'm Tallahassee FL)

Thank you!! I do have a consultant I can talk to, she's wonderful. I worked with her in the hospital and I'm gonna go back by and see her Monday when I take baby girl to the Dr.

That's cool!! We're not too far from you. I had her in moultrie ga. Close to thomasville, if you recognize that area.

 

[LiLi2]

That's great. How is she doing today? I hope the lactation consultant is able to help you. My experience learning to breastfeed had such an impact on my life that I am considering becoming a Lactation consultant myself. I've been kind of "shadowing" a few here in town for the past year. Such a rewarding thing to be able to help women achieve such a meaningful goal.

Oh yeah, Thomasville is about 20 minutes from me. Moultrie is 45 or so.

 

[babyplease01]

That's great. How is she doing today? I hope the lactation consultant is able to help you. My experience learning to breastfeed had such an impact on my life that I am considering becoming a Lactation consultant myself. I've been kind of "shadowing" a few here in town for the past year. Such a rewarding thing to be able to help women achieve such a meaningful goal.

Oh yeah, Thomasville is about 20 minutes from me. Moultrie is 45 or so.

She is doing great. I actually was able to get her to nurse once last night!!!! It was probably a small feeding compared to what she gets from the bottle, but she did so good!!!! But o guess my milk is coming in, because overnight my boobs got HUGE!! Suddenly I feel like one of my boobs weighs as much as she does, and now my nipples are stretched even tighter and the poor baby can't grab hold of anything. :/ I'm trying to pump as much as I can to keep them loose so I can keep trying but it's so busy I can barely keep up as it is, taking care of her and myself with the stitches and all. So there's not much extra pumping time, I'm lucky if I feed when it's time.

That's so awesome that you found a calling in a really frustrating and stressful journey!! I wish you all the best!!!

 

[LiLi2]

I'm glad she did well last night! For engorgement, instead of pumping, I'd recommend reverse pressure softening. It can be used for engorgement or edema due to IV fluids to aid latching. "Displacing milk slightly backward into deeper ducts relieves over-distention of subareolar ducts, reducing latch discomfort and facilitating milk transfer." - Kellymom

https://kellymom.com/bf/concerns/mother/rev_pressure_soft_cotterman/

The reason I caution against pumping in the early days if it is not necessary is because you will be telling your body that it needs to make more milk than your baby needs (oversupply). The first few weeks postpartum is when your body decides whether you had just one baby, twins, or etc. If you're pumping and nursing in the first few weeks, you're essentially telling your body that you had more than one baby, or that your baby needs a whole lot of milk. This is a problem because it can lead to plugged ducts, mastitis (NOT fun, had it 3 times) and even more trouble getting baby nursing well. Oversupply can make it hard for baby to nurse because there is so much milk, she may gag or choke, or you may always be engorged making it hard for her to latch. I understand that pumping is necessary sometimes, especially if you're bottle feeding for some feedings, but only pump what baby will eat right now. If you need to create a freezer stash of milk, try to wait a few weeks before pumping more than baby will eat.

Sorry, that was a long post. I was misguided in the beginning and told to pump very often. I ended up with oversupply and overactive letdown and my son resisted the breast because the flow was too much for his little self to handle.

 

[Hit Girl]

You're very lucky. I worked with countless LCs for 4 months. Finally was able to score an appointment with the head LC educator in my state (who wasn't taking on any more clients). She said I would able to BF my son... close to a thousand dollars later, nothing. She was getting frustrated and said that the only explanation is that my son MUST have a tongue tie. He didn't - we took him to a very reputable paediatric surgeon who found absolutely no sign of a tongue tie whatsoever. As it turned out, it was my nipples. I have very strong adhesions that make it impossible for the little one to draw the breast back into their mouth enough. Even with over 5 months of around the clock pumping with a Medela Symphony they didn't break/stretch or do whatever they were supposed to do.
I went to a specialist dr who examined them thoroughly. Because of they way mine are, I actually caused quite a bit of damage to my nipples and they still don't look the same, even 2 and a half years later. She was actually shocked at how damaged they were and I could tell she took instant pity on me

I should add that I had oversupply which they identified while I was still in hospital. I was producing around 3 litres a day. If I didn't express, my breasts got severely engorged and I got mastitis more times than I care to remember.
I guess I'm the very rare exception to the rule. I have all the milk in the world, but my delivery mechanism doesn't work the way it should. I got PND from all of this which I'm still not 100% over. I just wish that ONE LC had recognised that I was indeed one of those people who was actually unable to feed my baby from the breast instead of constantly making me feel like I wasn't trying hard enough or I 'didn't want this enough'. In addition to this, every single one of them openly criticised using formula during our sessions calling it things like 'awful stuff' and 'disgusting' and under no circumstances should I go near it.

All I needed was for someone to tell me that there are alternatives - just to make sure my baby had a full tummy. That newborn stage is so precious and so fleeting and I missed it because I was so consumed with my breasts and feeling like the biggest failure and the worst mother in the world. That shouldn't have happened.

I hope that when you do become a certified LC, you'll be different to the ones I encountered. I'm sure you will be.

 

[LiLi2]

I'm so sorry, Hit Girl. What a frustrating situation. I applaud you for trying your best, but I do agree, there comes a point that alternatives become a better option than exhausting yourself physically and mentally. My lactation consultants were phenomenal and encouraged me to do what felt right, even if that meant giving up and offering formula. One thing they told me that will always stick with me is "we are not here to tell you what to do. We are only here to support your decisions, and if your decision is to breastfeed, we will be here every step of the way. If you decide to give formula, we know that you tried your best and just reached your breaking point. And that's ok!"

That alone made me feel 100 times better about the situation and I told myself to remember that, so if I become a lactation consultant, I never push a mom to make a decision that she mentally or physically cannot sustain.

Sending you so many hugs. I struggled with a bit of PPD as well (though I wouldn't admit that to myself at the time) due to breastfeeding struggles. I feel like the first 2 months of my son's life is a blur and I hardly remember anything. Sorry again, mama.

 

[babyplease01]

I'm glad she did well last night! For engorgement, instead of pumping, I'd recommend reverse pressure softening. It can be used for engorgement or edema due to IV fluids to aid latching. "Displacing milk slightly backward into deeper ducts relieves over-distention of subareolar ducts, reducing latch discomfort and facilitating milk transfer." - Kellymom

https://kellymom.com/bf/concerns/mother/rev_pressure_soft_cotterman/

The reason I caution against pumping in the early days if it is not necessary is because you will be telling your body that it needs to make more milk than your baby needs (oversupply). The first few weeks postpartum is when your body decides whether you had just one baby, twins, or etc. If you're pumping and nursing in the first few weeks, you're essentially telling your body that you had more than one baby, or that your baby needs a whole lot of milk. This is a problem because it can lead to plugged ducts, mastitis (NOT fun, had it 3 times) and even more trouble getting baby nursing well. Oversupply can make it hard for baby to nurse because there is so much milk, she may gag or choke, or you may always be engorged making it hard for her to latch. I understand that pumping is necessary sometimes, especially if you're bottle feeding for some feedings, but only pump what baby will eat right now. If you need to create a freezer stash of milk, try to wait a few weeks before pumping more than baby will eat.

Sorry, that was a long post. I was misguided in the beginning and told to pump very often. I ended up with oversupply and overactive letdown and my son resisted the breast because the flow was too much for his little self to handle.

Thank you!! That does make sense. I've actually been confused as to how much she needs vs how much I'm making because in the hospital 1 day PP, the LC told me she should get about 5-6cc per feeding. Now, 4 days PP, I'm pumping 2 oz every feeding. I've been giving her about an oz and putting the rest in the fridge, but I still feel like an oz is a big jump from 5-6cc in just a couple of days. She takes it though, and still gives hunger cues, and she doesn't spit up hardly at all unless I'm not able to get a good burp. I don't know what to do. I'm gonna go back today and talk to the LC again.

 

[LiLi2]

Here is a good infographic on infant stomach size:

https://babiesfirstlactation.wordpress.com/2013/08/09/the-newborns-stomach/

They grow rather quickly. An ounce sounds right for her age

Have you done a weighed feeding? Ask your lactation consultant if there is a place with a newborn scale designed for weighed feedings. You may be able to do it at your pediatrician's office. Weigh the baby before you nurse her, then again after. Don't change her diaper, remove any clothes, etc. Make sure nothing changes except her drinking milk, and make sure you do it on a scale that measures grams. 1 gram = 1cc. 30 grams = an ounce. It may put your mind at ease if she's getting more than you think at the breast. (Only nurse, don't give a bottle for a weighed feeding.)

Call your pediatrician's office if your lactation consultant doesn't have access to a scale. Usually they are supportive of breastfeeding moms and will allow you to come in to weight your baby. If she is taking an ounce or more at the breast, I wouldn't even worry about giving a bottle!

 

[Hit Girl]

I wish you could be my LC with #2. I wouldn't let any other LC near me!

 

[LiLi2]

You know where to find me if you have any questions I've learned so much "shadowing" these consultants this past year, and I'd be honored to pass along any help that could make another mom's struggle a little easier.

Congrats on your little boy, by the way. How exciting!! I hope your pregnancy is going well

 

[babyplease01]

Here is a good infographic on infant stomach size:

https://babiesfirstlactation.wordpress.com/2013/08/09/the-newborns-stomach/

They grow rather quickly. An ounce sounds right for her age

Have you done a weighed feeding? Ask your lactation consultant if there is a place with a newborn scale designed for weighed feedings. You may be able to do it at your pediatrician's office. Weigh the baby before you nurse her, then again after. Don't change her diaper, remove any clothes, etc. Make sure nothing changes except her drinking milk, and make sure you do it on a scale that measures grams. 1 gram = 1cc. 30 grams = an ounce. It may put your mind at ease if she's getting more than you think at the breast. (Only nurse, don't give a bottle for a weighed feeding.)

Call your pediatrician's office if your lactation consultant doesn't have access to a scale. Usually they are supportive of breastfeeding moms and will allow you to come in to weight your baby. If she is taking an ounce or more at the breast, I wouldn't even worry about giving a bottle!

Someone at the hospital did mention that. But I've got to get her to nurse first. Yesterday evening we nursed two feedings!!
But now I'm just frustrated. I think what helped yesterday was those cup things medela makes that help pull out your nipple. But I couldn't wear them overnight because they make me leak BAD. I leak an ounce into the cups!! And I have to keep them washed to save the milk. And so she would NOT nurse overnight. She pushed my breast away and screamed like I was killing her. And DH woke up just long enough to tell me I was making it harder for her by being frustrated (because he knows everything), and my stupid pump is always dirty, and now those stupid cups, and I am just so annoyed. And so tired. I had such hope yesterday...I thought we had made it. And now it's like none of that ever happened.

Sorry, just needed to vent.

 

[LiLi2]

Two steps forward, one step back! You're doing great! If you have to, try a nipple shield. If you do, still try to nurse without it as often as she will take the breast and only use it when engorged and she's struggling to latch. If you decide to try one, let me know if you have any questions and definitely do a weighed feeding, as some babies have trouble transferring milk with them.

 

[babyplease01]

Two steps forward, one step back! You're doing great! If you have to, try a nipple shield. If you do, still try to nurse without it as often as she will take the breast and only use it when engorged and she's struggling to latch. If you decide to try one, let me know if you have any questions and definitely do a weighed feeding, as some babies have trouble transferring milk with them.

Actually I did try one. Yesterday morning. I ordered one and had hubby go pick it up. I was so excited, I thought surely it would help. It didn't work at all. It was worse than my own nipple is.
I had a really hard day yesterday. Cried a lot and I feel like I didn't enjoy my baby. So today I'm taking a break. Emotionally I just can't be disappointed like that every two hours for another day. I don't want to start to get frustrated with her, and I'm afraid I will if I constantly try every feeding like that. She'll get bigger soon enough, and maybe it will be easier but I can't waste any more of these days the way I did yesterday, being upset and crying.
Idk. Maybe I'm just discouraged. But I do want to go see the lactation nurse sometime this week, and I have an appointment with one of the midwives at my Dr office who works with BFing moms so maybe we'll learn something.

 

[LiLi2]

Hey hun, sorry I'm late with this response. I was out of town and didn't have my laptop.

You are doing the right thing, taking a break. Your mental health and enjoying your baby are your #1 priority right now. Do whatever it takes to preserve that. Did you talk to the lactation consultant again? How are things going?

 

[Lirpa11]

Hi, I have one "normal" nipple, and one nipple that has two nipples right together. its like a nipple on top on another nipple. I'd never thought much about it,until at my 12 week checkup the dr looked and asked if that happened since becoming pregnant... I said no,it's always been like that and he said ok.

But now I'm just wondering if I will be able to breastfeed from that breast? Any advice? :-S

 

[babyplease01]

Hey hun, sorry I'm late with this response. I was out of town and didn't have my laptop.

You are doing the right thing, taking a break. Your mental health and enjoying your baby are your #1 priority right now. Do whatever it takes to preserve that. Did you talk to the lactation consultant again? How are things going?

Hey!! Actually, I did, and things are going pretty well!! Thursday was a week since we had a bottle.
We still have a little ways to go before I would call it easy, but she really has turned around.