everythings gone messed up :(

Discussion in 'Pregnancy - Third Trimester' started by 17mummytobee, Nov 14, 2011.

  1. 17mummytobee

    17mummytobee pregnant-2nd trimester.

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    Everythings messed up. I text my OH about going hospital bag shopping and was he ready for a bill that's gunna kill him. Just being sorta jokey. He text me back saying he only has 100 this month to spend but he got paid 1700. This has prompted a serious conversation and turns our he won't be able to pay his bills the rent and our bills and is not able to support me and LO and now we can no longer live together as planned. I thought everything was sorted even though it would of been tight, things where sorted and it offered some reassurance and comfort.
    Now I'm back to square one and have to do this alone and I don't know what to do :(
    Guess I have to change my housing application and claim benefits. I've got ten weeks to get this all sorted and I've already been in pre term labour twice. Gawd.
     
  2. ashlee23

    ashlee23 Well-Known Member

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    im confused hun, u talk bout his wages, what about ur income? is it not possible if u contribute? ur best getting advice from citizens advice to see if theyd be able to help u sort things so u can both support LO and find somewhere to live together. they can also let u know anything ur entitled to (if u live in uk) xxx
     
  3. 17mummytobee

    17mummytobee pregnant-2nd trimester.

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    I'm 30 weeks pregnant and still in full time education. I'm entitled to income support aslong as I'm not living with him. They only benefits were entitled to our child benefit and child tax credits.
    I just wish hed been honest with me about what he really earns and what was and wasn't achievable.
     
  4. Miss Duke

    Miss Duke Mum of 2 gorgeous kids!!!

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    I think you are only entitled to the income support if he is not supporting you? Be careful that your finances are separate hon anyway, or it can cause probs xxx
     
  5. 17mummytobee

    17mummytobee pregnant-2nd trimester.

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    Yup as soon as he supports me the income support goes. He rekons 400 pounds is going to be enough for council tax ( don't know what band) food shopping including nappies water eletricity and maybe gas? Is he deluded or is this do-able? Xxx
     
  6. luckybreak

    luckybreak Well-Known Member

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    I dont understand so he did not get paid $1700, he gets paid a lot less? he never figured you would noticed ?
     
  7. 17mummytobee

    17mummytobee pregnant-2nd trimester.

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    He got paid the 1700 only due to working nights and some long days. What he failed to tell me is that he has gotten himself into massive debt. And that instead of the actualy 1500 he normally says he gets he actually gets 1300. He said he didn't want to tell me as living on 1500 would of been extremly tight but maybe managable but living on 1300 just isn't an option.
    The outgoings would be:
    500 on rent
    600 on his car
    98 on his insurance
    Phone bills- his 22 mine ten.
    Then council tax
    Food
    Water
    Electricity
    And this would be monthly. I have no idea about monthly utilities cost :/ but I guess there expensive?
     
  8. luckybreak

    luckybreak Well-Known Member

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    can't he get rid of his car? take the bus until something gets better or commune with somebody else? at least it will keep the family together with an extra 600 bucks and no gas.
     
  9. Miss Duke

    Miss Duke Mum of 2 gorgeous kids!!!

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    I agree, the car needs to go! He could get a wee banger for 600 that would do the job, 600 a month is crazy!!!
     
  10. 17mummytobee

    17mummytobee pregnant-2nd trimester.

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    We've all told him to but he won't do it. He says because its on finance he its to hard but I think its more a male pride thing. I just wish he would grow up.
     
  11. Miss Duke

    Miss Duke Mum of 2 gorgeous kids!!!

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    And I take it he has debt payments on top of this to pay? Sounds like he cannot support himself, nevermind you and wee baby!
     
  12. 17mummytobee

    17mummytobee pregnant-2nd trimester.

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    He's let his overdraft get massively out of control. He always has to let me down when I need him.
     
  13. ashlee23

    ashlee23 Well-Known Member

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    600 a month on a car??? jesus! def think thatd b the first thing thatd go! our bills r approx £300 for council tax, gas and electricity (and were not overly careful about saving on gas/electricity).
    if u end up living urself ur still entitled to pretty much all benefits as a student hun if ur college doesnt have any help available. im a full time student but am entitled to full MA because of my part time job, but even if i wasnt i do get help through uni and from what citizens advice told me if i was to need to live alone (which i wont be) id be entitled to the full benefits anyone else would be. xxx
     
  14. Miss Duke

    Miss Duke Mum of 2 gorgeous kids!!!

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    The car thing can be sorted, if he rings and asks! Depends how long he has had it, but they will prob take it off hom, or he can sell it and give the finance people the money!

    To be fair, loads of people have debts now. If he is genuinely trying to sort himself out, then thats one thing, but only you know how committed he is to you and baby..... if he really wants to support you, he will get rid of the car and try and get moore of those night shifts!

    If he doesn't hon, you need to look after yourself and little one, go and find out what you will be entitled to. Are you able to continue your education - have you childcare? Try and do it now hon, its so much harder to study when you are older! You are clearly trying to provide your child with a great future, don't let him ruin it for you hon - if he is not committed - obv I don't know him! xx
     
  15. Miss Duke

    Miss Duke Mum of 2 gorgeous kids!!!

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    Sorry for all the typos....... its very late! x
     
  16. ashlee23

    ashlee23 Well-Known Member

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    and as for him not being willing to get rid of his car tell him things ll get alot more expensive if he also has to pay maintainance. its not hard to get rid of a car on finance, u sell it, use the money to repay the finance and whatevers left over is his. as for the overdraft banks now are obliged to help people out of debt if they go in and try and come up with sensible ways out of debt. they will most likely be able to give it him interest free for a set period of time if he agrees to pay off and reduce his overdraft by a certain amount a month. get him to set up a meeting with his bank and sort it. its time he grew up!!! xxx
     
  17. sparkle83

    sparkle83 XLTTC: 10 yrs & counting!

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    what the hell kinda car is it for 600 before insurance?!

    My council tax is 121, gas is about 25, electric about 40, water about 20. We have a three bed house.
     
  18. Cashewnut

    Cashewnut Mum to Abigail

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    It's possible to live off of a lot less than that, trust me. I earn 900-1000 max a month before maternity leave, my partner gets 120 jsa every fortnight, and we make it. He seriously needs to sort his finances out.
     

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