Ex making things hard

[FlumpsMamma]

hey it's been ages since I came on here and I'm really sorry that I've just come on to moan but I had no idea what else to do.
Me and my daughters father broke up almost a year ago, things were fine until five months ago I started seeing someone else. My ex would call all the time, or on the days that he was supposed to have our daughter he would either cancel or when she was there call me and tell me she was ill, because he would know I was going out with the new boyfriend or that I was going out with friends.
This didn't bother me to much because to be honest I love having my daughter all the time.It was when he kept telling me I wasn't allowed to introduce our daughter to my new partner until he had met him. I understand that, he wants to make sure that my new boyfriend wasn't horrible, but it's been five months now, which to me is a respectable amount of time to wait to introduce my daughter but my ex is still saying that he isn't "ready" to meet my partner and it is honestly driving me up the wall.
I'm thinking of introducing my daughter anyway, just not caring what my ex says anymore because how am I meant to have a proper adult relationship or a social life which my ex has stopped me from having by kicking up a fuss if I ever take my daughter to someones house who he doesn't know... Do you think I should just stop caring what my ex says because to be honest he's hindering my life and we have been apart for almost a year

 

[Louisandemma]

Firstly, I'd ask him 'When' he thinks is a suitable amount of time. Perhap arrange for them to meet?

If he's still not agreeable with you trying to include him, tell him he's being unreasonable and you will over-ride him. x

 

[FlumpsMamma]

ive asked his and all i get back is "when i feel like it, i dont want to meet new people at the minute" ive been asking for about two months now hes doing it on purpose to make things as hard as possible, he doesnt pay for his daughter, he doesnt have her unless he has to, he didnt get her anything for christmas or her 2nd birthday. He asks to lend money off me too... I know this is going off topic but he's really starting to get to me with his selfishness

 

[Louisandemma]

Yeah then (As a dad...) I'd tell him youre going to over-ride him because hes being immature. x

 

[FlumpsMamma]

thanks ive just been thinking maybe i was wrong in just over riding what he says because he is my daughters father but without being too crude hes been such a knobhead since we broke up lol x

 

[Louisandemma]

At the end of the day if he's being unreasonable, you have to exercise your right. Im sure he'd d the same thing. For example, if my daughter were 3/4, staying at mine etc.. And my ex still wouldnt let my girlfriend meet her, I'd do it anyway because its unreasonable after that long. x

 

[ravenmel]

My ex said that to me once "if you met someone I want to meet them" I told him where to go, basically guys do this to knob blocking, it has nothing to do with your baby, he just doesn't want you to meet anyone or have a life. I personally won't introduce my kids to anyone before the 6 month mark. Before 6 months you're still in the honey moon phrase of dating, his still telling you everything you want to hear and being all sweet etc it's all hearts and flowers. When you know this guy is gonna be around for the long hall then he can meet the kids. As for the ex stop telling him your business, as I guarantee you his not telling you his.

 

[Mummy1995]

Tell him to fuck off, he's trying to control you. You are your LOs primary caregiver, therefore YOU decide what is best. Im sure you're not an idiot, you dont need your ex to check over your OH to see if he's a weirdo. You've offered to let him meet him (I wouldnt do that), he's not accepted so that is his problem!