ex trying to take me to court....

[rose.wombwell]

just becuase ive saud ive had enough of him constantly messing me about, ive said until he sorts it out he can visit.
now i find this out... what are my rights????? and does anyone know how to chnage your name on here???xxx

 

[Amy]

Fathershave lots of rights these days, my dd father took me and the courts are on the mans side quite alot or at least they were in my case. they want the child to see both parents unless its not safe for the child. GL!!!!!!!!

 

[Laura2919]

He can take you to court for visitation rights but it would benefit you too if you want him to see his LO. You will explain your side.

Half of the time they say they are going to go to court and then they hear of the court fees and change their mind.

 

[rose.wombwell]

i think it just sounds very daunting, the thing is its his mum thats doing it all and trying to make him do it (she infromed me her friend is a solicitor who would defend him for free) highly annoying.

ive heard alot of people say about the courts favouring fathers alot more at the moment...
i agree a child should see both parents but i dont agree they should see there child out of convienince and becaus they feel they 'should'

stressful times ahead!

 

[Laura2919]

Are you a bad mum? Do you not look after your LO? Are you a danger to him? I am guessing the answer to all these is NO and if it is he dont stand a chance in hell of getting full custody! Courts most certainly always side with the mother unless the father can prove she is unfit to raise his LO.

I wouldnt worry, the most he will get is visitation.

 

[teal]

That's frustrating that he doesn't even have to pay any legal costs. So he gets to swan in without any effort/work.

I agree with L that the most he'll get is visitation. I know easier said than done but try not to stress too much xx

 

[xSophieBx]

You might find its all gob..specially about a solicitor friend doing it for free.. what aload of bullcrap!

Do not worry about anything right now.. Its a long drawn out process... and u haven't even received a letter yet! Have u got yourself a family solicitor? If your on benefits/low income you can legal aid and advice for free.

 

[Laura2919]

Yeah if you havent go and get one. Show him you mean business.

 

[rose.wombwell]

i went to the citizens advie buro and they said theres nothing they can do to help until i recieve a letter saying its actually going ahead!

ive heard nothing from him at all in the last month now, deadly silence!

either hes sneakily plotting something or he just doesnt give a shit..i just wanna be prepared and know my rights if it gets sprung upon me!
i know he'd have rights to have him on his birthday and christmas.. which i would NOT be happy about.
xxx

 

[Laura2919]

No. He would have rights to see him on his birthday and Christmas, not have the right to have him

 

[xSophieBx]

Actually I was told by my solicitor FOB has NO rights... It's the childs rights.. I can't see how they can rule he has to have/see them on birthdays or xmas, where have u heard that?

You can still get advice from a family solicitor in the mean time hun... But yeh wait til u actually get a letter b4 u do anything about it! What rights do u actually want to know? I'm going through the solicitor process atm so will try and help u xx

 

[rose.wombwell]

thanks,
ive been looking on gingerbread and there seems to be quite a bit of infomation, and ive been told by several people (cab and gingerbread) to be careful because the courts dont always work the ways you think, they look purely at what they think is the best interest is for the child and i may end up in a sticky situation...

as for now i havnt heard a peep still... i have no idea what is going on tbh
i just want to know if he did take me to court would he have the right to : have sonny stay with him and his new gf in a shared house, still have him over night even without my consent, be aload to be constrantly late, ive just heard from quite a few people that they favour dads alot more nower days, and his mums been freaking me out waffling about having a solicitor friend...

tbh i want him out of my sons life completely, i dont mind his grandparaents still seeing him tho, but i know unless sonny's saftey is at risk its unlikley that'll happen...


xxx

 

[rose.wombwell]

im obvs looking for my sons best interests, but a judge will just be hearing my word over his. and there is no actual evidence of what a manipulative ******* he is... plus his family will back him even tho they know hes a useless artical...

 

[Laura2919]

But he still has to prove that your a bad parent which your not so he dont stand a chance. I wouldnt be worried.

 

[xSophieBx]

I hear loads of mixed stories about court. It can easily be dragged out for ages by the stories I've heard! By the sounds of it ur going through what I am. I want the dick out of mine & DD's life(his not even currently in her life, we've been tryna sort a contact centre since april & still not at one so that just proves what a long process it is). Haven't heard of this gingerbread thing.. Will go take a look later.

It is true that all a judge cares about is the dad needs to see the child regardless of any worries/threats...which I think is a crap justice system!!! but like I've said u can drag the process out with contact centres etc if u have genuine fears like I do.

His living in a shared house? Theres NO way he would get overnight access.. as I have heard stories off dads that have been refused overnights as they only live in a 1 bed house. He won't be able to provide for him properly so I really can't see a judge ruling that. + he'd be a long way off overnights anyway judging by your childs age, & I'm guessing by your 1st post the lack of consistency in visits as well! If you do end up going to court and a court order is ruled, he won't be able to be late or mess you around... he will have to stick to the order and if he breaks it then he'll be in big trouble, so sounds like you could do with it going to court and getting a court order.
I've also heard about the judge favouring fathers.. BUT u need to make sure u play it right.. you are not refusing access, u simply want to protect your child and u have concerns etc etc...

I still think its aload of rubbish about this 'solicitors friend'.. funny how thats never come up before to u!?

xx

 

[rose.wombwell]

thankyou

feel alot less stressed finding more thing out, i still havnt heard a peep so im starting to just think it was a empty threat! i dont actually thinks he cares enough to actually go through the 'hassle' of court,
BUT if it does i want to have all the infomation i can under my belt, i genuinly think its more distructive then anything having him in my sons life, children need consistancy. shame a judge doent look at the bigger picture, i really dont think having the dad around is really as nessercery and important as i used to think!
xxx

 

[Laura2919]

Lets hope it was an empty threat.... FOB said he was going to take me to court so I said go ahead, I get legal aid and you have to pay whopping great big bills. Soon shut that hole in his face up Filling it with cement would have been nicer for me though!

 

[xSophieBx]

Lets hope it was empty threats! I feel exactly the same as you... My daughter will be much better off without that messed up boy(his def not a man) in her life.. and his messed up family... Its a joke.

Is he even paying for your son? xx

 

[rose.wombwell]

he gives me 10 pounds a week, which is never on time. im gunna call csa i think, fed up of doing him favours when he clearly doesnt regard my feelings at all.
i still havnt heard anything he has soon LO for a month now, i dont know wether to make contact with his family and ask if there planning on trying to see him?! do i make plans or leave it just incase... argh.
this is so infuriating i hate not knwoing whats going on, but i dont see why i should have to chase him and his family... but if i dont i have no idea whats goin on!? FFS!!!! xx