Exceedingly Disappointing

[clauds123]

I have been through a journey of so much intense pain trying for years to conceive a child. The pain has been so encapsulatingly painful and heart wrentching. I found a light at the end of the tunnel three months ago when I decided to go the route of donor egg IVF. Although it has been an incredibly painful journey that my hubby and I have had to walk, with him having testicular cancer and my problems of Polycystic ovaries and endomtriosis I have always remained extremely positive. Unfortunately our first donor ivf did not succeed. The past six weeks have been incredibly difficult and terribly painful. This week I managed to pick myself up and put the pieces together and decided to take some proactive steps towards preparing for my next attempt.

The excitement and belief that I had leading up to and during the last IVF has finaly come back to me. One of my proactive steps was to join a chat line or forum. I have never before chatted on any line and was totally in the dark as to what to do. Anyway I registered on this site yesterday and put up a post that I thought would be encouraging to others. I thought that all the pain I had been through could be put to use in offering encouragement to people in a similar position to me. Very sadly I received an email from another member saying that my story sounded like a sales pitch and I now see my post is no longer on the site. I came here to find companionship and to offer companionship, empathy and understanding to others.

I find it terribly sad that someones enthusiasm and belief in something they believe can truely assist others should be misconstrued in such a ghastly fashion. Does excitement and belief = a sales pitch? I had hoped that I could offer someone who may be walking a similar path to me some other options that they just may not have been aware of. I am deeply saddened by this response..... surely a forum should allow people to chat about there disappointments and those things which they have found to be positive and helpful and which they believe may be helpful to others? Clauds

Status: Online

 

[Natsby]

So sorry to hear that. What did they think you were selling, optimism? I think you are being very strong and I really hope that carries you right through to you bFP!

 

[Sophia17]

Stay strong! It's a long, rough journey,but you'll get through it. Praying you get a BFP soon!

 

[Eleonora]

Maybe people were confused because you write in complete sentences with only a few acronyms! Just kidding. The internet can be unnecessarily cruel. It is so hard to catch what people really mean sometimes. Don't take it personally - - or rather, TRY not to take it personally-- I know I would be very hurt. There is definitely a certain style that I see in a lot of forum posts and it seems like everyone knows each other - - which obviously can't be true. At least not until we have all been through a bunch of cycle together and lets hope it doesn't take too long! Best wishes!

 

[clauds123]

Thank you so much all of you for your words of encouragement. This is what I had thought chatting would be about. I wouldl ove to be of assistance to anyone if I can I have done so much research on increasing ones chances of fertility that I would so like to share if they are of value to anyone.... yoga, fertility hynosis, chinese herbs, diet ect As I say Im new and this morning I must admit I thought of throwing in the towel and giving up this chat business but after reading these lovely comments I will stay a little longer and hopefully I can be of help to someone out there.. Thanks again Clauds

 

[Natsby]

I´m a big fan of hypnosis too, and acupuncture( although not chinese herbs, they just taste too vile). Yeah stick around we are a good bunch really!

 

[sukisam]

good luck with your journey the ladies on this site are lovely and very supportive.

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

 

[Mon_n_john]

Oh you poor thing, I'm so sorry that you didn't feel welcome. Let me be the first to say welcome to B and B! Thank you for sharing your story with us. Don't give up, it is important that we all keep hope alive here. Hugs!

 

[FutureMommie]

So sorry that you felt so unwelcomed on the previous site but I think you have found the right place there are so many women here that can learn from all of your knowledge and research, I look forward to chatting with you! What is your next step with ivf?

 

[sarahincanada]

was your post the one about IVF in South Africa by chance? I read that yesterday and also felt it read like an advert for the clinic and it sounds like others thought it was and the admins too if they removed it. So yes your post was misconstrued, but it was the way it was written. its nothing personal so Im sure you can move on and make friends as this forum is great, just join in and post and you will feel at home in no time.

 

[Butterfly67]

Hi, I also read your post about the IVF and felt it sounded exactly like a sales pitch for a specific clinic from someone who was a new member (which is often what happens with promotional posts). I did not reply for that reason but forums are places where a lot of internet savvy people do try and promote things and so the admins are often on the look out for things like that.

I wish you all the best for your journey and hope that this initial setback doesn't stop you from finding some similar and sympathetic friends in the same boat as you

 

[clauds123]

[I quite agree with you the herbs are vile but have helped me so much with the edometriosis that I had and when I had my first DE IVF my gynae said my uterus looked amazzzing so yip I agree with you they are really vile but I think can be a big help... the lengths we go to!

 

[clauds123]

Thank you so much for your kind words, I so appreciate them. I will continue with another DE IVF in South Africa most likely at the beginning of next year. Having just completed two the finances are extremely tight right now. I thought it would be a good idea to join a chat line as part of the continutaion process as the beginning of next year is still a long way off. I thought being part of a chat line will keep me motivated to continue with the relaxation exercises, hypnosos, chinese herbs, vitamins and strict fertility diet... I really am a bit of a type A personality and feeling quite tired and bored of the routine so I thought a bit of shareing may keep me motivated and that maybe I could be of some help to others

 

[Desperado167]

Hi and welcome to the forum,there is a wonderful group of ladies here that I personally couldn't live without,the support is amazing ,I hope u settle in soon and find lots of new friends,good luck on your journey ,

 

[BlueHadeda]

Hi there!!!

I'm from South Africa too... It's always great to "meet" someone from my country online! I'm also still new on this forum, as I've just been through my first cycle of TTC.

Pity about your post that got deleted. Don't let that dishearten you. I find that the mods on this site are quite strict about the rules, which I accept as part of this forum. Some other forums I've been on, particularly in SA, is much more relaxed. The cons of that is of course that things can get said which really should've been moderated. I myself is an administrator on a very small South African parenting forum, and has been both blasted and applauded for deleting and not deleting some controversial posts. It's never an easy call, or easy to do. Maybe next time, just don't name the clinic you're going to, by name.

Good luck on your journey! I'll pray for a BFP on your next IVF attempt. I can totally understand your financial worries. It's hideously expensive in SA, isn't it? Does your medical aid cover any of your costs?

 

[onmymind17]

Oh i am so sorry to hear that, i saw your post, and i did not think it sounded like a sales pitch, i thought it was very interesting and informative. Unfortunatly there are a lot of not so nice people that get on these boards for their own gains, the mods were just trying to protect everybody. I am glad you clarified it for eveybody, and i sure hope you stay, it really is a wonderful very supportive group of people here.