Exhausted :(

[highhopes19]

Daisy is 3 weeks old and I am tired 24/7

My c-section scar has an infection so I'm on my second course of antibiotics as the first lot did absolutely nothing... I am in agony still aswel as a UTI, severe back pain from scoliosis which caused the spinal to go wrong and took them several attempts, and the infection just making me feel rotton.

Tom works Monday-Friday and the occasional Saturday... Since we've left hospital he hasn't done one night.... Even his week off paternity (he's self employed) I did every night despite being in agony.

He claims he doesn't hear her which I'm usure of... But who am I to say he's lying! Even the nights he promises he will do which is a Saturday so I can get a good night sleep he doesn't and just lays there until I get up. He didn't even offer this weekend just stayed asleep!! I've been back to hospital several times since being home one being Friday night and he didn't have work the next day.... We got home at 1:30am and he still let me get up to her when she woke.

I'm exhausted.... He's always been lazy around the house... To get him to do things is a struggle.... Such as I'd wake up to clothes all over the bathroom and landing floor, plates left on the sofa..... Despite me being awake for upto 2 hours at a time with bubba I still have to set my alarm to wake him for work as he wont get up.... So I'm usually awake for Daisy between 1-3:30 and then up for him at 5:30 then every 10 minutes until he decides to get up...
Which can be up to an hour with him moaning and sometimes even swearing at me whilst he's half asleep (he doesn't remember he's like it when I tell him later and seems genuinely shocked) so then say 6-6:30am I go back to sleep and then I'm up at 7:30 for Isabelle for nursery (which I walk to).

I can't get to bed early as I'm tidying up and doing housework and atleast wanna relax for an hour before sleeping to wind down....

This evening I was sitting down and I asked if he would like to give Daisy her bottle and he said "can you do it? I'm just looking something up"

I'm just so tired and in so much pain... Constantly whilst he's refreshed everyday but yet moans he's tired ... Yeah goes to work but everytime I ring him he's at a blooming burger van or in the loo or doing anything but working.

I would love it if he just did one night on a Saturday....
But I know I can't trust him as he just would leave her crying for hours bless her

Last Saturday he let me have a lay in till gone 11 I was really greayful for it as if been awake all night with Daisy ....
But when I got up he hadn't even given Isabelle breakfast as I had promised the night before to do them pancakes so he left her without breakfast and she had been snacking on chocolate whilst he slept on the sofa!!



I feel so alone with it all and have a constant headache from the time I wake up to the time I go to bed

 

[Sb86]

Didn't wanna read n run, I'm currently up doing a night feed so this won't be a long reply cos I'm dying to get back to sleep before she wakes again!

I'm so sorry you're having a rough time , I'm exhausted too and with me being a single mum I sometimes wonder if I've got it hard because I've no one to share feeds with, but when I read posts like yours I realise that even ladies with partners have it tough BECAUSE THEY ARE SO DAMN LAZY!

I'm so angry for you (maybe cos I'm knackered?!), but if I were you there's no way I'd let my partner lay there asleep whilst you do all this. Not a chance.
I'd have blown up at him by now. He sounds like a child - you have to wake him for work?!?! Are you serious?!

I honestly don't know what to say because I'm baffled at the amount of partners I read about who don't help like they should.
I guess the only advice - talk to him?
You need a rest I feel for you, I really do. X

 

[tallybee]

I agree with pp. I have been in both boats with a newborn, I. E. Single as well as partnered. Single is a lot easier than with a crap partner! it sounds like your oh has it so easy, he's so used to having it so easy that he has literally no clue. I might sound harsh but I would stop doing so much for him like getting him up for work, I'd tell him it's not happening any longer and it's his responsibility from now on then just stop. He isn't a child but is acting like one. He won't like it but so what he needs to step up. As for around the house I don't have the answers as my oh is bad too but slowly improving. I've found that calm delegation works best, I had been taking it all on then getting pissed off which he would respond badly to. Don't just clear up after him, or he will never see it. I've started bagging up all the stuff that gets left around and stuffing it in the cupboard. He didn't like that at first but I explained I can't be tripping over mess all day long so if it's left out that's where it'll be. Seems to have got through somewhat and less is left out ��

 

[lau86]

your OH needs to get off his bum and help then you would feel much better. He hasn't got a leg to stand on if he is only expected to do one night a week and he doesn't even do that.

 

[kellyc1987]

That sounds so rough, sorry you're going through this

He says that he will do one night but "doesn't hear her" what would happen if you woke him when the baby started crying on the night he says he would get up? My OH has bad hearing so if it's his night we have agreed that I wake him up when the baby is crying.

He also kept asking me to set my alarm for him, in the end I had to stop doing it as I was knackered, during an argument I just told him to grow up, I'm not his mum and I'm not his alarm clock so he better start doing it himself because I couldn't care less whether he gets up for work or not. He hasn't asked since lol.

I'm generally the messy one and he is a bit OCD on cleaning so I haven't got any advice for you there.

Do you have any family that could help/support you whilst you recover?