Experiences at first antenatal appointment

[Linze]

We're a lesbian couple that conceived through artificial home insemination and have our first antenatal appointment tomorrow. We're unsure about whether we'll be asked about conceiving and details about the donor when we say we used one.

We're not uncomfortable talking about the fact we used a donor, we just don't want him to be seen as the father throughout the whole pregnancy when baby has two mums. So we were just wondering if you ladies in the same situation could let us know how some of your experiences went and what was asked so we have some idea of what to expect?

Thanks

 

[J.D.]

No help to give you here, but good luck! We used a "frozen pop" so our donor is a matter of record (and anonymous for the next couple of decades). I hope nobody makes it awkward for you.

 

[The2mums]

Linze congrats! Can't wait till its us. Any tips for at home AI? We are starting again real soon also in the UK north west here.

I'd just be honest if asked. We have a known donor. We are civil partnered and as we are doing AI my partner and I will be the legal parents.

Xx

 

[gemsar]

We felt the same when we had our first appointments. They ask how you conceived and Thats it. They just call them a sperm donor.the whole way thru our pregnancy we have been treated like any other straight couple would. My partner is on my green medical notes so everytime you have an appointment they look at the notes first. Trust me you get treated as two moms
Same sex parenting is becoming more widespread and every midwife we have spoken to have dealt with previous same sex couples.
You'll be fine.
Enjoy the experience x

 

[Linze]

Thank you all for your replies.

The appointment went well and we weren't treated any differently to how I'd imagine a straight couple would be treated. There was only one cringey moment where the midwife looked and my other half and said, "well, you didn't get her pregnant, so have you told the father?"

But we'd only been in there a few mins, so once everything was explained it was fine

 

[Linze]

Linze congrats! Can't wait till its us. Any tips for at home AI? We are starting again real soon also in the UK north west here.

I'd just be honest if asked. We have a known donor. We are civil partnered and as we are doing AI my partner and I will be the legal parents.

Xx

Thank you! Not sure I really have any tips other than try using conceive plus if you haven't already. It may just have been a coincidence, but this was our first cycle using it and we got pregnant. It's not too expensive really, think we paid around £14 for 8 tubes with applicators from amazon. We chose that over preseed as we'd read a few stories about miscarriages with preseed.

Hope that helps xx