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- Sep 15, 2013
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Exactly the lack of honesty before he put a label on it/ when confronted is where I feel I need to walk away. But I want answers and to not make a knee jerk decision. So we’ll see
ETA so we had a 2.5 hour talk at the park. We went through everything in his past. He said he's requested to use the mental health services at work. He says that he buried so much of that marriage and stillbirth, and it scares him how much he pushed out of his mind and pretended never happened. And then once I made him remember, that he couldn't just come out and say it. So he'd like to try therapy to understand it better.
We agreed that a reset is needed. He doesn't feel like he's living up to being my bf, and I agree. So for now he's just Chicago. He talked to his landlords, and they said I can come over next weekend for a bit. He promised to have his lease and divorce papers. I called it, and the divorce is filed (in Feb) but not finished. He admitted it's too soon to be dating. So we have cancelled any plans that involved meeting people. We are still going on traditional dates.
I did also remember that Wed night he told me he hd something to serious to talk about. But I kept falling asleep while he was talking so I told him no. Then he said it was important so he wanted to talk Thurs, but then I told him I need a full night's rest before my long drive. Last night, I asked him when we were going to talk because we were planning to go to a community event today in my hometown. He said we'd talk this morning in person before we go, and I got upset and that's when I went on my FBI deep dive. I do think, now looking back on those phone calls on Wed (2 actually a midday one didn't work out because A was jumping on me) and Thurs (where I fell asleep again lol), I do think he would have told me this morning.
The trust is shattered, but he seems genuinely remorseful and committed to trying to better himself and be better for me. So time will tell.
ETA so we had a 2.5 hour talk at the park. We went through everything in his past. He said he's requested to use the mental health services at work. He says that he buried so much of that marriage and stillbirth, and it scares him how much he pushed out of his mind and pretended never happened. And then once I made him remember, that he couldn't just come out and say it. So he'd like to try therapy to understand it better.
We agreed that a reset is needed. He doesn't feel like he's living up to being my bf, and I agree. So for now he's just Chicago. He talked to his landlords, and they said I can come over next weekend for a bit. He promised to have his lease and divorce papers. I called it, and the divorce is filed (in Feb) but not finished. He admitted it's too soon to be dating. So we have cancelled any plans that involved meeting people. We are still going on traditional dates.
I did also remember that Wed night he told me he hd something to serious to talk about. But I kept falling asleep while he was talking so I told him no. Then he said it was important so he wanted to talk Thurs, but then I told him I need a full night's rest before my long drive. Last night, I asked him when we were going to talk because we were planning to go to a community event today in my hometown. He said we'd talk this morning in person before we go, and I got upset and that's when I went on my FBI deep dive. I do think, now looking back on those phone calls on Wed (2 actually a midday one didn't work out because A was jumping on me) and Thurs (where I fell asleep again lol), I do think he would have told me this morning.
The trust is shattered, but he seems genuinely remorseful and committed to trying to better himself and be better for me. So time will tell.
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