Extended breastfeeders: advice on how to wean 3yr old - Update - We did it !

[Hula1]

Hi,

My son will be 3 next month and i would like to gently finish bfing him then. I have been very gradually reducing him down and he now has just one very brief feed but its the bedtime one AND most nights he falls asleep whilst bfing....! I was hoping i could replace it with books or story telling and that worked a couple of times but now he just waits till we finish and then asks 'can i have some milk please mummy!' He can fall asleep fine with dh or my mum and can sttn most nights unless ill. He very rarely asks for milk any other time.

I would have liked to have let him self wean but we are ttc no 2 and bfing stopped my periods for 23mns and when they 1st came back i had a short luteal phase and at 39 and with a mc in april i would like to take some supplements that i don t feel comfortable doing bfing and worry that even a little bfing could just be taking the edge of my fertily and i dont have time to lose.

Has anyone found a good way of explaining to their LO about stopping bfing ? I don t want a traumatic end to what has been a very special relationship.

Any help would be greatly appreciated.

 

[mandaa1220]

I don't have experience with this, as I'm currently expecting my first LO, but my recommendation with things like this is talking about how the child is becoming a "big boy/girl" and how big boys don't drink milk from mommies anymore.

I hope someone comes along who is more experience and has better recommendations. Congratulations on making it to almost 3 years... that's a huge accomplishment.

 

[staralfur]

Could you move the nursing to the beginning of the bedtime routine? That's how I got my LO out of the habit of nursing to sleep. She now knows we do boobies, book, sleep. It seems it might be easier to dissociate sleep from feeding before dropping the feeding altogether.

 

[tinybutterfly]

^^ great tip!

and I'm so glad you posted this because I'm in the same situation, my girl is already 3 (i know, really must change my signature) and still nursing, she loves it so much.

telling her how she's a big girl etc doesn't work. She just starts to say "but look mommy, I'm not that tall yet, I'm still a bit little! I neeeeeed mommy's milk!"
If I tell her that none of her friends in kindergarden drink milk from their mommy she doesn't care, and if I tell her they might laugh, she shrugs and doesn't give a damn.
well, A+ for confidence haha

I've heard about letting the child choose a date/event and have a little/big party to mark the milestone. They have to realise that after that date there will be no more mommy's milk.
I tried that with mine, she said "during the summer holidays"...yeah, it ain't happening. But it is worth a try. Next try now is when school starts again in september.

good luck!!!

 

[Hula1]

Thank you all for your replies and suggestions and i ll give them a try.

Tinybutterfly your little one sounds just like mine. When i ve suggested he ll be old enough to not need mummy's milk he just says 'i m not, i m still a baby !' and similarly he says things like 'mummy i like your milk' which makes me feel bad about stopping it but i really don t won t to be still nursing him when he starts school !!

I ve heard of setting a date and might give it a try but i bet he won t stick to it without a fight !

 

[Blondie007]

About a month before my little girl turned 2, I started to tell her that she will be a big girl on her birthday and that only babies have booby. We had this discussion almost every night leading up to her birthday and I told her that once it was her birthday then she wouldn't need it. She seemed to understand. My little girl is a very strong minded little thing and I thought I'd have all kinds of trouble (I was dreading it!) but it was so easy. I fed her on the night of her birthday and took my time as I felt a bit sad and I didn't feed her again. She did ask me the first night but I just reminded her that she was a big girl now and she was great. Never had one tear!
Hope it works for you xx

 

[Night Flower]

Would a bottle instead help?

 

[Celesse]

DD1 had her last nursing session the night before her 3rd birthday. I simply told her 3 meant she was a big girl and big girls dont have boobies. We had lots of conversations about this in the month up to her birthday. She just accepted it as didn't know any different. First couple of days asked to nurse but was easily distracted and then totally fine.

 

[Hula1]

Thanks ladies,

I think maybe we ll try that. He s 3 in just over one month and has always understood and accepted he can't have certain foods until he s 3 (eg nuts altho i m kinda hoping he doesn t ask for them on his birthday as i still would worry about choking but just said that oneday when he asked for some and 3 seemed a long way off !)

So for the next month i ll remind him each night and fingers crossed it works without tears.

 

[kuriazuri]

My mom just told my little sister it was all gone! It worked very well.

 

[Hula1]

Well ladies we did it and no tears ! The month before his birthday every few days i d remind he that there wouldn t be any milk there once he was 3. If he seemed to be getting a bit anxious i d back of saying anything for a few days. I decided i would still feed him to sleep on his birthday and actually he was ill for a few days after so it was 4days after his 3rd birthday that when he asked at bedtime for milk i reminded him he was 3 now so it was gone but that we could have a cuddle and i would lie with him till he went to sleep and he was fine ! He asked the next couple of nights and now for the last two hasn t even asked (and we also now do a cup of cows milk before teeth). Although it makes me a bit teary that it s over i think we were both ready and i m so glad it was gentle end i had hoped for to a wonderful breastfeeding journey.

Thanks for all your help and input and i hope your journeys are equally special.