'extended' co-sleeping

[kosh]

my LO is almost 3 and we co-slept since birth. he was/is a terrible sleeper so I never really tried to move him out.
A couple of days ago, we were role playing putting to bed his stuffed animals and he said he wanted to have a bed too and sleep in his own room. I put his little mattress there and tonight is the third night he sleeps in his own bed .... with me on the floor! Of course I wasn't expecting anything different (he still wakes to nurse during the night!) but I feel I need a plan as I do not think I'll survive with this new sleeping arrangement.
We are potty training at the moment (going really well) so it was never my idea to move him out and/or wean him at the same time, but given he asked for his own space (sort of) I thought I should follow his lead.

how did you deal with the transition?
any tips will be greatly appreciated!

 

[kosh]

no one transitioned a toddler from a family bed to their own room?

 

[SarahBear]

Violet is only 2. We're not there yet! But good luck to you

 

[Midnight_Fairy]

I definitly think he will settle in time x

 

[EcoMama]

Hi, my son is 5 and sleeps half and half in his room and our room. He co-slept fully until he was nearly 4. We didn't have his bed in ours first, like what you have done as we (Me, OH & DS) felt he was old enough to go in his own room as well as his own bed.

He hadn't been breastfed until 18 months old, so waking in the night for feeds wasn't an issue.

At bedtime Either OH or I would get in to DS bed with him, read stories, then lie together. Once he was asleep I would then leave his bed.... Not sure if I'd do this if ds woke in the night (Maybe try leaving his bed whilst he is still awake, but staying in the room) Now he is 5 we still have the same snuggle up and read stories routine but he is happy for me to leave befoe he falls asleep.... I remember when 1st starting this I would explain to him that I was just in the next room and I would go ini to my room for 10-15mons until he fell asleep x

 

[kosh]

thanks ecomama
so he wouldn't wake in the middle of the night during the transition?
my LO doesn't STTN and since he is in his own bed/room has said that he wants me to be there with him.
I have no idea how to slowly getting him used to being alone?

 

[felix555]

I was actually chatting to my mom about this the other day ...

I co-slept until I was about 5 and then for a while slept on a mattress next to my parents' bed and eventually in my own room but the mattress was still there if I wanted to sleep there ... which was often. I was a bad sleeper (punished for that now by my son!)

I also have a brother and he's 18 months younger than I am and when he was born he also slept in the same bed as us. Me in the middle with parents in either side and ny brother on the outside on my mom's side. He started sleeping in his own room long before I did at about 2.

I think even now at age 34 I'd be welcome in my parents bed

 

[EcoMama]

Sorry, yes he still wakes through the night. When he wakes he just come in with us, still. Usually around 4am. Sometimes, somtimes he'll still be in his own bed by morning. But usually he ends up in ours (Or my oh gets out of ours and goes back in to ds's with him) xxx

 

[Midnight_Fairy]

I was actually chatting to my mom about this the other day ...

I co-slept until I was about 5 and then for a while slept on a mattress next to my parents' bed and eventually in my own room but the mattress was still there if I wanted to sleep there ... which was often. I was a bad sleeper (punished for that now by my son!)

I also have a brother and he's 18 months younger than I am and when he was born he also slept in the same bed as us. Me in the middle with parents in either side and ny brother on the outside on my mom's side. He started sleeping in his own room long before I did at about 2.

I think even now at age 34 I'd be welcome in my parents bed

Love this. When I am ill, I still want my mumma lol!! When i stay at mu sisters (rarer these days as both have families) we always sleep in same bed like when we were kids.

 

[busytulip]

Sorry I don't have any advice. We have co slept with all of our children. Sometimes it is just a personality or comfort thing. Our 6 year old DD will still wake between 2-4 am and climb into bed with us, every night without fail. So far she is the only child who wasn't sleeping in their own bed by age 2. Good luck! I am certain the floor must be uncomfortable.

 

[felix555]

Kosh how did it go last night? Would moving the matters next to your bed be an option for the transition?

 

[kosh]

Kosh how did it go last night? Would moving the matters next to your bed be an option for the transition?

thanks for asking felix. no progress in terms of the transition as I am still on the floor but he seems to be sleeping better in his own bed/room, so I am happy! He's been sleeping there since Friday. I don't want to put his mattress next to our bed as he obviously wants to be in his big bed now that 'he is big' (his words) but he still wants me there too. I think it's going to take a looong time though

 

[felix555]

Kosh how did it go last night? Would moving the matters next to your bed be an option for the transition?

thanks for asking felix. no progress in terms of the transition as I am still on the floor but he seems to be sleeping better in his own bed/room, so I am happy! He's been sleeping there since Friday. I don't want to put his mattress next to our bed as he obviously wants to be in his big bed now that 'he is big' (his words) but he still wants me there too. I think it's going to take a looong time though

It sounds like progress to me! You will get there.

I've spent many nights on my LO's floor, it's actually got a huge pillow ... almost like a bean bag bigger than I am that I sleep on. I actually sometimes think it's more comfortable than my own bed

 

[kosh]

I've asked him a couple of times if I could sleep in my room, and he said 'when G is 'more bigger' mama sleeps in the other room'

 

[felix555]

Well there is hope then ... you should ask him to narrow it down. As in 6 years old big or 16 years old just so you need to know what you're working with here!

 

[kosh]

true! I just thought it was a step in the right direction - at least he knows (maybe even wants?) that he'll sleep on his own some day.
It's amazing how much he's grown up in the last month...

 

[star1]

Has he got any sleep associations other than yourself? A favourite cuddly toy that he takes to bed with him? If not, I would start working on that, so he has something there for comfort when you're eventually in different rooms

Also, it might be worthwhile trying gradual retreat. Are you in reaching distance at the moment on his floor? Can you try gradually working your way towards the door and out of the room, by moving where you sleep every few days?

Also, make sure he spends time in his room by himself doing fun things during the day so he's used to being in there alone

Good luck x

 

[kosh]

thanks star1
he has a few cuddly toys that some times takes to bed with him, but not a favorite one, and they are not really 'sleep associations' anyway. He used to take his little elephant to nursery when he was upset, so I could try to create a link there.

I did think of very slowly moving my 'bed' away. My main concern is he still still wakes up during the night and nurses back to sleep...

 

[sequeena]

Good luck we are still Co sleeping xx

 

[kosh]

Good luck we are still Co sleeping xx

to be honest I do not know if I am ready to stop