extreme jealousy

[chistiana]

Hello everyone. This is the first time posting in this part of the forums. I have 3 kids aged 7 (ds), 5 (dd1) and 2 (dd2). Up to the day my 3rd one was born ds and dd1 had a fantastic relationship. I barely experienced any jealousy outbreaks when dd1 was born and they always comforted each other . This all changed when dd2 was born. within a day ds became really possessive of his little sister and started treating dd1 really bad. I thought it was a phase. ..it's been 2 years and things are going from bad to worse. He is constantly putting her down and trying to take dd2 on his "side". I understand this is jealousy and I ve tried almost everything. .I spend more time with him, have talked to him nicely have talked to him sternly have cut on priviledges rewarded him...nothing works for more than a day I am desperate...what do I do? what am I doing wrong? has anyone else experienced this? please help

 

[Septie]

Hiya Christina!! You might remember that I have kids with similar ages (my older two boys are a few months older than yours). I could have written your post, and unfortunately haven't found anything that works. #2 loves to play with #3 (probably because they are closer in age than #1 and #3), and #1 is extremely jealous of their relationship (though #3 is happy to play with anybody). He doesn't want #2 to show his affection to #3 in any way (like holding hands on walks). #2 and #3 have also become competitive on trivial things - like who gets the yellow vitamin, and who the red one; who gets a good night kiss first, who builds better lego etc. #2 is a very easy-going, sweet, happy kid, so it is mostly #1 who instigates these fights, and I am out of ideas as well...Overall, clearly #1 gets by far the most of our attention of all three (both positive and negative actually - though he only notices the negative attention, of course), but nothing is working. So sorry to hear that you are struggling with similar issues!

 

[chistiana]

hi septie I remember you but I had forgotten you have kids at the same ages!! your post is like the continuation of mine! #3 is happy with everyone, #2 is the most easy going (and I have to say she really adores #1), #1 gets the most attentions and he is the one causing all chaos...what on earth?? I m sorry to hear you are experiencing the same although it's kind of comforting to know I m not the only one. ��