family doesn't understand want me to just get over this

[LaceFace88]

Hey girls

I just need to vent to someone. Everyone on my real life is so unsupportive. I just feel so alone. I feel like no one understands what I'm dealing with. I have had really bad mood swings recently and I feel like everyone is against me my parents and OH gang up on me because my emotions are everywhere and when they say hurtful things and I start to cry they just. Say for me to stop crying that I need to get over this and should be over it already...ita only been six weeks and I have been tryin my harcest to get back to normal but I don't feel like I will ever be again.they all gang up on me. I feel like no one understands the mental and emotional struggles I am dealing with. Everytime I try to explain I end up crying and they are sick of seeing me cry n tell me there sick of it and I need to stop actin like a baby....honestly sometimes I just want to walk out and never come back....has anyone else had there family act like this towards then or is it just my family

 

[honeybunch2k7]

I've had family members say terrible things to me. I'm sorry this is happening to you as well. What they are saying to you is cruel and appalling.

Some people just don't understand.

You say you want to walk out...Maybe you should...Some time away from everyone may serve you well.

We are here for you.

 

[slg76]

I'm so sorry that you aren't getting the support you need! I've only had an early loss but I'm sure that the further along you get the more attached to the baby you are. I know I was totally in love with my DD well before she was born, in fact probably since I was about 10 weeks pregnant.
Of course it will take you time to feel better. Is your OH being supportive? Everyone grieves differently and you just need to do what you need to do for yourself. If you are still having trouble doing day-to-day things or are crying all day I would seek out a counselor to help you work through this.
Big hugs and I'm so sorry for your loss

 

[LaceFace88]

I do my day to day things I have four children that I care for 8 5 4 and 8 months. I just am super sensitive and get hurt very easy by things people say. OHs way of dealon with things is by acting as thought nothing happened. I know inside he is hurting but he doesn't talk about it. I was never an emotional person but since this has happened I am very sensitive and I guess they are not used to my feelings being hurt so easily but I can't help it. I am seeing a counselor once a week and it is helping at first the first two weeks I didn't want to live anymore so I sought out help and it has been helping. I know I need to be here for my children and have come along way but I am sooo sensitive and I feel like they should be a little more aware of what they say. Thank you all for listening and understanding.

xoxoxo

 

[slg76]

I'm glad to hear that you are getting help and that you find it useful. I think your counselor will help more and more as time goes on (until you just don't need it anymore). It sounds like you are doing great given the circumstances. I would be very clear with your family that you are hurting and need their support. If they can't do that maybe you do need a break from them (as much as is reasonable given you are a mommy). Hang in there

 

[Emmasmom2]

I am saddened to hear your family is giving you hard time. As if dealing with the loss of your baby boy was not enough to break one's heart I can't say I have the best support as well. My husband is great and incredibly supportive but my parents have said things that hurt me very much. I was truly shocked that the people who are supposed to have my back no matter what where the first ones to critisize me. Most people's attitude is "get over it, nothing can be done." It drives me bonkers. I am not trying to change the world and have stopped trying to convince people that damn it I do have a right to mourn my daughter even if she was a 20 weeker. I am going to grieve on my one terms. No one tells me how to mourn my daughter.

Take your time, honey, they might not mean harm but their attitude certainly doesn't help. We know that world didn't come to an end (although it still feels like it did sometimes), we know that our other children need to be fed/clothed/driven to school/soccer practice, etc. but that doesn't take away the pain from missing that baby that we didn't get to bring home.

 

[LaceFace88]

Regardless of age 20 weeks is alot of hope dreams and time that we feel our little ones moving inside of us. Everyloss is hard but we also have memories of what they looked like my son was fully formed seen him breathing he was alive and now is gone. There is no pain like it and is just not going to disappear over night.

 

[Andypanda6570]

It's been over 3 years for me and they still think i am crazy for going to a grave every week, talking about her and so on. I was 22 weeks, she existed, she was real..They will never understand, if they THEMSELVES went through it they would be shocked as shit and apologizing profusely for how they thought U JUST GET OVER IT... Nobody understands,,Just the way it is.. I have just learned to accept it.. All My Love

 

[LaceFace88]

I have come to that conclusion as well. It just hurts wish I wasnt dealing with this alone. Sometimes I want to just crawl into a hole and never come out. I will never understand why this happens to people. It is just so unfair. Especially when there are so many people who do not want their children and mistreat them and then the people who would do anything to have children or who are excellent parents have this happen to them THIS WORLD IS CO CRUEL!

 

[Foogirl]

I haven't been through what you've been through, but even I can see that at six weeks it must still be very raw. I think your OH needs to talk to someone to understand how to help you. You can speak to as many counsellor so as you like but unless your family support you, it will always be difficult for you. To say they are sick of seeing you cry about it is unforgivable. My mum lost a child at 5 months 45 years ago and she still cries about it from time to time. You need time to grieve and you need to do it in your own way.

Have you looked for a support group or similar in your area? We have some great charities who provide support here, I'd be surprised if there isn't something similar near you.