Favorite way to de stress before bed?

[MEPride]

I am a 'high needs' sleeper. I sleep lightly and it seems like the smallest stressor is enough to keep me from sleep. Of course having a newborn is a stressor.

It took 2 hours to finally put my DD asleep tonight. I put a binky in her mouth, which I never do for bed but I was desperate. I started falling asleep. Then she spat it out a cried about 20 min later. Thankfully she was able to self-soothe and go back to sleep. But of course I got stressed out from her crying again after a struggle to put her down and now I can't sleep.

My not sleeping is becoming a regular occurrence and I don't like it. It's becoming more of a vicious cycle because each time it happens I get frustrated and angry that I can't sleep. And now my bed is no longer a comfortable place to be since I'm associating it was stress and no sleep.

What can I do? Have any of you experienced this?

 

[jessmke]

I know this is the exact opposite of what is recommended, but I often fall asleep with a tv show on if I am feeling stressed or having trouble falling asleep. I will put something on my iPad that I have watched a million times (like an episode of Friends), so it's something I don't really feel compelled to pay close attention to, but the noise is enough to calm my brain down and stop the internal dialogue that keeps me awake. I put the volume down so I can just barely hear it and it isn't loud enough to be too distracting. I like Netflix because it automatically turns off after a certain time so it isn't playing all night long. It would probably work with music as well, but I prefer a tv show. I've had a hard time falling asleep my whole life because I can't shut my brain down and am just constantly thinking about things, and this is the only thing I have found that works other than medication to get me to sleep.

As far as de-stressing before getting into bed, my favourite is a glass of wine in the hot tub! I love it when baby start sleeping a decent stretch at the start of the night so I can have a glass of wine without worrying too much about it.

 

[superfrizbee]

Gosh I had this with my first! Funnily enough not with my second or third (I'm less stressed an anxious with them I guess). I like the lavender roller balls you can put on your temples, a good book or a puzzle magazine (I'm cool like that!). Perhaps look at the headspace app and try a bit of mindfulness or other techniques to de-stress.

 

[superfrizbee]

Oh and I'll tell you what else... I definitely have kept my self awake in the past by stressing about not sleeping. What helped was being in a better frame of mind about sleep. I decided I wasn't going to worry about not sleeping. I would lay in bed and tell myself that even in just lying there, not sleeping, I would still be resting. Once I started thinking like that ("Oh well, at least im resting") my mind would relax more and I would sleep. It didnt happen overnight but I did manage to "train" myself and once I wasn't fighting with my own brain it definitely helped.

 

[xdxxtx]

^^ What SuperFrizbee said. Also, are you nursing your baby? I like to nurse in sidelying position with my baby beside me in a co-sleeper (not in my bed because I don't sleep well with LOs in my bed). It takes a little getting used to, but I will just watch my baby nurse, and my baby will latch on randomly throughout the night. All I have to do is roll over toward my baby if my baby starts fussing. No talking, no getting up, no latching baby on - they WILL do it themselves after a few times. This is a favorite technique of mine that I've used with my four subsequent babies. The act of nursing puts me to sleep, so my insomnia doesn't kick in. haha.

If you're not nursing,....... then do you have an co-parent living with you? When my babies are no longer nursing at night, my OH will get up with them. OH will do diaper changes and soothe babies during the night so I can sleep. It might be awkward to ask - but there's no way you should be caring for your baby on your own if you DO have a co-parent living in the house.

If neither of those apply,..... I like playing puzzle games on my phone to calm my mind. I put it in night mode, so it's a yellow light instead of blue. That being said, I was up until 1 am last night watching Friends AND playing my puzzle game, but my mind was relaxed, and I had a good time.

 

[geenee]

Once my DS is in the bed, I like to just lay on the couch and do nothing. I just like to have some quiet time to myself. Sometimes I listen to music or read a book. I hope you find something that helps.

 

[Symphony7]

Ugh I'm in the same boat. My girl is going through the endless sleep regression and I'm starting to stress out and not be able to fall asleep. I have no advice...I used to lice sleeping and bed so much, not so much anymore.

 

[Katha]

I usually try to work out. But simple, of course. A few push-ups, squats. If I had a stressful day, these exercises exhaust me more, so it is easier to fall asleep.
Hope, you will find, what works for you! Good luck!

 

[Bevziibubble]

I usually play on my phone. I know it's probably not recommended but I do find it relaxes me as I tend to find it hard to get to sleep.

 

[noon_child]

Deep breathing techniques. Visualising a calm safe place. Wave or rain noise. Mindfulness e.g what are 5 things I can see, 4 things I can hear, three things I can feel, two things I can smell, one thing I can taste. Also de-stressing during the day e.g doing a breathing or visualisation exercise will bring general stress levels down which will mean you'll get less stressed at bed time.

 

[Teri7489]

I took a few night to train my brain to accept that bed was a place for rest and not sleep. if sleep happened then great, if it didn't then owell. Forcing yourself to fall asleep never works but trying to stay awake does (hence your TV show working to help you fall asleep) I've had a few months of what I describe as hell, at least one kid has been ill or in hospital so I've been up and down, giving medicine, inhalers, nebulisers, drops or whatever and I've become broken. Before I would have been angry and shouted a lot but now it's a case of going back to bed and lying down. I just think to myself that if I fall asleep then yay, if I don't then at least I am lying here warm and cosy getting rest. Rest is all I need. I always fall asleep untill I'm needed again without tossing and turning, needing to stare at my phone or watch TV anymore. It just took a few nights to get my brain to play along. x

 

[CRWx]

Podcasts tend to help me- discovered it by surprise that they sent me to sleep but just something about listening to a voice talking calms me down!