Fear/anxiety... please read, I need some support

[AmyB1978]

How do you ladies cope with the fear/anxiety that something will go wrong?

I am 6 1/2 weeks pregnant and, so far things with baby seem to be fine. However, I am having some problems with elevated blood pressure (which is also freaking me out and the freaking out doesn't help the BP, I am sure!) but am being followed closely (changed my meds on Thursday, go back tomorrow for a routine appointment where they will check it again, AND have been referred to a specialist to follow the baby, and I, and make sure we are both okay. I am somewhat reassured by the fact that I am doing all that I can and that my Dr is being so proactive and following me so closely... I definitely feel like I am getting good care but I can't help but worry... about the BP and about anything else happening.

I had a miscarriage, at around 4 1/2 weeks, at the start of May. We got lucky and are blessed to have gotten pregnant again right away but, in some ways, I think that is making it harder emotionally. I have moments where I am still grieving our Sadie (the baby we lost) and then I feel guilty. I feel like I should be focused on this baby and happy that I am pregnant again (and I am!) and not grieving Sadie... but that loss is still so new that sometimes the fear/grief overpowers me.

I realize that they are two separate children and that by grieving Sadie it is in no way taking away my love for this baby and my gratitude for every moment I have with it, yet I still have that guilt.

I just need/want to know if this is normal.. this fear, this back and forth gratitude and grief and, mostly, I want to know how everyone else is coping with all these feelings, especially the fears.

Thank you, I know this is long~

 

[countrymama86]

I am honestly in the same boat as you are...I had a loss back in October 2011 I was 7 weeks and 3 days pregnant with our angel baby Addison ( thats what I call him at least) and then I had a chemical pregnancy back in April.I am now 9 weeks and 6 days pregnant and tomorrow I go in for my 10 week scan and I fear the worse even though my future hubby tells me not to worry. I don't think the worry ever goes away but you are more than welcome to talk with me anytime...I am seriously contemplating buying a at home doplar to ease my fears some..hope you feel better

 

[AmyB1978]

Countrymama,

I am sorry for your losses. Thank you for your response though and helping me realize that I am not alone! Good luck at your appointment.

 

[lauren10]

I think it's so normal. Pretty much my entire pregnancy I would look for blood every single time I went to the bathroom. I also felt a lot of guilt that I wasn't remembering the angel baby enough, or doing enough to honor him or her. It got a lot better with time for me, hopefully for you too.

 

[countrymama86]

I think it's so normal. Pretty much my entire pregnancy I would look for blood every single time I went to the bathroom. I also felt a lot of guilt that I wasn't remembering the angel baby enough, or doing enough to honor him or her. It got a lot better with time for me, hopefully for you too.

Seriously I thought I was going nuts, I check myself at least 4 times a day to make sure I am not bleeding

 

[croydongirl]

So normal. I am so sorry for your loss.

Trust your body if you feel something is up talk to your doctor, I am sure he/she understands your fears and I am sure they will work to get you on the right meds so that this is your happy ending

After 5 losses it took us a long time to feel confident about this one. It probably took me until 24 weeks, when the baby would have been viable outside the womb to believe it. Now I am only weeks away.

I really, hope that this is your forever baby. Wishing you all the best. xx

 

[countrymama86]

I am glad to know it does get easier

 

[Preggies]

There are things you can do to get your BP under control that doctors don't really talk about. Of course they say avoid salt and eat healthy, but that's not really enough information. There are a lot of other foods that can raise BP, even some that most people believe to be healthy. Try for a few days to avoid anything processed (including whole wheat or whole grains). Instead, eat brown rice for your grain, meat and vegetables. Fruit is good too. Refined carbs put stress on the body even if they are "high fiber" or low fat, low sugar. Also, noooooooooooo caffeine. Makes it worse.

 

[AmyB1978]

Thank you, everyone, for your responses, it helps to know that I am not alone in my fears and in my guilt, in all of it!

Thank you, Preggies, for the tips on BP. I see them again this morning so we will see where I am at.

 

[countrymama86]

Keep me updated I want to know how it goes for you AmyB

 

[AmyB1978]

My appointment went well. This was just a first/consult appointment but they were following up on my BP since it had been high. It was better and they seemed please with it... so sigh of relief for now and hoping for good news on Wednesday as well!

Thanks for asking!

 

[croydongirl]

I will be looking back on Wednesday - wishing you a great appointment

 

[AmyB1978]

I'm a blueberry!!!

 

[AmyB1978]

I am leaving in about 8 minutes for my first appointment with the specialist. I am a bundle of nerves since it is my first time at this doctor (Dr's make me really nervous anyhow,) I don't know what they will be doing, what they will say, or if everything will be okay.

I will post when I can with an update. I have to go to work after my appointment (assuming all is good) so it might not be until tonight.

Please keep me and the baby in your thoughts, and prayers (if you are someone who prays.)

Thank you.

 

[countrymama86]

breathe it will be ok

 

[AmyB1978]

I went to my appointment and it went well. They are pleased with my BP and just want to continue to monitor it/me. They did an ultrasound (which I wasn't expecting) and I got to see my baby! Everything looked good and I even got to see its little heartbeat flickering away on the monitor!

 

[wookie130]

That's great! Congrats!