Fear of not getting pregnant again

[Pixiedust22]

Does anybody have this strong fear that it's not gonna work again and you'll never get pregnant? I have PCOS but I conceived straight away when I tried for Oscar, I'm just scared that I got lucky that time and now I won't. OH says I'm being irrational and we'll conceive just fine but I'm still scared.

 

[Savasanna]

Pixie - that absolutely a valid concern! I don't want to speak for anyone else but I think fears of never becoming pregnant again, and actually fears of becoming pregnant again ("what if it happens again..") are 100% normal. Your OH is probably trying to help by reassuring you that everything is going to be ok. I understand where they are coming from, but sometimes it's nice to talk about and acknowledge our fears.

I'm so sorry for your loss. It's normal to be afraid. I truly hope all your worries and fears are unfounded.

 

[Pixiedust22]

Thank you Savasanna. I think last time I wasn't stressed out because I thought it'll happen when it happens and although I really wanted to be pregnant and it was a lovely surprise to get there straight away, I was OK with it taking a while especially with my PCOS. This time though I feel like I NEED it to work first time. I know that sounds entitled when lots of people take a long time to get pregnant, it's just every day I'm not pregnant is so painful.

 

[Savasanna]

Honestly, I completely understand and I don't think that sounds entitled in the least. I felt the same after my ectopic, although I was only 8 weeks along so I can only imagine the feeling is aplified for you.

I see your loss was pretty recent - are you planning on trying again straight away or is it recommended you wait?

 

[Pixiedust22]

I can't try again right now because I still have post-labour bleeding (I was induced and gave birth) but they said I can try after my next period has come.

Ectopic sounds really scary! It must have been difficult for you. Have you been trying or are you waiting a while?

 

[Savasanna]

I am so so sorry. My heart is breaking for you. Oscar - what a beautiful name.

We are trying now, yes, but we had to wait a few cycles in between. I'm currently 8dpo on our second try post ectopic. It's hard. Sometimes I feel like the unfairness of it all is swallowing me whole. The bitterness I have toward people who get (and stay) pregnant easily is definitely magnified. But - onward we march. Because it's the only thing left for us to do.

I hope you have a strong support system surrounding you right now.

 

[klsltsp]

Hey ladies

big hugs!! I think it's totally normal to feel this way, you've been through soo much

I too fear this, although I am lucky to have 2 ds already so I don't feel as entitled as you ladies. I had an ectopic on my c-section scar in the fall, my uterus almost ruptured and they almost had to do a hysterectomy... they saved my uterus and I thought, well if they were able to save it I MUST be meant to have 1 more, then in Feb I was told my uterus wasn't strong enough to carry a pregnancy.... I just got the okay yesterday to try again... in September. I fear that now that I have the okay, that I won't get pregnant. I have to say it's a really hard pill to swallow when the decision is not ours to make... when our bodies seem to fail us.. stay strong and do whatever you can to get yourself and your body ready.

GOod luck and I hope to see you lovely ladies with bfps soon!

Kim

 

[Pixiedust22]

Savasanna - I tend to think it's really unfair as well but then there's nothing you can do about it, so just march on like you say. I hope to get pregnant easily and stay pregnant this time!

klsltsp - That's quite a scary story! I'm glad you are able to try again, but sorry you have to wait until September. I guess we'll all get pregnant eventually, it's just hard to wait!

 

[Topanga053]

Hi hun,

I am so unbelievably sorry for your loss.

I can completely relate. DH and I got our BFP really early the first time, but had an early loss. When months went by afterwards with no BFP, I became incredibly depressed, convinced that I was never going to get pregnant again. I really, truly believed deep down that it just wasn't going to happen. As you can see, I did and my rainbow baby is four months old now. TTCAL can be so scary and heartbreaking, but you WILL get there.

Best of luck hun. xoxox

 

[Pixiedust22]

Aw thanks Topanga. That gives me hope.

 

[aknqtpie]

I am right there with you. I had a blighted ovum, and it took my doctors 3 months before I finally convinced them that I needed a D&C (I was bleeding the whole time.. it was horrible). Due to unforseen circumstances, I was not able to start trying again until two months ago (almost a year from when my due date would of been).. and I am terrified that because the doctors took so long to do the D&C that there might be something wrong with me.

I think it is a natural fear.

 

[mjemma]

Yes, I fear this completely. I took us 2 years ttc our son and this time I was lucky enough to get pregnant without trying. I was so happy but now I am scared that was our one lucky shot and now we will have to go through the whole infertility process again which I struggled with so much.

 

[Pixiedust22]

Wow bleeding for 3 months, that's awful!

 

[Mrs W 11]

I feel the same way too. I've been ttc for 6 months since my mmc and I'm feeling really panicky now that I won't get pregnant again. I don't know what to do or where to turn

 

[kbrannon28]

I'm new to the group. I've been an onlooker of forums for a while and never had the courage to speak my concerns.

I've lost two beautiful angels due to ectopic pregnancies. My doctor told me after the second loss (because I now only have one active tube) that my chances are extremely low. I have the biggest desire in the world to be a mom though so I refuse to believe that. Its been 4 years since my last loss. Do y'all think I should seek a specialist or will it happen when its right?

I'm recently engaged and we both want a baby soon.. I don't want to let him down by not being able to give him one.

 

[Pixiedust22]

Have you been trying for the past 4 years? If so maybe you should think of seeing a specialist? It seems like lots of people get pregnant on clomid and the like.

 

[aknqtpie]

kbrannon - Usually if you don't succeed in the first year, you should see a specialist, or at least start looking at options. I am surprised your doctor hasn't referred you to anyone since you have had two ectopics.

 

[babyjan]

I feel like this all the time! I conceived LO on 2nd try I think, it happened so quick but this time I had one depo shot back in November 2012, AF returned August 2013 and nothing happened till April just gone where I got a BFP and didn't even know I was pregnant as my 'period' arrived on time, the bleeding continued and it was confirmed I had an early loss! It's been 2 months since and nothing!


So scared it won't happen again

 

[kbrannon28]

I haven't been consistently trying. My ex and I were together for 3 years for the last 1.5 or so we did the " not trying but not preventing" the guy I'm with now we've been trying for about 3 months. More so within the last month or so. I currently don't have a doctor because I haven't been in this state long and do not have insurance. are their options for situations like that?

 

[tootyfruity]

I am right there with you. I had a blighted ovum, and it took my doctors 3 months before I finally convinced them that I needed a D&C (I was bleeding the whole time.. it was horrible). Due to unforseen circumstances, I was not able to start trying again until two months ago (almost a year from when my due date would of been).. and I am terrified that because the doctors took so long to do the D&C that there might be something wrong with me.

I think it is a natural fear.

I was just reading through this thread and came across your post, I had a very similar experience last year although I didn't have a d&c it happened naturally 4 months after I found out about the blighted ovum! I was going to the hospital regularly but a scan wasn't showing much so they wouodnt do a d&c, I think it's discusting we had to wait so long and I truly think it's effected me physically and emotionally x