Fed up of being used, am I overreacting?

[Amy89]

Not baby related, but could do with some advice plz, sorry for the long story in advance....basically, I've got very few friends in my city, because I like to have a handful of close friends and varying circumstances have meant that a lot of my friends have moved away bar two. My best friend lost her job about 2 years ago & I helped her financially, as well as paid for nights out for us both etc. She lived with a family member who she fell out with in November, and we (OH and I) opened our home to her and let her live with us for a month. That month turned into two and we agreed that she'd pay us once she got a job. She got a job in Feb, paid us, and moved out into her own place. Since she's moved out and got herself financially stable, I've barely heard from her, I always try and make plans for us but I very rarely get to see my friend any more. She is either too busy, too hungover, or cancels at the last minute (or even after we're due to meet up). I've spoke to her about it before and get rubbish excuses, then I feel bad because she says I'm like her sister and she'd do anything for me, and how dreadful she feels about being such a shitty friend (her words, not mine). Last time, we had a huge row because I felt like I was just being used, and she said she'd make more of an effort. Since then, I've seen her once (and even then she bought her latest boy toy round), and today she promised to come to my house and help me flea bomb, as I'm pregnant and can't - she offered to do this and told me not to do it myself yesterday as I wanted to, but to wait for her because she didn't think the fumes would be safe for me, but after ringing and texting her, she told me she's too hungover and will 'see if she can manage the 30 second walk' to mine. I told her not to bother and that I'll do it myself...am I right to be pissed?
I've said before I don't want to be the centre of her attention, but I try and contact her to make plans at least once a week, and I don't hear from her for months on end. I think I'm finally done with it, it's too much stress to worry about why my friend doesn't seem to like me since she moved out of our house. Please no nasty comments, I'm not being purposely selfish or seeking attention from her, I'm just fed up of being treated like a mug when she needs me. Thanks xx

 

[Belle25]

She sounds rather immature and unreliable to be honest. That's not what you need.

Your not overreacting. I think your at different stages of your lives. Your becoming a mum, she's busy getting hungover.

Xx

 

[calm]

She doesn't seem a friend at all, you are not overreacting one bit

 

[hakunamatata]

I don't think you're overreacting, she seems to be all about the taking instead of the giving

 

[Amy89]

Thanks girls I guess I'm just a bit of a loss, since all my university friends have gone back to their home towns, I'm really the only one who stuck around & I don't want to cut off my nose to spite my face, so to speak, by intentionally dropping a friend...but on the other hand, I've not got much to lose other than the occasional session of her talking about herself too much, and being let down constantly! She's meant to be planning my shower, but I bet that never materialises - every time I see her she says "Oh, I still haven't even thought about your shower yet!".
I think I'm just going to let to fizzle out & leave it. I'm going to aquanatal and some other stuff too, so hopefully I can make some friends who are closer to where I am in life.
It sucks

 

[calm]

Making friends at the antenatal sounds a great idea

 

[sarahfh]

I wouldn't say you are over reacting at all, I would be upset too. Especially about the shower too.
It sounds like you are both at different points with different priorities, aqua natal sounds like a good place to meet new people. I would imagine baby groups might be good for you to meet people too

 

[littletobyj]

I think it's very natural for friendships to strain when you are at different points in your life! I mean if this were the case with a partner of course you would go separate ways. Although I know friends are different I have been in a similar situation. I am sure you will naturally find new friends that are in a similar position and have much more in common with you.

 

[TwilightAgain]

Not at all, i'd be well miffed off about that! You don't need people like that in your life. I had unreliable people, makes you not want to be excited about your plans etc because you're always waiting for them to cancel.