Fed Up

[BrokenfoREVer]

I am fed up of listening to my friends bitching about how hard it is when their OH won't do night feeds. Or won't do this that or the other.

I really wanna shake them & be like Hello.... I've had 3 nights off in 6 months. I've done every single night feed. I've done bloody everything! My family only want to help with the nice easy bits.

6 days out of 7 my mother comes over & winds my son up before bedtime & then leaves me with a screaming over tired mess of a baby.

I really do get sick & tired of hearing people complain about their OH's. Sometimes I think they don't know how much easier they have it & sometime I just think 'well leave him them, its gotta be easier than putting up with that'

Ugh. Sorry I'm just in a bad mood tonight. I don't mean any offense to anyone

 

[MommaAlexis]

My best friend had a OH who sat on his ass all day and helped maybe once or twice. So she was expected to clean up after him 24/7 and get no help with LO, with a c section. He caused more mess then anything else and did nothing to help out. When they broke up I was soooo glad. He wouldn't take the trash out because "she stays home all day". ..She had had a C section two weeks before. Not allowed to do heavy lifting. He expected her to do everything for him and LO while he sat around. He worked PART TIME. 20 hours a week. It was utterly ridiculous. I only know this because I stayed there a lot to help her because he wouldn't help her. So, although people with unreasonable expectations are annoying, it's not always the case. If you looked at his side of the story, why would he clean/take the garbage out when she was home with LO all day? The other side of the story.. She just had major surgery and he only worked part time.

 

[CaptainMummy]

Its hard eh?
I was with FOB until Paige was 13 months, and I did 99% of the night feeds. I moaned about it too! I think its different as when you are with someone, you EXPECT them to do more, and when they dont... it can get quite frustrating.
It is definitely harder being a single mum, but at least you're not getting let down by someone you are relying on for help. I take my hat off to you though, as since we split, we have shared custody of LO, so I DO get a break.. I cant imagine how much hard work it must be for you! Well done hun xxx

 

[Dezireey]

Yeah I think sometimes some women can be no better off being a single mother than with a partner. Some men do not help out one bit until the kid reaches college age! It's the usual stuff, like 'I can't get up and feed the baby, I have work in the morning, you don't etc, etc'. I used to think, fair cop, maybe the bloke has a point, what with the mum being home all day but now I have a little one I realise that a) the only time I have spare to do any housework is when baby sleeps for his two hour stints (not much gets done once he wakes up for another hour or two!) and b) in the beginning, you are bloody knackered and need his nap times to catch up on sleep yourself!. So being a Mum alone at home is definitely hard work!

My sister in law needs a kick up the ass though. My brother is wonderful with their 8 month old, he gets up to feed him, is the only one who changes him when he is not in work, takes him out all the time to give her a break and the way she speaks to him sometimes I want to strangle her. Some women don't appreciate what they have in a man, rare to find any man willing to help out so much with a young babba.

 

[Jade--x]

I know how you feel! My friends that had babies lived with parents still or had their OH their - My OH lives in an RAF base so I did everything alone and I did it completely alone with my 1st too. And there's my friends moaning about how hard it is to look after 1 baby with an OH that refuses to change nappies or wouldn't let them have a lie in or refused to get up in the night.

I can see why it would piss them off..They've got someone there to help and they just don't and us mums on our own just get on with it but it really is like..Really? You're going to moan to me about how hard your life is? How would you last half an hour in mine? x

 

[Lissa3120]

my friend had her 2nd baby 3 weeks after i had mine, she's still with her OH and to be fair on him, he's one if the good ones, he does a lot... even the night feeds and early mornings. yet my friend still moans that it's all so difficult, 2 kids is so hard etc.

i agree, it is hard, and everything she moans about i'm like yeah i feel like that too.
but what really irritates me about it is, her eldest is at school 5 days a week, and then both her kids stay at her mum's most fridays and other days during the week... and her OH does at least 50% of the care and housework...
i dont take that away from her, that it's hard... but really? she doesnt have it that hard right now... i haven't had a night off in well over 6 months, i do all the night feeds, all the early mornings, all the house work, i get my daughter to nursery on the one day she has it...

but that being said, i do prefer being a single mum, because at least im only cleaning up after the 3 of us, and taking care of the 2 of them... my ex was like another 2 children, the mess and the constant nagging for him to do something... so i dont complain about it all the time. but when people bitch to me about their OH or how hard they find it... i dont take it away from them that they find it hard, we're in different situations... but im still like "look who youre talking to... i dont even know how to sleep any more..."