feel alone. like no one truely understands

[lbm2009]

i have been ttc for three years, and cannot talk to anyone about it, my mum just says it will happen when it happens, that really isnt helping me i feel so emotional right now. i dont really want to talk to my friends about it and find it hard to discuss it with people who have children because they cannot see it from my point of view

Ive basically been told by my doc to loose some weight and come back. BUt to be honest i dont have the motivation, its almost like ive been drained and theres no go left in me to try,

my husband has had one semen analyis come back insufficent and i think hes too scared to go back.

Im freightened of all the tests we have to go through and i feel like we may never have the chance to have a child of our own.

We have been together 11 years and have been married 3.5 years, im 26 and and really ready to may our family complete.

my husband is at work and i needed to release some tension, ive cried for about half an hour and feel a bit better. The would feel so raw im surrounded by people having babys and feel hopeless and like a failiure.

 

[SmileyKez]

Aww Hun, you are not alone, not on here! I'm sure you will find lots if girls on here in a similar situation who can give advice and encouragement, I know it's helped me!

I've been ttc for almost 2 yrs now with no success! I didn't want to face Drs etc but I did and I'm glad I did and feel like I have taken back control! I think you just need to find a little bit of positivity again and take back control! If the Dr won't help until you have lost some weight, maybe that's the first step, if you have lost all motivation then just think of what you could achieve in the end, make that your motivation! My hubby was the same and hates dr's for anything, never mind something so personal but with a little encouragement he went for tests! Just remember that there us so much doctors can do these days, even if his tests weren't great, it's not the end of your dream of a baby!
I'm sending you lots of baby dust and hope that you get as much pma and support from the forum as I have! x

 

[kidloco1]

Is there any chance you could see a different doctor. We've been trying just over a year but when we went the other day, the doc was brilliant and took blood from me straight away as i was early in my cycle and he is sending hubby for SA. I know it's really scary and I'm dreading going back for the initial results but I feel much better as I feel I have more control over the situation. I think it's disgusting that your GP is not more understanding - maybe you should try booking in with someone else.

Big hug to you x

 

[danielle1987]

Aw hun, I know how daunting it can all be, me and oh been trying for almost 3 years, we have had all the fertility tests done by fertility clinic, and everything has come back clear, basically told us, you'se are both young and healthy and it will just take some time, I have had 2 mc's in the time we have been trying, Please do not give up hope, hard at times I know, and push to get some sort of referral to fertility clinic, thats what we pay tax's for hun.

Good luck and take care. xxx

 

[Helen76]

Hi,

Hopefully you'll get lots of support from people on here who do know what you're going through.

I understand how hard it is with your mum, mine's the same. She got pregnant very easily with 4 children so has no idea what it's like and so I get the usual 'just relax and it will happen' - grrrrr.

I think I also know where you're coming from with the weight issue. I'm overweight but not so much as to stop treatment but I've read lots of stuff about eating the right foods etc. I want to have a baby more than anything but I don't know what happens to my hormones during the 2 week wait but I find it really hard to eat healthily and not give into my cravings which then makes me feel guilty so I eat worse and the cycle goes on.

Anyway just wanted you to know you're not alone.

Thinking of you,
H xx

 

[lbm2009]

thanks for you kind support, im going to change doctors to one thats just opened and its a 8 til 8 place that includes weekends so i think i may be able to get more regular appointments and work it into my work schedule, im not fond of leaving work early to go to the doctors as no one knows im ttc at work and i would like to keep it that way

 

[Blue12]

goodluck... you are definitely not alone.

 

[Tor81]

Hiya, please don't feel alone. I know what its like in the "real world" but this forum is a godsend as everyone is in a similar boat.

Great news that you've found a new doctor, especially with such great opening times. Taking time off work is so awkward, I had to take half a day for my first hospital appointment but used it as annual leave so didn't tell work but don't have enough holiday to do that every time & I know next cycle I need to have bloods taken on CD3, CD21 & will be going in for an HSG soon, plus the follow up appointment in a few months. And I'm starting Clomid so if I get side effects from that work will wonder whats going on with me!

Anyway, please say strong as you'll need the motivation to keep going, and with PMA you WILL get there.

Keep us updated. x

 

[holls147]

Me and my DH are in mid- later 20's, been trying for nearly 3 years with no results. We fit and healthy, I have regular cycles. I just don't know what could be wrong and because of that DH wont support going to any doctors. He just thinks it will happen, like a freaking stork is just going to drop a baby off at our front step. Meanwhile, literally all of my girlfriends have fallen pregnant and had babies. My sister inlaw has #2 on the way. It's sooooooooo frustrating and I too feel like no one understands. It's almost hard to even be around a pregnant woman, my eyes just burn the whole time. It makes it so much more real that I can't have a baby =-( So basically you're not alone!

 

[PR&TR13]

You are definetly not alone! There are many of us unfortunetly in the same situation! I understand hearing other people talk about it like it's sooooo easy and completley understand how you feel about telling anyone. It's something so personal and so private. But definietly not alone.

Hang in there, specially now with going to a new doc. Keep us posted.

 

[lbm2009]

i know exactly what you mean about the burning eyes, im surrounded by people having babies and the want is so bad it hurts

 

[Deb111]

Just wanted to send you big hugs

We're heading for ICSI - if they find any sperm when hubby has his SSR op having being diagnosed with azoospermia. I need to lose another 21lbs before they will do the ICSI and I just can't shift it at all. It's like the last 2 years TTC and tests has sucked all my motivation. I feel like I don't have the strength anymore.

I should be doing everything I can to lose it because otherwise I will be holding up the ICSI and at nearly 37, I don't have the time to delay things, but something's stopping me.

I think maybe part of it is protecting myself in case they don't find any sperm, but also think a large part of it is because I'm so scared of the treatment and procedures.

I really do feel that unless you're going through all this, you can't truly understand it and as the others have said, this forum has been invaluable to me, so keep using it

If you want a weight loss buddy, let me know

Wishing you all the best xx

 

[Emmakinkybear]

I to am another in the same boat...

Although we have only been trying for 5 months, my DH has a low count and I am overweight. I have been taking orlistat tablets to help me with the weight loss. These are from the DR. Maybe its worth having a chat about something like that with the DR. I unfortunatley have a disibility with one of my legs and so cant do that much exercise. I will try anything I can to improve my chances of pregnancy..But its bloody hard work!!

You are so not alone

xx

 

[jaykay]

i have been ttc for three years, and cannot talk to anyone about it, my mum just says it will happen when it happens, that really isnt helping me i feel so emotional right now. i dont really want to talk to my friends about it and find it hard to discuss it with people who have children because they cannot see it from my point of view

Ive basically been told by my doc to loose some weight and come back. BUt to be honest i dont have the motivation, its almost like ive been drained and theres no go left in me to try,

my husband has had one semen analyis come back insufficent and i think hes too scared to go back.

Im freightened of all the tests we have to go through and i feel like we may never have the chance to have a child of our own.

We have been together 11 years and have been married 3.5 years, im 26 and and really ready to may our family complete.

my husband is at work and i needed to release some tension, ive cried for about half an hour and feel a bit better. The would feel so raw im surrounded by people having babys and feel hopeless and like a failiure.

Ahhh, hun you are really not on your own. It can be a very lonely journey, I know, but there are lots of women here in similar positions to you. I was scared of going for tests, and also scared of how my dh would react to having tests. But I'm glad I took that step, it made me feel more positive, and the people at the clinic are very helpful and understanding.
I've also got to lose some weight before having IUI treatment. I joined slimming world which has helped motivate me, and everytime I feel like giving up, I say baby, baby, baby to myself to remind me of my goal, and it keeps me going.

Good luck to you xx

 

[Bena]

Hi, i know exactly how you feel. My mum always says the same to me and dont think she knew how much my situation was upsetting me until i burst into tears last week on the phone! I have also got to loose weight before i can start iui and completely understand about the lack of motivation when we are feeling like this. I have been to the gp today and she has prescribe me xenical to help with my weight loss, so the diet has started again! Xenical are proven to really accelerate weight loss so maybe you could ask your doc about this. x x

 

[Emmakinkybear]

Hi,

I to have been given orlistat (xenical) from the dr for weightloss. The do work, but god help your belly for the 1st week or so!!!! They really make you learn whar has lots of fat in it. The make you loose 1/3 of the fat your intake and when you go to the loo (sorry to be so blunt).

Best of luck

 

[MariaF]

Oh honey! I so understand how you are feeling!

I've been in tears all evening after a phone call with Mum she knows we've been trying a year and all I had to go through.

She knows I don't ovulate and without drugs my cycles are 4+ months...but she DOESN'T understand!!!! She still says just relax and I'm sure it'll happen without any drugs!! Grrrrrrr!!!! How will it happen, when I don't ovulate, Mum?!?!?!?!

She thinks because she fell pg after 1st sex with my Dad I should be the same! So she totally doesn't understand why I burst into tears about ttc.

You are not alone hon. It's just the biggest trial that life's putting us through and we must win it! I hope you find a new Dr who's more helpful.xxx