Feel horrible :(

[MumToBe2012]

Well because of me acting irresponsibly last year, I got pregnant by an idiot. When I told him I was pregnant at the beginning of November he tried to force me to have an abortion and said he wanted nothing to do with the baby. I haven't spoken to him since. I made the decision to tell his parents because I felt they had a right to know and felt I owed it to my baby to tell them so they could make the choice themselves whether they wanted to be a part of the baby's life or not.

Well today I went to his house and it was just his dad there. I felt awful because his dad didn't get angry at all and seemed really nice. He was really shocked (because shock horror FOB didn't tell his family about the baby) and actually looked like he was gonna cry - it made me want to give him a hug and say sorry, because he's one of those people that make you feel sad when they look sad if that makes sense. He said they would help me in any way they could (though at the time I wasn't sure whether that was said because he wasn't sure what else to say) and I gave him my phone numbers.

I wasn't expecting to hear from them again, especially not today, but I got a call from FOB's mum earlier and she seemed really nice and said that she really wants to be a part of the baby's life. She told me that FOB didn't want to speak to me or my family.. in other words not wanting to see the baby still when she's born. (What a shock lol just FOB being at mature as ever at nearly 23 years of age). His mum said that she thought he was just scared and that he wasn't saying much. Anyways she wants to meet me and my parents and should be doing this weekend.

It just got me thinking... how can two nice people produce such a horrible son like that?! Who's had a happy childhood and no reason to be such an idiot.

Just my little rant lol.. feel so guilty at the sudden changes his family are going through because of mine and FOB's irresponsibility. Felt like I was telling my own parents again especially as she wanted to know why I hadn't told them sooner.

 

[peapod11]

That is so nice that his family want to be involved, and mayb having them
Being so supportive might bring FOB round! I lives with my ex and his parents for 4yrs and when falling pregnant they asked me to leave and that was that, haven't heard from them since! I don't need to question where FOB gets his attitude from lol!
Xx

 

[Dezireey]

Was he spoilt rotten by them and they do a lot for him now? Sometimes having parents that are super nice and spoil their child don't produce a horrible son per se, just a guy that still thinks he's a little boy and doesn't want to ever grow up andc throws a tantrum if he doesn't get his own way.

You may find when he gets older and wiser that he comes around or even sees the reality of the situation when the baby actually arrives. It gets on most womens nerves but a lot of men do suddenly want to get involved when they actually see the little person in front of them. If his parents want to get involved, he will eventually see his child in one way or the other or he will be in danger of being estranged from them.

 

[BadassMom]

That's awesome their being supportive and want to be involved!! Maybe that will make FOB come around, if not your little girl will still have two more grandparents who are involved in her life. I think you made a good decision telling them.

 

[MumToBe2012]

peapod11: Honestly don't know where my FOB gets his attitude from, seeing as his parents are actually nice loll.

Dezireey: You know I was actually thinking that.. I always got the impression he was like a 'golden child' so it wouldn't surprise me.. just feels that at 22 nearly 23, he should be growing up and actually like an adult.. if/when he ever does that, I think I'll throw a party lol.. and yeah with his parents supporting me, he'll probably come round eventually, it's hard not to when he lives with them

BadassMom: Me too, feel lucky that they aren't horrible, but at the same time feel guilty for having to put nice people through this

 

[xAmiixLouisex]

I hope it works out for you and his parents stick around and make good grandparents. But, be optimistic until you meet his mom face to face.

I was in the exact same situation, I could have written the thread myself. FOB's mother was so lovely. Then when I told her I was pregnant, she cried. Wanted to be involved, was really sorry for her sons behaviour. Blah blah. Arranged to meet up and she'd become a different person over night. She tried for a good 45 minutes to convince me to have an abortion. She went on about her son not being ready. Him being too young. Us not being in a relationship. Yeah, a load of crap tbh. When the time come for her to leave (which trust me couldn't come quick enough) she said "I'm really sorry, But I will be stickin by his decision because at the end of the day he is my son.... I'll be in touch". That was 6 months ago.

She has since asked a mutual friend about me once, asking how me and the baby are and is everything ok. Deep down I think she does want to be involved and she does care. But feels it's her duty to stand by her son. Which as a mother I guess it is. Also her duty to teach him about responsibilitys but we wont get into that.

As I said, I hope it all works out.
Good luck, hopefully they can make him see sense :] x

 

[Dream.dream]

im in the same boat. my sons grandparents are very nice people but his dad is a doorknob and horrible. sometimes i think that its not the parents fault and that some people are just selfish. Even if the baby's dad isnt around its good his paretns are willing to be supportive.

 

[MumToBe2012]

I hope it works out for you and his parents stick around and make good grandparents. But, be optimistic until you meet his mom face to face.

I was in the exact same situation, I could have written the thread myself. FOB's mother was so lovely. Then when I told her I was pregnant, she cried. Wanted to be involved, was really sorry for her sons behaviour. Blah blah. Arranged to meet up and she'd become a different person over night. She tried for a good 45 minutes to convince me to have an abortion. She went on about her son not being ready. Him being too young. Us not being in a relationship. Yeah, a load of crap tbh. When the time come for her to leave (which trust me couldn't come quick enough) she said "I'm really sorry, But I will be stickin by his decision because at the end of the day he is my son.... I'll be in touch". That was 6 months ago.

She has since asked a mutual friend about me once, asking how me and the baby are and is everything ok. Deep down I think she does want to be involved and she does care. But feels it's her duty to stand by her son. Which as a mother I guess it is. Also her duty to teach him about responsibilitys but we wont get into that.

As I said, I hope it all works out.
Good luck, hopefully they can make him see sense :] x

Yeah I thought about that, but to be honest I've talked briefly to his mum on the phone and she's talked to my mum, and I really don't think it's going to come down to that. I mean she can't really tell me to have an abortion when I'm 21 weeks now and she's already talked about the future and opportunities to get FOB to bond with the baby and his sister really wants to be involved as well. I'll see her on Wednesday anyways.

 

[MumToBe2012]

im in the same boat. my sons grandparents are very nice people but his dad is a doorknob and horrible. sometimes i think that its not the parents fault and that some people are just selfish. Even if the baby's dad isnt around its good his paretns are willing to be supportive.

I know, makes me wonder how nice people can produce a selfish and horrible child. But I'm just happy that it seems my little girl will have contact with the paternal side of her family, she deserves as much love in her life as possible.