Feel like a failure

[Aidan's Mummy]

So I was talking to my friend today and I told her why I didnt carry on breastfeeding aidan when he was born. I said I didn feel comfortable and it hurt and I just didnt feel like it was me if ya get me. I just didnt like it. She came out with " It's not about you, its about giving your child the best start in life, my little girl is walking she was breastfed, aidan isnt and he wasnt breastfed, marked difference already"



I just didnt like it but now I feel like I have failed him
xx

 

[honey08]

dont be silly if u dont feel comfy neither wud aiden hun i cudnt do it either but i defo dont beat myself up over it morgans healthy and happy x

 

[Plumfairy]

You shouldnt feel like that at all, and that was a horrible thing of your friend to say. Atleast you can say you tried it and it wasn't for you. And as Honey said, if you weren't comfortable with it then Aidan probably wasnt either. You made the right decision for YOU and thats all that matters. xxx

 

[moomin_troll]

id of slapped the cow.

i only bf for the first week as i was in too much pain so it wasnt doing any good for our bonding plus zane took to bottles so much better and hes a bright, happy and very clever so if shes even suggesting ff babies dont do better then she shud try telling that to me.

i often feel bad for not carrying on with bf but its not best for everyone.

my mil tried to make me feel like crap for not carrying on saying i didnt try hard enough, well she wasnt there when i was in tears trying to feed him so screw her n screw the person who said that to u x

 

[Lisa1302]

oooh what a silly thing for her to have said!!!
Formula babies can be just as different, my sister (all those years ago!) was walking at 9 months on formula...yet Izzy is that age now and has had formula since 1 month and cant even crawl.

If she doesnt know enough about babies to know they all develop at different stages then she really should keep her hurtful comments to herself.

I bet Aidan is better at other things than her baby, every baby has things they do soon and things they do later.

I have to say too - I was just like you, it just wasn't me, I tried for 4 weeks, and when it became a struggle (not enough milk) I found the part of me that didn't like doing it over taking the side of me that wanted to persevere...and it was the best thing we did cos I was happy and so Izzy was happy!

 

[rubyrose]

What a load of old rubbish! Dont listen to your friend hun me and my brother are living proof not all breast fed babies are the best and most forward at everything and have the least health probs! I was breast fed and i learned to walk slower than my brother and i have quite a few health probs and my bro has none and was formula fed!! x

 

[polo_princess]

Theres no accounting for idiotic people hun just laugh them off

 

[Vickie]

don't listen to her babies will develop on their own time and some babies walk earlier than others, regardless of how they were fed

 

[Lu28]

That's a ridiculous thing to say, some stupid people just don't know when to keep their bigs mouths shut You're doing a great job, please try to ignore these kinds of comments from so called friends

 

[Mum2b_Claire]

OMG! What an awful thing to think let alone say! That has made me feel cross, do NOT feel you have failed your son

 

[flower01]

thats absolutly ridiculas and what a hurtful thing to say!!
you havent failed him at all!
i tried breastfeeding just to see what it was like and i wish i was some kind of supermum and could of carried on but it just wasnt me at all.

little one is happy on formula and it gives my hubby the opportunity to feed her also so she bonds with him too!

id ignore her comments and carry on, if your little one is happy then thats all that matters!

xxxxxx

 

[genkigemini]

Your friend is an idiot!

I tried breastfeeding and always told myself that if I did not like it, I would FF and not think twice. Well, I personally really liked it but if I hadn't, I would have done exactly as you did. A happy Mum = a happy baby. You did what was right for you. Do not let anyone else make you feel bad about that.

 

[Vici]

That is one of the most absurd things i have ever heard!! And she calles you her friend?!!! Do not think you have failed him hun, you really haven't!!

If we're going by that theory my neice was FF and walked at 10 months, yet her friend BF her LO and he wasn't even crawling at 11 months!!

What a dimwit!!!

 

[Kit]

Well here's something to tell her. We go to an allergy clinic because of OH's multiple allergies - LO is high risk so taking part in a clinical trial of special formula. This is a long running international trial and is looking at how much breastfeeding reduces the incidence of certain allergies, asthma etc. The provisional findings are that bf in the early days may have an effect, but not as big an effect as they thought it might, and that they don't yet have evidence that ongoing bf reduces these health problems.
What she said is sheer ignorance - if the positive effects of breastfeeding were that obvious then there wouldn't be any debate about it!

 

[lyre]

ignore her, she's obviously got her own issues x

 

[philly_bear24]

You must NOT feel like you have failed him. Seriously I have ended up developing PND and stopping breastfeeding was what started it as I felt like a failure. I now realise how daft I was to think that but I still can't shift the PND...she is just trying to make you feel bad by saying that but it is completely untrue!

 

[elly75]

Please don't feel like a failure at all because you're not! The most important thing is that the little one is getting fed and thriving.

Like you, I was told the same sort of thing and felt like a failure because of it. I think it was also part of the bigger issue which lead to PPD. However, with lots of help and support from the ladies in the forums and some support here at home, there's light at the end of the tunnel.

There will always be people who will say one way is better but then there will be other folks who say the opposite. Plus, you'll have various studies trying to prove that one is better than the other. Again, all that matters is that healthy mommy = healthy baby (and vice versa).

 

[letia659]

I was formula fed and crawled at 5months and walked at 9months so how a baby is fed is nothing to do with their development...Im combination feeding and when I give him formula I still feel hes getting exactly what he needs its not anything to feel like a failure about I ff my 5yr old from 4 weeks on and hes so smart and I dont feel bad about it I was young and didnt feel it was for me at the time like you I felt uncomfortable doing it and it hurt like crazy this time around it is different for me and I am loving BFing but if I didnt I would not feel bad about going to full FFing

like others say if your not comfortable the baby is probably not because when I tried BFing my now 5yr old for a month and decided to go to only FFing I could tell a big difference in how he acted and I was much happier too so in a way I wished I would have decided to go to FF sooner than I did...he hadnt been gaining weight like he should and wasnt even at his birth weight at a month but once he got formula all the time he gained perfectly

 

[Boony]

my son was formula fed from 3 days old he slept through the night from day 1 (we had to wake him during the night for a feed!!) and he was walking at 11 months! All babies are different!

 

[Raven24]

dont feel like a failure my midwife told me something she said you cant do wrong by your baby because to him everything you do is perfect because he has nothing to compare it to and this made me feel better when i decided to express instead of breast feeding. you cant do something if it is making you miserblae because it would make your baby miserable too and your friend should be a bit more sensitive and with regards to the walking my sister was walking at 10 months and was bottle fed from day one so she is talking rubbish. xx