Feel like giving up

[Miracle2014]

Hi Ladies,
I was diagnosed with PCOS when I was 17 (now 27). DH and I have a handsome 2 year old son. We have been trying for over a year for #2. I have been on Clomid and Metformin the whole time. I am just tired of seeing and/or hearing pregnancy announcements. I know that I shouldnt feel like this, but I am just so emotionally drained.

We are waiting for the results of my husband's Semen analysis and if that is ok then I will have a HSG done (I pray I dont have to). To top things off, my bitchy SIL just gave birth to a gorgeous baby girl. When I say bitchy, I mean "Mean Girl Bitchy". I just feel like that shouldve been me and DH. I am just tired!

 

[tinadecember]

sending you big hugs. We've been trying now for baby number 2 for 9 months with no success and have just found out that my hubby has a low sperm count and low motility, currently feel like we've hit a brick wall and are waiting on an appointment for the infertility clinic.

It's horrible isn't it because all you feel like you see are scan pictures, pregnancy announcements and pregnant people! xxx

 

[Miracle2014]

Tinadecemeber
Thank you for responding . All I see is pregnant women ugh! The results of my husband SA shows that he is actually good. So it's me

 

[tommyg]

Hunny I know the feeling of it being me. TBH I think it's easier to deal with rather thank thinking it's your OH. HSG isn't too bad don't worry about it.
I've had 6 cycles of femara which is similar to clomid starting last July, one chemical pregnancy and a 2 mth break, now nearing the end of my last cycle, next step for me is the waiting list for IUI. But at least with PCOS you know what the issue is must be harder for the ladies who ovulate religiously every month who can't see why they aren't getting pregnant.

 

[WhiteOrchid24]

I know how you feel.....that's exactly how I feel today. After being 2 days late AF finally reared her ugly head this morning and I feel so deflated and sad. Last night I actually really started to think it might of happened but of course not. I don't know how much longer I can keep trying, it has been so long and nothing but disappointment.... Of course as soon as I went on FB this morning a friend from school had posted photos of his new baby boy who was born this morning....always great timing!!

Hope you are feeling better. Did you get your DH's SA results back? I am about to have an HSG done as well

 

[Bluebearmummy]

Hi we've been trying for #2 for 20 months with no luck! Each month is getting harder and harder! An I know exactly how you feel about pregnancy announcements it's so tough! I'm beginning to wonder what I've done wrong and why me �� really finding it tough at the moment x x x

 

[Dizzy dolly]

Aw big to all you ladies not been preg wen everyone else is honestly so deflating I said to my friend the other day I think life would be so much easier if you knew from before you started trying you would not have an easy ride xxx I'm so desp to be a mum and I no we've not been trying as long as some but it's the not knowing that drives me if someone said your gonna gonna struggle to have kids I'd be like right ok what else can I do instead you have to put ya self thought month after month of disappointment before a doc will even see you xxx

 

[tommyg]

Dizzy irregular cycles ment I knew before I started that having a family wouldn't be easy. However it really doesn't make the pain or the journey any less. I still carry hope even on a long wonky cycle. I dream my BFP is only 2 weeks away.
This is meant to be a medicated cycle, Currently CD42, not sure if I've ovulated or not, constantly looking for signs of ovulation, but there again I might already be in the 2ww. Your guess is as good as mine.
Knowing the journey isn't going to be easy really doesn't help, only decent thing about it is I've got good at my 7x table as I tend only ever to count weeks rather than days.

 

[JViti]

I know EXACTLY how u feel. I also have PCOS, as well as a clubbed left tube (useless now) and a blocked right tube. I did 5 clomid cycles, and an IUI cycle, all with BFNs. I felt like giving up too...many times. I still do sometimes. My SIL is 7 months preggo with her second that she only tried for like 2 months to get. I, on the other hand, have been trying for #2 for 4 years. I have a 7 yr old son, who i got pregnant with at 18...so why cant I have one now??

I am just starting my first IVF cycle today actually. Its day 1 of my cycle, and I am doing injectables. I am lucky that my state requires health insurance to cover infertility treatments including IVF. Without it, I would be stuck...completely.

HSGs are not as bad as people make them out to be. They hurt a little, but if u take tylenol or motrin about an hour before your appointment, it wont be as bad. Since you have been doing clomid with no luck, you may have a blocked tube. Do they monitor you when you are on the clomid? Do you use an OPK to find out when you are the most fertile? Sometimes that helps a lot. But I know all to well the horrid feeling of getting AF after you feel like it worked "this time." It feels like you lost a child..an imaginary child of course...but u still feel like your mourning the loss of the child that could have been,

I remember my last cycle on clomid...i didnt get my period on the day i was supposed to. I took a test...BFN. THen a week later, still no AF, took a test, BFN. I ended up never getting AF for that cycle...talk about a fucking tease (excuse my french). Thats when we decided I needed more intense and aggressive treatments.

I am keeping my fingers crossed for you!! Dont be afraid of the HSG, I have had 2 of them...there not too bad and you may get more answers which would lead to more help!!!

Baby Dust for you!!

 

[Dizzy dolly]

Dizzy irregular cycles ment I knew before I started that having a family wouldn't be easy. However it really doesn't make the pain or the journey any less. I still carry hope even on a long wonky cycle. I dream my BFP is only 2 weeks away.
This is meant to be a medicated cycle, Currently CD42, not sure if I've ovulated or not, constantly looking for signs of ovulation, but there again I might already be in the 2ww. Your guess is as good as mine.
Knowing the journey isn't going to be easy really doesn't help, only decent thing about it is I've got good at my 7x table as I tend only ever to count weeks rather than days.

Sorry I didn't mean anything with what I said just meant I didn't know if ttc wud b any easier if u knew what it would take before hand sorry again xx

 

[Miracle2014]

Thank you all for replying,
The results of DH's SA was great actually. I felt NO pain at all with the HSG. It did however prove that I had one tube that was 100% open and one tube that he wasnt sure about. SO now I am waiting on the nurse to call so we can start our IUI cycle. I am just so tired of all of this. I just want one more baby and Im done for good. I currently have a 3 year old

 

[tommyg]

Dizzy irregular cycles ment I knew before I started that having a family wouldn't be easy. However it really doesn't make the pain or the journey any less. I still carry hope even on a long wonky cycle. I dream my BFP is only 2 weeks away.
This is meant to be a medicated cycle, Currently CD42, not sure if I've ovulated or not, constantly looking for signs of ovulation, but there again I might already be in the 2ww. Your guess is as good as mine.
Knowing the journey isn't going to be easy really doesn't help, only decent thing about it is I've got good at my 7x table as I tend only ever to count weeks rather than days.

Sorry I didn't mean anything with what I said just meant I didn't know if ttc wud b any easier if u knew what it would take before hand sorry again xx

No worries I probably came across a bit snappy. I think I know what you were thinking / trying to say. The only decent thing about knowing from the outset of an issue is you don't waste time getting referred. But even at that you just don't know how the road is going to go I front of you. I was so sure that we'd need nothing more than clomid but 6 cycles with only one chemical it's hard to take.

Mirical glad the HSG went ok.

 

[JViti]

yeah, knowing ur gunna have a problem...im not sure its easier. Maybe you wont get your hopes up as much, but it also means you cant get your hopes up lol. Sometimes getting your hopes up and being excited for the outcome is part of the TTC fun for some people, but when u no u have trouble, its just like "yeah another wasted cycle." it sucks regardless, but i see what she was trying to say.

I go in tomorrow for blood work and ultrasound. This AF I currently have...holy hell. Its been 5 months since she visited so she making sure I didnt forget her, and that I dont ever forget her again lol