Feel like im slowly loosing my marbles =/

[lou_w34]

:

 

[lou_w34]

I just rung him... wish i didnt

Apparently its all my fault

How is it fair that i have done everything myself for the past 7 months, and now he wants to swan in and take over??

 

[teal]

Sending you hugs

It's really not fair thay they can swan in and out of our lives when they feel like it.

I would say to him that if he does want to contact you then just to text or email as it sounds like he is upsetting you too much on the phone and you really don't need that

xx

 

[lou_w34]

I have told him to just text or email, but whenever i say it, he accuses me of pushing him out. But if i do answer the phone i always end up in a state cos he thinks its funny to call me hormonal and tell me i bring it all on myself , ive never told him he couldnt see the baby, but now he's saying if i dont travel up too him im pushing him out, and he wont come to my house to see the baby either cos he's afraid of my parents (he's not aloud in their house at the mo cos of my dad, but im hoping that maybe the first visit tehy will allow it as i dont want to see him alone) But surely if he wanted to see her at all, then he would make the effort to come down to see her???

Your right its deffinatley not fair

 

[purpledahlia]

what!!

hes such an idiot!

Dont travel up if HE wants to come and see his child he can bloody well make some effort to do it!! What did he even want when he rang???
Tell him not to bother you when he has been drinking and if he has nothing nice to say to you then to say nothing at all.

 

[lou_w34]

He didnt really want anything, just to ask why i wasnt texting him back, so i said its because of the other times when he was horrible, and he just laughed it off and said im being over sensitive and he would let me off as he knows im hormonal right now??? Im not hormonal, im just pissed off and wanted to hit him!! heehee.

I said if he wants to see her, he cant see her alone as i dont trust him, to which he said fair enough, but he still wants me to travel to see him, i told him to jog on, but i think in his head he thinks he can get what he wants by shouting. I just dont think its reasonable to expect me to drive (if ive passed by then) or get the train, in winter with a newborn, with all of her things.

His parents still dont no about bubs, but now he's lying saying that they do no about her, and they dont care about her and dont want too see her. How nice of him to make that decision for them Least they cant blame me for it i guess.

MEN

 

[teal]

I agree that if he wants to see her then he should be making the effort to come to you. It's going to be a lot easier for him to get to you rather than you travelling with a newborn in the middle of winter!

Hopefully your parents will let him in the house to see the baby since that would be easier on you. If my ex just showed up once the baby was here I would need to have someone with me - I wouldn't be able to see him by myself.

xx

 

[lou_w34]

Im sure they will, but even if they dont, i wont mind too much as it is their house, so i dont expect them to let him in if they really dont want too. But the first time i meet him, ill just have to make sure i bring a friend. I know i need to stand on my own two feet, but i really cant face seeing him alone

 

[purpledahlia]

My FOB does the same, laughs things off and says its ok cos im hormonal... bloody men! Theyre so cheeky!!

Id just say to him, theres no way im getting a train with a newborn alone to see you, shes your child make some damn effort and come down here. book a hotel and stay the weekend. Then take someone to go meet him the first time, and then maybe the 2nd u'll be ok to go alone. He has to have some respect. for BOTH of you!
And who cares about his family. he can tell them lies but its HIM who will get hte short straw when his mum throws it in his face and tells him he was an idiot etc.

God they wind me up, x

 

[lou_w34]

I could have easily strangled him when he called me hormonal!! Its sooo cheeky and bloody rude!

Yeps, i know i wont need a friend to see him everytime, just the first time, and if it goes well it will give me more confidence to go alone next time

Ive decided im not gunna bother with his family anymore, i know he's lying and they dont no, but if they do actually no and im wrong, then i dont want them around her if thats what they are saying!

Yeps! Me too! Seems like they can run around doing what ever, but as soon as he contacts me, its stuck in my head for days! Grrrr

 

[xxannxx]

Under no circumstances should you be responsible to travel all that way with your LO, especially when just a newborn. If FOB wants to see her HE needs to make the effort and do the travelling, a baby needs its routine, especially during 1st few weeks, and you can't be expected to cart LO and all her stuff to see him.
I wouldn't speak to him on phone at all anymore, its upsetting you too much, and if communication is either by text or e-mail, it means you have written proof of what was discussed. My ex still accuses me at times of pushing him out, its just their way of trying to use LO to make you feel guilty, so you will do what they want, so don't listen to it.

 

[lou_w34]

Thanks
Its nice to no that other FOBs do it aswell, well not nice that they do it, but at least im not alone and others feel the same as i do.

I just get so annoyed that he accuses me of pushing him out, when i invited him to all scans and midwive appointments and he doesnt bother to turn up... yet somehow its still my fault

Im deff not answering the phone anymores, im just gunna get him to text/ email

xx

 

[teal]

I wonder what some of these FOBs are thinking most of the time! How can he think you're pushing him out when you've invited him to all the scans and appointments

It sounds like a good plan not to be answering the phone and just letting him text/email you. Will be less stresseful for you and your little one!

xx

 

[lou_w34]

That what i think!
I can do without his issues at the moment! If he wants to act all upset just for show for his friends then he can, he knows the truth. So he'll have to live with it.

My IS is finally comming through tomorrow, so i think i may go buy baby and me something special to cheer us both up heehee

 

[teal]

You're right he will have to live with it! I wonder about my ex sometimes - I just don't understand how he can walk away from his child. They'll regret it one day!

That's great news it's coming through tomorrow! Something for you and baby sounds good

Are you organised for your baby? I think I'm going to write out a list of essentials I'll need - things like how many sleepsuits I'll need etc. Either that or I'll take my mum shopping with me. Sometimes when I'm out I just feel a bit lost looking at all the clothes! xx

 

[lou_w34]

Ahwell, either they will regret it or they wont, either way, we will still be the most important people in our babies lives, and they cant take that away from us

Ummmm yeps, i think im all set nows! Im just waiting for my pram to come in, cos when i went to toys r us, they didnt have any in stock, so i have to wait for them to transfer one down for me from another store! I just need to get a few things in newborn size, as i dont have any! But i know what you mean about the clothes, its all so confusing! I just get over excited about how cute everything is, and want to buy it all! so my mums banned me from buying anything else, as she said scarlett wont wear it, and it will be wasted heehee.

Just my hospital bag to sort out now! It seems as soon as ive completed one thing, another thing comes up! haha

 

[purpledahlia]

same here, its one thing after another, ive still not done my birth plan tho!

 

[lou_w34]

Oh crap!
Youve just reminded me of another thing i have to do!
It needs to be done by tuesday aswell, as my midwife said shed look at it then for me!

 

[sweetlullaby]

FOB's are such asses!!! I wish we could just ship them all off somewhere and leave them there They really think they can do and say anything!

Dont travel up there on the train with a newborn expecially not in winter. I was with a friend today shopping with her LO (so cute ) and we got the train and its a nightmare trying to manage pram/newborn/all the stuff etc! And i was helping her! In full on winter it would be worse and on your own!

I hope it all turns out ok for ya!

i havnt done my birth plan either ...and i have an appointment with midwife on monday...should probably get it done for her to have a look at!xx

 

[Ash_P]

omg FOB`s can be such arses!! I get so annoyed when I hear about what they come up with, they all seem to be good at twisting things round, making us ladies sound like cows, and make them sound like the victims. PLONKERS!!
I certainly wouldnt be travelling anywhere to meet me, My ex lives 10 minutes away from me, and I have swore to him, Im not taking the baby to see him, if he wants to see his child he should want to travel thru hell and high water to see baby.
I wonder where their heads are some times. What about his family? do u think they have a right to know they are going to be grand parents or do u feel its best that u just stay away.

I know our situations are different, but MIL has been so supportive towards me, but I think its cause A. shes disgusted and ashamed of what her son has done on me, (she cant even bring herself to tell her friends that her son, choose someone else over his pregnant wife - so they all think we are still together) B. its her first grand child.

But whatever u do, ul be a great mummy, and baby will be exteremly happy, and FOB will be the one that suffers in the long run. xxx