Feel so low :-(

[lorraine35]

I have had four friends announce they are pregnant in the last month. I feel so jelouse when I find out and am finding it hard to feel happy for them. It is really starting to eat me up inside and all I feel like doing is crying at the moment. I am also worried about being invited to baby showers in spring/summer next year because I don't think I can deal with it.

We have been trying for 18 months to concieve now, we havn't told anybody so no one else knows. OH has been told he has low sperm count/mobility and we have been referred to a fertility clinic in February but feel it will never happen for us.

I am finding it hard to cope I dont want to see anyone who is pregnant because I feel my heart breaks again everytime I see them. How can I stop feeling like this it is really affecting my life.

 

[NavyWife84]

I wish I could say or do something to make you feel better. Unfortunately this is normal for us lttcers. You said that you are going to a fertility clinic soon. I am too. Although it is hard, I try to focus on the little milestones. Instead of being frustrated that this process is taking so long, I am trying to convince myself that it will all be worth it in the end. Each annoying step is a step closer to my baby. I hope that makes sense.
As far as preggo friends...I avoid them when I can. I have come to the realization that I have to put myself first. If going to a baby shower is ling to send me into a worse depression then I will just have to skip it...I will buy the gift online so I avoid babies, bumps, etc and they will get it in the mail.
I wish there was an easier way to get rid of the jealously but it is unfortunately normal. I am sending tons of hugs your way. Good luck with the ts and if you need a buddy on a similar stage of the journey, feel free to pm me or stalk my journal...I plan on writing in it more often when I get my computer out of the shop!

 

[wonderstars]

I wish I could give you some great advice about how to cope with it but unfortunately I'm going through the same thing. TBH, my coping mechanism is just not to be around pregnant women. It's worked pretty well.

Just wanted to let you know, you're not alone. This the reason I seem to be coming more and more to this board. It's the only place I know I'm not alone.



Edit:
Lol, I shoulda waited and just echoed Navywife. Same line of thinking.

 

[lorraine35]

Thank you. It has made me feel better that I am not the only one feeling like this and it doesn't make me such a bad person when I avoid pregnant friends.

We have been visiting the hospital since last June and after all the investigations it is only now that we got a referral to a consultant at the fertility clinic so I know we are still at the start of a pretty long road ahead.

Thanks again for replying x x

 

[Feb4th2011]

Hey Hun,:wave:
Sounds like you need a hug (((hug))). I wish you and your DH a happy and healthy 2012, and FX that your apt in Feb will get you one step closer to having your BFP.

 

[SunUp]

Oh, I feel that I could have said the same exact thing. I just keep telling myself that maybe I can be pregnant while they are pregnant? I'd just be a few months behind. Maybe its not realistic, and there DEFINITEY are days I don't believe it myself, but I convince myself that I cannot give up, because hope is one of the most important things in the world.
Hugs!

 

[justonexxx]

Ii completely understand..my sister has just given birth to baby number 4! yes number 4 !
I'll be happy if I an at least have one!!!
Been trying for 2 years!!!

 

[cooch]

You get to the point where you have to take yourself away from pregnant friends and family, sad but true. I have 2 recently announce (both unexpected) both saying I miss you, hope your ok. Very nice of them, but how the hell can I possibly be happy for those getting their 2nd babies when I'm struggling!!? Yes it sucks that I have kinda lost friends, but our lives are very different now and we have little in common.

Do what makes you comfortable x

 

[sjbno1]

just wanted to come in and give you a I know how it feels to have everyone just getting pregnant around you - every month someone is announcing there pregnant and i know how awful it can feel

 

[Wanting2BMom]

I feel like I am finally a part of a group that understand me and does not even know me. I am going through the exact same things. I have deleted friends off of facebook that constantly asked me about starting a family or friends that posted thier sonograms on facebook. It is so hard for becasue I work at a childcare center teaching 4 and 5 year olds but every day I walk in, I have to walk past the infant room and everytime I go to lunch I have to walk past. People at work constantly are saying "Don't you want to have kids" and "When are you gonna start a family" or "What are you waiting for?". All I can do is smile and laugh it off to keep myself from or snapping at them to mind their business, nut it is very hard to walk away from those comments unaffected. To those that can remain friends with people that get pregnant I applaude you. I do not think that I am at the place where I could do that. I know that God does not give us more than we can bare...but.......How much more can I take. My husband has been so supportive even at the fertility visits where all we hear is that there is no major reason why we should not be able to conceive on or own....So why hasn't it happened?

 

[sjbno1]

awww hun its so hard, i remember when ttc izzie i was walking around the shops and saw all these pregnant people and i just broke down as it was something i wanted so badly but couldnt seem to have my poor OH didnt know what to do its such a horrible feeling i'm forever shaking off the when are you going to have another baby thing, i laugh it off but really i just want to say - i've been trying! for over a yr! Now I just smile and wish people congratulations and just ignore it the best i can. Not fab advice but its what works for me.

I have no tips on ttc as i'm not very good at it either - but i must say that i fell pregnant when i was completely relaxed not thinking about it at all and tihnking i had no chance so no point thinking iykwim if the drs have said there nothing stopping you i'm sure it'll happen in time. Think positive hun x

 

[gegecomom]

This the reason I seem to be coming more and more to this board. It's the only place I know I'm not alone.

 

[longing]

I have just moved over to this board as we have been NTNP for 2 years and actually trying for over 2 years now, and am glad I am not alone too, feeling sooo down at the mo. And the questions, I constantly get asked by especially one guy at work when I am going to start a family and that I am getting on (nearly 30). Takes all my effort not to just hit him!!!! (I'm not usually a violent person!)

I see mums on school runs and feel so incredibly sad, I cant go into children sections in shops anymore. I cant avoid friends who are mums or pregnant as my best friends are in that situation and I love thier kids and am really happy for them, (especially one who is now preg and has had a real bad journey getting there) just get a pang of extreme sadness and a feeling we will never get it.

Anyways rant over, I am usually quite a happy person, honest.

 

[Wanting2BMom]

Today the showed her ugly head and I am feeling so empty and angry. I have a very supportive husband but at times I feel like I can't even share how I feel. I feel like I keep talking about this and he gets distant, but I know that it is just me. He asks me how I am doing, but I do not share with him all of the time. It hurts me to see him hurt although he doesnt show much in emotions. I really want to have a dont care attitude because it would just make it easier.