Feel so selfish.

[kintenda]

I generally make quite a point of not letting my negative feelings show. I smile for people, try to help, brush off my own problems, etc etc.

This makes me feel so selfish typing this.

One of our (OH & I) good friends has just had a baby girl, today. She is a year younger than me but we're very much on a level with the children issue - she knows I've been WTT & I was so pleased for her when she became pg. She's a wonderful person & her & partner are going to be a fantastic parents.



Whilst I'm so incredibly pleased for her (as I know she longed for children), the green eyed monster has cropped up with a vengance. Promised myself I wouldn't do this but I've just been crying. I'm jealous (although I don't begrudge her or her partner at all!!) and I just want to shout about it to OH. He just rang me from his work mobile to tell me he's late & he brought it up, I honestly had to fake a coughing fit because I felt myself choking up.

I know how pathetic that sounds, (& I try not to ask for sympathy) but please will someone just let me know that I'm not alone in these feelings.

Feeling ridiculous,
Kintenda x

 

[stargirl69]

I feel the same. I'm always truly happy for my friends but at the same time so jealous it's not me. Especially when they are younger and haven't been with their partner nearly as long! It's terrible, and there's no way I let anyone know though as it's not fair on them. I pretend to my friends that we're not ready yet for kids, but really I'm desperate for a baby!

 

[Sparky0207]

Hey honey, you're not alone at all. Ive got a gorgeous girl but I still get jealous when I see people with their newborns! It sounds so silly but I assure you we all feel like that sometimes

 

[xCherylx]

This sounds SO familiar! I work in a large supermarket and it seems that ALL pregnant woman and newborn babies only come in when I am there. I am surrounded by them and I can't help but look at them and think 'I hate you!!!!' lol even though I know I don't! It sounds so bad, I just want another one so bad. It doesn't help I am SO impatient lol!

 

[Catastrophe]

Only one of my close friends has had a baby but if I was in your position I'm sure I'd feel the same

 

[calm]

Yeps, I would be just the same, happy for them, but wanting for myself too, and probably 10 times more broody (that possible? )

 

[kintenda]

Cheers girls, I was struggling to vocalise how I was feeling so the support was really great, thankyou! Feeling better today coz spoke to the OH & he was brill
You're all lovely

 

[Pinkgirl]

Dont worry hun, i am sure lots of us here have felt the same if we were in a similar situation.
Surely your reaction proves to you how much you want a baby and how much you are ready to have a baby?
xx

 

[kintenda]

Hi Pinkgirl I agree with you - I saw some piccies of the new LO yesterday eve & although she is sweet, it wasn't like I wanted to scoop her up & take her away (as I know how great they will be as parents!!) but I wanted to be in their situation...
Have done lots of hard thinking & funnily enough I came to the same conclusion today - that I know what the OH & I are gonna get ourselves into, we both want it, are being sensible, & that we can start trying in Jan. So really I gotta look on the positive & like I said, would never begrudge them their child as they are lovely
Thanks girls!

 

[jadeemma79]

awww =[
your time will come soon enough hun =]
just think, her baby wasnt planned for, it just happened, atleast when you have a child, it wont be an accident.
i know its harsh on your friend, but it would make me feel better if i were in the same situation.

sorry i didnt get whether it was an accident or not?
7 months isnt that long hunnie =]

 

[kintenda]

They planned their baby too & got pg on first month! They're a lovely couple so I am really chuffed for them, just got frustrated that it wasn't me if you get the drift, but hopefully *crosses fingers* it won't take too long when we TTC

 

[honeybee2]

Hey hunny- try living in my situation; whenever I have REAL pregnancy symptoms, someone close to me is actually the one pregnant- its like Im having sympathy symptoms. The worst had to be after xmas, when I was vomiting, boobs HUGE and period late- went to doc, negative. My sister rings me up whilst walking home from the doctors- and guess what- shes pregnant! Two hours later- my period arrives!!! I've also had it with 3 of my closest friends and also... my biology lecturer!!!!! So ye I completely understand where your coming from!!! My sister is 22 weeks now, and keeps coming over to show me her new baby clothes and I have to hold back the tears and say " ye thats nice" and she was a little un-understanding when I told her to look at my preg test with a faint line on it- she said "its no pregnant, so just deal with it" - it was a false positive, its like... shes pregnant and she doesnt care that Ive got to wait and suffering for it! xx

 

[kintenda]

Hey hunny- try living in my situation; whenever I have REAL pregnancy symptoms, someone close to me is actually the one pregnant- its like Im having sympathy symptoms. The worst had to be after xmas, when I was vomiting, boobs HUGE and period late- went to doc, negative. My sister rings me up whilst walking home from the doctors- and guess what- shes pregnant! Two hours later- my period arrives!!! I've also had it with 3 of my closest friends and also... my biology lecturer!!!!! So ye I completely understand where your coming from!!! My sister is 22 weeks now, and keeps coming over to show me her new baby clothes and I have to hold back the tears and say " ye thats nice" and she was a little un-understanding when I told her to look at my preg test with a faint line on it- she said "its no pregnant, so just deal with it" - it was a false positive, its like... shes pregnant and she doesnt care that Ive got to wait and suffering for it! xx

Aw chicky, that really would suck big time! Feel for you. xx

 

[bigbloomerz]

Awww hun big for you, know how hard it is when you see your friends so happy and they have what u want but cant yet have.
Your not alone it happens to me a lot, and it does hurt, but remember one day you wont need to worry about it, and you will have your own little baby to make evryone else jealous with xx