Feel terrible

[Dream.dream]

My oldests dad sees him only every few month and hasn't ever been a parent to him .

My youngest dad raised my oldest for almost 3 years, we have a difficult situation because we are now not together but he's working to try and prove to me things are different . He comes to see both boys every weekend and pays for things for both of them whenever they need things .he came to my oldest school concert and parent teacher interviews and his doctors appointment

Well my Oldest yesterday told me he wants him to be his daddy too not just my youngests daddy.

It totally broke my heart and I feel terrible , I left my younges dad for very good reasons , but I still feel like in a way I took the only dad my son ever had . And I'm reluctant to let him start calling him dad because were not together and he could change his mind and have nothing to do with the oldest if he wanted .

Ugh I'm confused ladies .

 

[Mummy1995]

Aww that's heartbreaking and lovely at the same time . Honestly if your eldest doesn't see his dad then I see no issue with him seeing the other guy as his dad if he's gonna be sticking around. He's obviously a good male role model in his life if he feels that way. I'd personally allow him to call him dad if he wants to and it's ok with the guy. I'd rather he had some dad than none and felt left out? Just as long as he knew they weren't biologically related. Blood isn't everything in my eyes.

Hugs xx

 

[babycrazy1706]

 

[Dream.dream]

Thanks guys .

I'm just worried because since he has no biological or legal obligation to him he could walk out and my son will lose another male figure .

I don't know whether he's only being involved with the oldest because he still hopes we can get back together

I'm at a loss I don't want to do anything that would hurt my baby

 

[Mummy1995]

Yeah that would be my worry can you have a serious chat with him about it? See where he think he stands? X

 

[Dream.dream]

So we talked this weekend. His stand is that regardless of what happens with us he's raised my oldest since before he was 2 and he's now 5 and they are both his sons . Says he won't be going anywhere and even went as far as to say if it came down to it he would fight for visitation with him ( I'd never make him tho)

Huge relief I just hope he keeps his word .

 

[babycrazy1706]

Oh that's great news, very reassuring for you.

 

[Mummy1995]

That's brilliant!! so pleased for you and your sons xx