Feeling a bit blue today.

[BlueFairy]

Hi Ladies,

Not really in need of help here just wanted to have a vent of frustration to others who would understand.

I lost a baby a couple of months ago now and my husband and I have been trying to conceive again since. I know we’ve not being trying for long compared to some other people but it’s really getting me down today.

I should have been for my 20 week scan this week and I think it’s just made me feel a little blue thinking about it.

Plus everyone I know seems to be pregnant or just about to have a baby and all of a sudden everyone on TV seems to be pregnant and I can’t avoid the constant adverts for Ugly Betty being up the duff…I don’t even watch the show and the thing is annoying me.

Also I swear since the whole baby thing came into our lives all I see are baby bumps when I go out shopping. And I’m really happy for everyone who has one but I want a baby too soo bad and I guess sometimes it just doesn’t seem very fair.

I should be pregnant, I should be planning for our new arrival…I should be decorating a nursery!

 

[whyme]

Hi, you seem to be having the same kind of day as me.

I had a mmc in feb at 11 weeks. Been trying since May and not a sniff of a chance! Very frustrating as We caught so quickly before - have a 3.5 year old. Every month is a disappointment at arrival of AF and the due date was very hard too.

People who haven't been there haven't a clue what we go through. Today at work, a colleague,( who is not malicious) as we were having a cuppa, asked was I having any more children - I had a mug of tea to my mouth and there were other people in the room and it did upset me to be honest but I just shrugged and said , dont know. Inside I felt like saying "HELLO- MY BABY DIED JUST SIX MONTHS AGO AND JUST BECAUSE I LOOK AND SOUND AND ACT OK, I STILL HURT BIG TIME and IT'S NOT BLOODY HAPPENING!

There is another woman at work who sadly can't have children and is trying IVF, but tells everyone who will listen. However, she is so wrapped up in HER problems, that she is quite nasty, says things like "what was she trying for a baby for at her age, and she already has two", when another girl at work had a miscarriage, and when I returned to work after mine - asked if I had been on holiday! I thought she didn't know, but found out later she did. She said things like, well at least you have your son, weren't you shocked to be pregnant ?! and you don't know what it's like for me, blah blah- dissed my pain, again all about her. Anyhow, she has recently returned to work after a failed IVF and wants everyone to ask her. I just couldn't, and that maybe hard, but she really hurt me. Anyhow I did try today and she put her had up to me and told me that I don't have to ask, she is fine and dealing with it! I feel so angry, other people have their own pain and it isn't about her. I feel really horrible but part of me feels like saying - maybe now you can appreciate the pain we experienced.

I am going to 41 next month and slowly starting to lose hope that i will have another baby, I should be on maternity leave right now, looking forward to Christmas, don't know how I am going to feel if I don't get BFP before then

 

[Amygdala]

Hey BlueFairy, I feel exactly as you describe today. Had a mmc in early September, this is our first cycle trying. I felt so pregnant all of last week (and still do), I was so sure. It's now 11dpo and I've had nothing but bfns and am now convinced I'm out this month. I totally hear you on EVERYONE being pregnant, especially on tv. What's up with that?
Whyme, sorry people at your work are so insensitive. Hope you get your bfp really soon!

 

[whyme]

Amy - 11dpo is still early hun - i am currenly in same boat, 10 dpo, with negative tests - been blubbing to my Agony aunt (Sister) just this afternoon....Good luck

 

[boromum]

sounds like you're all having the same sort of day as me. today has been a really low day for me, thought i was over the worse. i have three angel babies who i miss desperately, and a earth son and a earth daughter. we have said we would love to try again, but are very scared in case it goes horribly wrong again. but at the moment, everyone seems to be pregnant and having babies. the young girl i work with, came off her pill behind her boyfriends back, and fell within weeks. when she told him, she said she had done it to get a flat and benefits etc. i found this very hurtful as she knows what i am going through as i only said goodbye to my 3rd angel baby in june recently. i find it really hard to be pleasant to her and do the baby talk and coo over her scan pics when inside i just want to cry. hopes this makes sense. just find it really hard to explain how hurt and heartbroken i am, and how much i miss my angels xx

 

[bbhopes]

big hugs

 

[crazytulip]