feeling a bit...overwhelmed (had to get this out)

[mernie]

I'm not sure if I can go on breastfeeding honestly. I LOVE the bonding and everything like that but it just feels like I'm chained to the couch with her. I know its whats best for her and that plus the bonding time is whats gotten me through but yesterday she had her 2 week well baby appointment and the dr asked me about her bowel movements. I told her that she doesn't have one everyday but when she does have them they're normal color and texture and theres alot and she said that she should be having at least 5 if not up to 7 poos a day she hasn't done that since the day she was born! So she told me to nurse more! She eats about 10-11 times a day not counting when she "snacks" how am i supposed to nurse more?! then she told me that i shouldn't be expressing into a bottle this early and when i do (which i apparently need to stop til she's about 6 weeks) i only need to do it about twice a week. I NEED some kind of a break somewhere but at the same time I feel like such a horrible mother for feeling this way its not her fault that she gets hungry, it was MY choice to BF and I still want to but I'm just not sure if i can keep it up. I'm sorry for the long post ladies but I HAD to get this out instead of keeping it in.

 

[ryder]

Dont worry about the poops. Unless she isnt having wet pee diapers, or if she seems constipated.

But honestly, if you are not happy, you need to do what you think is the best for you both.

I tried bfing for 2 weeks and it wasn't for us. My baby hasnt been sick, we have a perfect bond and we are both very happy. Its nice to be able to let Daddy take over and get a break too.

If you do want to continue there are lots of members who can support you, including me. It is hard in the beginning.

 

[freckleonear]

You're doing a fantastic job.

No idea why your doctor said that about bowel movements, it's quite normal for breastfed babies to only have one dirty nappy each week! As long as she is having plenty of wet nappies then she's getting enough.

People often recommend leaving expressing until 6 weeks just to get breastfeeding well established first, but if that's what you need to do to stay sane then do it and don't let your doctor make you feel guilty about it. I completely understand you needing a break sometimes. You're not a horrible mother, it's better for both of you if you can have a break to rest and feel a bit better.

 

[Samantha675]

I sooo remember feeling that way as well hun. I just gritted my teeth and hung in there. I don't know what advice to give other and that I do promise it won't stay the same. It will get easier, and just remembering there is light at the end of the tunnel sometimes helps. I remember thinking, 'this is never going to end, I just can't do it' but it did, far faster, then I thought it would, and now sometimes, I would love to go back and spend another day cuddled on the sofa.

You can also look at it this way, being chain to the sofa, your DH has to fetch things for you, cook for you, and YOU get the control of the remote!

If she is pooping, then I wouldn't worry about it. If she is nuring that much, she is just fine. Some babies are poop machines, and some aren't.

No matter what you do hun, you are doing a wonderful thing, and a great job for your child.

Of course you need time to yourself. It took me 7 months and a near breakdown to figure that out, and once I did, I have become a much saner person. Let your DH bath your baby, or take her for a walk so you can shower or read a chapter or two in a book, or go for a walk yourself if you feel up to it.

Oh, and one more thing, I remember my MW coming over after Brenn was born and checking on us. She asked me how I felt, and I said softly 'overwhelmed' and she laughed, and said 'well of course you do hun, having a baby is totally overwhelming'. I can't tell you how much it helped me to hear her say that, because I had been feeling so alone with my feeling of being overwhelmed by it all.

 

[Freya]

HIya.... it really is like reading about myself in the early days. I had much the same battles.... I'm still bf (14 wks on) and I for me I can't say it's got easier, and I am still waiting!!! She is on a 3 hr feeding cycle during the day, 2 hrs at night still. Gracie is a small bub though, so she can't hold as much feed as most others.

It's a tough call. I tend to set mini targets, like.... lets get to 2 weeks.... one month, and they see how i feel and if the situation has changed. Less pressure on me that way. Perhaps you could the same? Unless things are very bad of course!!!

Poos? Yep once a week isn't unusual for bf bubs.

Bottles? My health visitor said 4 weeks may be best- I was desperate to get OH involved for a break.

Whatever you decide, you are not a terrible mum!!!! However long you bf, tis alllll good.

xxx

 

[MaryJ]

I pretty much hated breast feeding. And I'm the last one who should have hated it if you read about what some people go through. We were both naturals. No pain, no latch problems, no supply problems. But that is all I did. I couldn't leave the couch for the first 3-4 weeks. It was so much better when he got weaned to all formula. He started sleeping longer in the night. And now that he's starting solid foods it's better still.

Not trying to discourage you from BF'ing. I did it for the first 8 weeks because I was absoutely convinced that BF was best for him and that I was going to do what was best. It really was very easy I just was going stir crazy.

Personally, I take what doctors and nurses say with a grain of salt. They go off of what the "average" baby does. In my experience they don't really take individual differences into account very well. Ours was pooping 4-5 times a day and we were told only 1 a day or 1 every other day. Sounds like your baby's normal based on what my doctor said... and my baby's normal based on what yours said!

Also, if you're already expressing and not having an issue with supply or anything - why not get a couple of bottles expressed and go out for a couple of hours one night? It's even amazing how much 2 hours at the laundromat can give you back your sanity.

 

[MyMayBabies]

hi
it is really hard and its battling those 'maybe im being selfish' feelings....you arnt.....its incredibly tough
i know that they do settle down eventually but if it sends you barmy in the meantime its no consolation .....
Best to talk to you health visitor and see what she says but i promise you should do as you feel its evident to everyone on here and your friends and family that you love your baby very much and not breastfeeding does in NO WAY imply any different..
hope you are feeling better soon .....keep your chin up...it does get easier...

 

[greenkat]

It is SO hard at first. I didn't get a shower for 2 months without my OH coming in and saying she's hungry, even if I'd just fed her. Around 2 to 3 months it started to get easier though and at 5 months now we have no problems.

It's really good to do it as far as you have. For me I look back to the first weeks and think 'thank god that's over' but I feel proud of myself for persevering so I'd recommend keeping going. You could try mixed feeding if you're at breaking point. I did give my LO a few bottle feeds at first and took a bottle if we were going out.

Poop wise - my LO has always been very regular - one every feed at first and now there's a massive one every morning, 8am like clockwork, lol.

 

[Samantha675]

And remember, we have all been there, so you are ALWAYS free to vent to us!

 

[1st_baby]

You do what you feel is best for both of you hun .. you dont need to be stressed over the poop thing as my son BF 10 times per day and yet only pooped 2 times in day if even ..

 

[Dragonfly]

I dont know about the pooh I know William goes for BM more than once a day but I know what you mean about being chained to the couch. The feeding does get under control. I have been doing it 6 weeks now and I do remember t the beginning for a few weeks i was near giving up. He just wanted fed so much and i coldnt do anytihng. He takes big feeds now less often and gives e more free time.
It is demading and everyone keeps sying to me that i dont have to keep doing it and wat i done was enogh but i want to keep doing it beacsue he is healthy. I dont mind it now.

I do hope it gets easier for you also as it does along. It drains also, i am wreaked all the time now.

 

[Serene123]

Oh hun!

It's perfectly normal and natural to be feeling like this. You're a wonderful mother, I'm sure! BF does get easier and there's plenty of support out there. I agree with the HV about not pumping untill 6 weeks, (but ultimately the choice is up to you!)

If you want to continue don't give up. You can do this!!

As for BM, BF babies often get a little constipated at first. I'm pretty sure a few babeis on here only went once a week!!

 

[Mrs_Nesbit]

Do what you feel is right..
Sam only does a poop once every other day and he's fine and even when tiny did two a day tops. Express if you want to..Not all babies get nip confusion. If you need a break, you need a break. Babies ARE constantly at the boob for the first few months xxx