Feeling a little down

[mummy2one]

Hi ladies, Ive had some problems adjusting to this pregnancy although it is very much wanted and loved and longed for, I cant seem to get excited at the moment

Our DS has taken the news very well which has surprised me greatly (he has learning difficulties and can take change badly) and we are very proud of him for the way he is dealing with this.

As some will know I have had a few scans upto now and have another Thursday and every 4 weeks after that to check baby etc, this has helped reduce my fear of another miscarriage but having problems determining sex of baby as baby doesnt want to show itself I think this is contributing to my lack of excitement we have been told possible team pink twice at 20 weeks and 22 weeks, Id just like confirmation so I can genuinely get excited about buying things and names etc I cant help feeling very selfish because of this Im so glad baby is healthy dont get me wrong but would love to know what team were on.

Also been having really bad panic attacks about birth DS birth was not an easy labour and I felt cheated as I had to have forceps as I was too exhausted to push him out (again feel selfish for thinking this way) and with my due date been so close to Christmas (19th) I have spoken to OH, friends and family about maybe having a c-section as this would enable me to have tubes tied at same time too and should mean Christmas wouldnt be a worry (I worry if I were to go over my DS wouldnt have a great Christmas). I may have no option on the c-section as close monitoring is to check baby's weight and I have a few high risk factors. Its been 8 years since I last gave birth and I just feel scared and selfish

Thank you if youve read this essay and sorry for been incredibly selfish just needed to rant to someone other than OH who just smiles and agrees with me with no real conversation about how he feels etc etc think hes got bored of me overplaying things in my head xx

 

[Canadianjules]

You are not selfish at all! I haven't been through labor, but I've already been through some stuff with this pregnancy that was pretty traumatic. It is not selfish to have had pregnancy or birth complications and then to be afraid of them. Nor is it selfish to want to know the gender to help you prepare and bond! I don't feel I have been able to bond with my baby yet and am greatly looking forward to my 18 week scan to hopefully find out, and I would be super bummed out if they couldn't figure it out! Regarding the scheduled c-section, you and your doctor have to decide if this is right for you and the baby given your risk factors and such. Trust yourself; your thoughts are not selfish, just regular pregnancy fears and experiences. We give up so much control over our bodies by becoming pregnant; it is only natural to want some of that back if possible

 

[mummy2one]

You are not selfish at all! I haven't been through labor, but I've already been through some stuff with this pregnancy that was pretty traumatic. It is not selfish to have had pregnancy or birth complications and then to be afraid of them. Nor is it selfish to want to know the gender to help you prepare and bond! I don't feel I have been able to bond with my baby yet and am greatly looking forward to my 18 week scan to hopefully find out, and I would be super bummed out if they couldn't figure it out! Regarding the scheduled c-section, you and your doctor have to decide if this is right for you and the baby given your risk factors and such. Trust yourself; your thoughts are not selfish, just regular pregnancy fears and experiences. We give up so much control over our bodies by becoming pregnant; it is only natural to want some of that back if possible

Thank you so much xx Hopefully you find out the sex and the rest is happy and healthy for both you and baby x

 

[Canadianjules]

Thank you so much xx Hopefully you find out the sex and the rest is happy and healthy for both you and baby x

Thanks; I hope the same for you! Hope you're feeling a bit better!

 

[jlw617]

Nothing you're feeling is selfish! I really wanted to know asap what team we were on as well especially after a loss, it somehow makes it seem more real. That's great your son took the news well as far as the induction goes, that has to be your decision, I personally believe going natural is best if possible and believe me I considered being induce for my first baby because my husband was away literally gone my whole pregnancy starting at 3 months pregnant until she was 3 months old except for a a small window where he go to come home for Christmas (he was in the army) so I wanted him to be there for her birth but she had other plans and came 2 weeks early on dec 14th also I know you've probably heard this but mKe sure you really are 100% done having kids...not sure how old you are but we thought we were done after our second was born, I was 27 so not terribly young but we regretted our decision for my husband to have a vasectomy and it took a couple years after we decided we wanted more children to actually get a reversal, get pregnant, had a loss and then get pregnant again...I'm 33 now and I wish we would have waited as I'd like to have more but will probably only be having 1 more as I don't want to be having too many past 35...but you know your own circumstances, just wanted to share mine good luck and I hope you get to find out soon!

 

[mummy2one]

Nothing you're feeling is selfish! I really wanted to know asap what team we were on as well especially after a loss, it somehow makes it seem more real. That's great your son took the news well as far as the induction goes, that has to be your decision, I personally believe going natural is best if possible and believe me I considered being induce for my first baby because my husband was away literally gone my whole pregnancy starting at 3 months pregnant until she was 3 months old except for a a small window where he go to come home for Christmas (he was in the army) so I wanted him to be there for her birth but she had other plans and came 2 weeks early on dec 14th also I know you've probably heard this but mKe sure you really are 100% done having kids...not sure how old you are but we thought we were done after our second was born, I was 27 so not terribly young but we regretted our decision for my husband to have a vasectomy and it took a couple years after we decided we wanted more children to actually get a reversal, get pregnant, had a loss and then get pregnant again...I'm 33 now and I wish we would have waited as I'd like to have more but will probably only be having 1 more as I don't want to be having too many past 35...but you know your own circumstances, just wanted to share mine good luck and I hope you get to find out soon!

Thank you hun, Im 30(will be 31 when bubble arrives) and OH is 34, we had decided no more kids after 30 (for me) but we just weren't ready to give up hope of a second child yet, after previous losses we decided this was certainly our last and then we get to enjoy the children growing up

I see my consultant on Thursday and my midwife next week going to talk to both about my fears and ask for any advice they can offer, Ive swung towards a natural labour as far as Ill be allowed and hoping baby plays ball and comes on 19th or before as I dont want to spoil Christmas for my little boy

Feeling a little better today and will hopefully know the gender on Thursday so no doubt will get excited then xx