Feeling afraid - Could use some re assurance

[Welshcob]

Well the solicitor is sending FOB this letter
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Girls here is my softened version of the solicitors letter. What do you think?


Our client instructs us that for the last few months, you have used both threatening and abusive behaviour towards her on a number of occasions, the last being on the 22nd April 2009.



We have advised our Client that she is in a position to obtain a Court Order to protect herself from you using any violence against her. However, our Client would prefer at this stage to try to resolve matters between you both without the need for a Court Order. This is provided that you stop your aggressive behaviour towards her immediately.



We must warn you that if as a result of this letter you attempt to threaten or intimidate our Client in any way, or you are violent towards her, we shall have no hesitation in applying to the Court for an order to protect her.



We recommend that you obtain independent legal advice regarding the contents of this letter. We suggest you contact Resolution, formerly known as the Solicitors Family Law Association (SFLA) on 01689 850227 for details of members of Resolution in your area. We recommend that you consult a Resolution member who will normally be a specialist in family law; Resolution members are committed to adopting an amicable approach in all family matters.



If you consult solicitors you should take this letter with you. If you do not intend to consult solicitors you may contact the writer of this letter, Miss <name>, direct by telephone.



Furthermore, as you are aware, our client is eleven weeks pregnant with your child, she is anxious to know what role you intend to play in this baby’s life in order to support and facilitate this where possible. We would be most obliged if you could inform us of your thoughts in relation to this matter as soon as practicable.



We look forward to hearing from you by return.



Yours faithfully
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But I know thats gonna set him off. I was talking to a friend who said to me I must stop seeing the best in FOB. That he is planning something - which is why he vanished and suddenly stopped all contact. Then he planned my visit to his place where he recorded me swearing and then had me arrested for slapping him after he pushed me. As you know I got a caution.
I have felt very frightened since that time and even more so now that my friend has painted a very black and white picture. Its frightened me because I can see they are right! My friend said I must prepare for the worst case scenario. That FOB is planning something...he works in such a weird way - highly intelligent - plans for months ahead of things - so far that I am never able to think in the same way and therefore I fall into his traps like the one where he had me arrested.
My friend said hes likely to try and take the baby from me or maybe force un supervised visitation. He will be gathering info to use against me. I think hes right.
Would my caution go against my ability to look after the baby? How can I prove that baby needs supervise visits? All I have is a history of abuse where I never reported him. Also that he seems to have poured something on my car that has taken the paint off. I can't prove its him though! So I haven't said anything. Also that he has a history of planning cruel and manipulative behaviour. He also has a history of abandonment. He also attended a perpetrator program ( for abusive men) but all he has done is use things he learned in that - to use against me. What can I do to prove I am a good person, Loving and caring, trusting - Which is why I got intothis mess in the first place. What kind of thjngs would the social services like to see?

FOB has a nice house - I only have a small flat. He has good salary - so can get a good solicitor. He lost one job which was probably due to his getting threatening to his boss. But the company just asked him to leave. They never stated that as a reason - infact they never gave a reason - I think they were afraid also. He currently has a contract job. I also think hes hoping I lose my job as part of this caution as I may not pass security clearance and our company - Cleverly seem to have lost mine and I will need to re apply.
What can I do to help plan for the worst? Any advice at all would be great!
Good news - is I am 11 weeks today!!! Woop Woop.

 

[tinkabells]

I would stay away from him, change number dont give it out to anyone who may give it to him, i would also get the injuction out on him aswell, sorry your going through this, but i would stay away from anything of his, as he seems to have planned alot of things to try and make you out as the bad person etc xxx

 

[impatient1]

Even though you can't prove it's him, you should still report the incident that happened to your car and anything else that happens. My father has slashed many tires on my mom's car about 10 in about 5 months time (only our car in a parking lot with about 15 other cars... hmmm)... anyway it's been very costly. Unfortunately we could never prove that he did it even with the cops sitting outside watching... he would wait until they left as they couldn't be there all the time. We do have it all reported and on file, and he has been warned that if they do find out it was him, that charges will be pressed

 

[melcb]

where to start????!
with regards to your solicitors letter.... i cant see you getting a reply other than abuse ...so please make sure you follow through on what you said in the letter!
your current situation is a tough one(which i hope doesnt get worse!) im just thinking about the baby here and your concerns about your ex wanting to take the baby theory. i could go into a novel here on things you should probably do and not do, alas i cant on here as much of it is my story which i dont want made so public. i am new to this forum and as such dont have any of the privileges which allow me to contact people direct,etc(or do i and i cant find them?lol) so if there is another not so public way of talking let me know and i'll try and help through experience, even though i know every case is different.

 

[Welshcob]

where to start????!
with regards to your solicitors letter.... i cant see you getting a reply other than abuse ...so please make sure you follow through on what you said in the letter!
your current situation is a tough one(which i hope doesnt get worse!) im just thinking about the baby here and your concerns about your ex wanting to take the baby theory. i could go into a novel here on things you should probably do and not do, alas i cant on here as much of it is my story which i dont want made so public. i am new to this forum and as such dont have any of the privileges which allow me to contact people direct,etc(or do i and i cant find them?lol) so if there is another not so public way of talking let me know and i'll try and help through experience, even though i know every case is different.

Hi ya...I really would appreciate any advice at all at the moment. My email is [email protected] Thank you