Feeling awkward because of other people...

[Chellebelle]

Hi ladies.

Sorry I haven't been on much, been trying to get settled at home.

I have taken to breastfeeding really well and I love it. My only problem is... other peoples opinions. I didn't expect to be faced with any predjudice... the other day, Simeon was content and gobbling away so I phoned my friend for a chat and I said "oh hang on a minute, Simeon has just finished feeding and has started squirming" and Lisa said "UGH! are you BREASTFEEDING whilst you're talking to me?" so I said "yes I was but not now?" and she said "ewwww don't talk to me when there is someone munching on your boobs" I know she might have only been joking, but it really got to me and started me on a rollercoaster of emotions about the whole thing.

Last night my brother came around, so I put a muslin blanket over Simeon and my chest whilst he fed, you couldn't see anything. Then my dad came around today and told me that my brother told my dad when he got home and said he felt really uncomfortable about me breastfeeding.

So today, we had some more visitors, and Simeon was hungry... so I took him upstairs and we hid feeding in the bedroom... it felt really seedy.

I really don't know what to do... I spoke to my mum and she said "don't bother about what other people think / say as you and baby come first" but it's easier said than done.

Has anyone else had anyone make you feel uncomfortable and how did you deal with it? I am scared that I might give up bf-ing sooner than I wanted as I can't go on feeling like this for 6 months.

xxx

 

[Serene123]

I felt like this, then thought fuck it, if someone wants to come into my home, or have me and my baby at theirs, they'll deal with it!

 

[masi]

I must admit i try to feed Seth out of the way. Not that i should be ashamed, but i worry about embarassing people. All my friends, and family are used to it though, and i keep myself well covered.
If it's what you want to do though, be strong, maybe get a breastfeeding cover. I know Kat bought one, but i'm not sure how she got on with it. People will get used to it time, so don't let it get you down.

 

[Miss Duke]

I reckon they will get used to it hon. I can't believe your bro, how rude!

 

[XKatX]

If people want to come to mine, I do warn them that I may - discreetly - be breastfeeding. That way, it's their choice. It's your home and your baby comes first. If I am going to someone elses house, I ask them before I go if there is somewhere I can BF. If not, I don't go.
Don't let others bully you out of it. Maybe speak to your brother about it? You may be able to make him feel at ease about it in future.
Good luck x x

 

[babezone]

dont let them get to you hun xxxx

 

[Samantha675]

I just don't care what other people think. Everyone around me is aware of my feeding choice, and if they have been uncomfortable then it is for them to deal with. My father is not comfortable when I am feeding, as he feels he just doesn't need to see my boob, so he just stays back until Brennan is done eating. But he is also very supportive of my BFing.

 

[Mervs Mum]

I felt the same to start with but you, and they, will get used to it. My Mum was very careful to time hers and my Dad's visits so he wasnt there when I needed to feed. I still try not to feed in front of him if poss but over time its become less of an issue - infact he sat next to me as I fed over Xmas albeit she was under my top and I dont think he realised to start with.

If you stay confident in yourself then people realise if they want to be around you or Simeon for more than 10 mins, then theymay see you feed - doesnt mean they are gonna see you topless! You'll be suprised how quickly they tend to get over it or deal with it by buggering off!!

I'm so glad its working well for you hun - I know you really wanted to so dont let a relativelyminor thing cause you a crisis of confidence.

 

[Mervs Mum]

I just don't care what other people think. Everyone around me is aware of my feeding choice, and if they have been uncomfortable then it is for them to deal with. My father is not comfortable when I am feeding, as he feels he just doesn't need to see my boob, so he just stays back until Brennan is done eating. But he is also very supportive of my BFing.

My Dad is just the same

 

[ryder]

bfing is your choice, so you shouldn't feel ashamed.... but it is only natural for some people to feel uncomfortable about seeing it, especially men who see boobs as a sex object.... and if it is your families and brothers sometimes a little mutual respect can go a long way, its likely not the feeding which bothers him, but more the fact that his sisters boob is out.... while im not saying you should be ashamed, maybe when your brother is there go somewhere else.

 

[Miss Duke]

bfing is your choice, so you shouldn't feel ashamed.... but it is only natural for some people to feel uncomfortable about seeing it, especially men who see boobs as a sex object.... and if it is your families and brothers sometimes a little mutual respect can go a long way, its likely not the feeding which bothers him, but more the fact that his sisters boob is out.... while im not saying you should be ashamed, maybe when your brother is there go somewhere else.

If it were me, I would tell my brother to go somewhere else - unless it were his house of course!!!!!

 

[Wobbles]

Oh no

I instantly wondered if it was because hes your brother that he maybe just felt awkward ...nothing else. Is he a family man?

Ignore your friend it was probably something that she didn't even think about first or even would know it offended you I'm sure she wouldn't want to on purpose.

Don't stop if this is what you are comfortable with for other people just as time goes on you'll figure out whats best where maybe?

 

[hsollis]

First, I agree with your mother - don't worry about it! Do what you need to!

Second - brothers and fathers don't like to think of us as 'women' and as having had sex as well as being mothers so this is probably why your brother was uncomfortable and mentioned it your dad and not your mum or you. The male support... Don't worry about it, he'll adjust... If it was the first time, he saw you then it was probably just the shock and realisation that his sister was a mother now...

Third - hopefully, your friend was just joking and understands. It would be crazy if our children had to wait to eat until everyone was happy with the circumstance they'd starve... You are doing well BF but even if you were bottle feeding you would need to adjust and change positions, etc...

It all falls down to what you are comfortable with.

I also BF but I personally don't do this in front of men (except hubby) and I don't in public unless necessary. Not because of embarrassing others but I'm a reserved and private person. In addition, my LO prefers to have QUIET when she feeds so I usually have to go to another room, etc. anyway, even at home when we've got company.

So, do what you feel comfortable with and hang the rest of them!!

 

[Uvlollypop]

hugs, how insensitive of your 'friend' i laugh at people when they get uncomfy with me feeding faith, its their problem its just a pair of boobs its what they are there for and besides you see more flesh in a bkini.

i refuse to feed my baby in toilets i covered faith with a muslin in the doctors waiting room (as not to offend anyone) yesterday and she went mental cause she isnt used to it and couldnt see me so i uncovered her in the end because it was easier a lady looked at me funny so i asked her if she would be happy eating her sunday lunch with a blanket over her head and she said no... i replied there you go then mind your own.

if people are uncomfy with you feeding around them tell them to move, they can stand in the kitchen or what ever, its your house and your baby why should you have to move.

xx

 

[Chellebelle]

Thanks everyone. You're all right... I have been out today and treated myself to some proper nursing tops and I am going to order a sling so no-one will probably notice anyway.

I am going to try my best to stick at it as I have always wanted to breastfeed and be proud of it.

My brother is a family man... I think maybe it's just a man thing. The thing is - he has just put a pic on Facebook of him and his girlfriend in bed posing with barely anything on lol - so what's worse?

I'm sure I'll get used to it... need to give it time. Thanks again, you all made me feel better. xxx

 

[Wobbles]

Thanks everyone. You're all right... I have been out today and treated myself to some proper nursing tops and I am going to order a sling so no-one will probably notice anyway.

I am going to try my best to stick at it as I have always wanted to breastfeed and be proud of it.

My brother is a family man... I think maybe it's just a man thing. The thing is - he has just put a pic on Facebook of him and his girlfriend in bed posing with barely anything on lol - so what's worse?

I'm sure I'll get used to it... need to give it time. Thanks again, you all made me feel better. xxx

lol!!

I'd at a guess still say it was a brother thing rather than man thing. Funny creatures men Next time tell him your feeding LO and could he go clean the dishes for you whist you do ...take advantage

Stick with it just work out what makes you comfy not others be it what makes you comfy on your own, where and surroundings.

 

[clairebear]

aww hun no one sholdmake u feel like that for feeding ur baby especially in ur own home x hope ur brother comes round to the idea x x

 

[Chellebelle]

I'd at a guess still say it was a brother thing rather than man thing.

I agree... Scott is completely comfortable with it, it is just a brother thing. Ha, yes, next time he visits I'll send him straight to the sink

Thanks again. xxx

 

[Sherileigh]

Oh my god...breastfeeding is the most natural thing in the world hon! DO NOT let others put you off...if they feel weird about it...it is THEIR problem not yours. A friend of mine would have her boob out in front of a group of people, never bothered her...and my sister would lock herself away as she felt so uncomfortable. Me I'm hoping to be just in the middle, not locked away, but discreet.
Enjoy this time...and don't worry about what others have to say!

 

[artypants2008]

You keep it up hun. It's the best thing for your baby and you. I always used to ask people first "do you mind if I feed him" they feel more uncomfortable saying no than you will bfing in front of them. They then can't complain. As for your FRIEND, I wouldn't phone her for a while and when she asks why just say the only spare time you get is when your feeding your lo.

I think someone already mentioned getting a bfing cover they are great.

Good luck and keep it up.