feeling bullied by hospital*** updated with birth story***

[melbell]

I had my pre op today and requested baby stay with husband and I while I'm stitched. My Dr told me to ask the nurse, as he knows its done but doesnt have experience with it. The nurse told me its not possible baby must be weighed, and checked out. Dh cannot stay in room and hold baby, they said he's not allowed to stay, and it will only be 20 min. This is incorrect. I don't care if my son is weighed right away! Why can't my dh stay with me? And I've heard the rest itching takes about 30-40 min. Why must they take my baby and leave me alone? The nurse was a total bulky, saying nobody allows baby to stay in room. I told her its common many places, and she argued nowhere in the state of Florida was it done. I feel like she just couldn't be bothered. This is my first baby, I feel so sad I've been crying off and on.

 

[Mummy2onexx]

I'm the the UK so cant really comment but for us once you have had baby it doesn't leave your sight at all unless there is a problem, in my c-section I held my daughter whilst be stitched up so did hubby. Your baby your rules I say x

 

[momofone08]

I would ask your dr who will do the section instead. I was shown my daughter over the cloth then she was weighed and wrapped up and then they handed her to me while they started stitching me. They did take her and hubby out before I was done and took me to recovery. They were both brought back to me in recovery though, so I only was alone maybe 20 minutes for stitching and moving from one bed to another.

 

[chasemanzmum]

I had my pre op today and requested baby stay with husband and I while I'm stitched. My Dr told me to ask the nurse, as he knows its done but doesnt have experience with it. The nurse told me its not possible baby must be weighed, and checked out. Dh cannot stay in room and hold baby, they said he's not allowed to stay, and it will only be 20 min. This is incorrect. I don't care if my son is weighed right away! Why can't my dh stay with me? And I've heard the rest itching takes about 30-40 min. Why must they take my baby and leave me alone? The nurse was a total bulky, saying nobody allows baby to stay in room. I told her its common many places, and she argued nowhere in the state of Florida was it done. I feel like she just couldn't be bothered. This is my first baby, I feel so sad I've been crying off and on.

Put it in your birthing plan. And talk to the dr in charge. Don't let some nurse bully you if you really want it. Sounds like she just didnt want to be bothered. Your baby your birth your way.

 

[lozzy21]

Just tell her no and tell your OH not to give the baby to any one. What they going to do? Its not like they can forcibly remove LO from your OH.

 

[LDC]

I'm UK but when I had mine oh went with LO whilst she was checked with the dr and they showed her to me before they went. They were gone about 3 minutes and there was a lovely woman member of staff with me whilst baby got checked (standard procedure).

Then oh came back with LO and they weighed/measured her in front of me whilst I was being stitched.

I then held LO when we got back to the ward about 30 mins later. To be honest the bed was that small and tilted I couldn't have comfortably held LO anyway.

I'd write it in your birth plan, but in my experience they're gone for a couple of minutes (at the time I didn't know any different anyway) for the actual check. They have to weigh baby's right away but they can use the portable scales that they use in "normal" delivery (the bed thing on wheels) and they can do this in front of you so you're included and can see what's going on.

X

 

[lozzy21]

I'm UK but when I had mine oh went with LO whilst she was checked with the dr and they showed her to me before they went. They were gone about 3 minutes and there was a lovely woman member of staff with me whilst baby got checked (standard procedure).

Then oh came back with LO and they weighed/measured her in front of me whilst I was being stitched.

I then held LO when we got back to the ward about 30 mins later. To be honest the bed was that small and tilted I couldn't have comfortably held LO anyway.

I'd write it in your birth plan, but in my experience they're gone for a couple of minutes (at the time I didn't know any different anyway) for the actual check. They have to weigh baby's right away but they can use the portable scales that they use in "normal" delivery (the bed thing on wheels) and they can do this in front of you so you're included and can see what's going on.

X

They dont have to weight babys straight away, there is no reason why baby cant be weighed later on apart from thats just how they have allways done it but if you state that baby has to be placed straight on your chest then unless there is a medical reason they have to do it.

 

[LDC]

I'm UK but when I had mine oh went with LO whilst she was checked with the dr and they showed her to me before they went. They were gone about 3 minutes and there was a lovely woman member of staff with me whilst baby got checked (standard procedure).

Then oh came back with LO and they weighed/measured her in front of me whilst I was being stitched.

I then held LO when we got back to the ward about 30 mins later. To be honest the bed was that small and tilted I couldn't have comfortably held LO anyway.

I'd write it in your birth plan, but in my experience they're gone for a couple of minutes (at the time I didn't know any different anyway) for the actual check. They have to weigh baby's right away but they can use the portable scales that they use in "normal" delivery (the bed thing on wheels) and they can do this in front of you so you're included and can see what's going on.

X

They dont have to weight babys straight away, there is no reason why baby cant be weighed later on apart from thats just how they have allways done it but if you state that baby has to be placed straight on your chest then unless there is a medical reason they have to do it.

I put skin to skin immediately after birth on my plan and it wasn't done? They did everything else down to a T, which I thought was really good seeing as my birth plan was aimed at a natural birth.

There was no medical reason that I couldn't have skin to skin straight away?

I'm not actually that fussed about that, as it was nice for oh to hold LO first and he introduced me to her, so to speak and told me the gender

X

 

[Stressbucket]

They weighed my daughter and Apgared her right away, with my husband being called over to see and hold her while it happened. Then they brought her to me, and I held her while the stitching-up went on. These folks sound crazy. I'd talk to the doctor who will do the operation directly.

 

[lozzy21]

I'm UK but when I had mine oh went with LO whilst she was checked with the dr and they showed her to me before they went. They were gone about 3 minutes and there was a lovely woman member of staff with me whilst baby got checked (standard procedure).

Then oh came back with LO and they weighed/measured her in front of me whilst I was being stitched.

I then held LO when we got back to the ward about 30 mins later. To be honest the bed was that small and tilted I couldn't have comfortably held LO anyway.

I'd write it in your birth plan, but in my experience they're gone for a couple of minutes (at the time I didn't know any different anyway) for the actual check. They have to weigh baby's right away but they can use the portable scales that they use in "normal" delivery (the bed thing on wheels) and they can do this in front of you so you're included and can see what's going on.

X

They dont have to weight babys straight away, there is no reason why baby cant be weighed later on apart from thats just how they have allways done it but if you state that baby has to be placed straight on your chest then unless there is a medical reason they have to do it.

I put skin to skin immediately after birth on my plan and it wasn't done? They did everything else down to a T, which I thought was really good seeing as my birth plan was aimed at a natural birth.

There was no medical reason that I couldn't have skin to skin straight away?

I'm not actually that fussed about that, as it was nice for oh to hold LO first and he introduced me to her, so to speak and told me the gender

X

Unless baby needed resusitating then there is no reason why you could not have skin to skin straight after. Plenty of other women get to do it, some staff are just stuck in their ways and dont like change.

 

[mrs owl]

I'm from Australia but I hope this helps. I saw about 5 c-sections on my last placement at a women's public hospital. All 5 times it was the same practice that after the baby is taken out of the abdominal the surgeon shows the baby to the mother over the curtain and then asked the dad if he would like to cut the cord. Even when one was a emergency c-section the surgeon still showed the baby over the curtain. After that the baby is handed to the midwives/ nurse she makes sure the baby is ok - if all ok then the baby is handed to the dad and the dad holds the baby or you (the mother) holds the baby with the dads assistance. Or baby is placed on mom's chest and dad assist with holding the baby.

There was a story a couple of years back where a mother dropped the baby after it was born as she couldn't hold the baby properly as the medication she was given made her arms numb. This is rare but because of this story I (as a student nurse) was taught to make sure the mom is not holding the baby by herself while she is on the operation table. After that the baby is with the dad the entire time while you - the mom - is in recovery. In Australia dad's have a right to stay in the O.R the entire time during the surgery and after so they don't miss the precious first moments with their newborns.

All the best!!! Don't let her bully you - people like that shouldn't be nurses

 

[Twinkie210]

I am from Illinois. When I had my c-section they weighed and measured and gave initial check up of the the baby in the OR (I have pictures of the monitor with his weight on it). The baby stayed in the OR for 5-10 minutes and we got some photos of him and the 3 of us together. Then both the baby and DH went to the nursery to finish the checkup and the baby was bathed. They automatically have the Dad (or whoever the partner is who is present for the birth) follow the baby so the rest of the surgery can be finished. Plus c-section babies can have some breathing problems since the fluid isn't expelled out of their lungs while being squeezed through the birth canal. Honestly if it is hospital policy that the baby has to go to the nursery to be checked out, I doubt they are going to allow the baby to stay with you in the OR, but there is NO reason why your OH couldn't be with the baby after it is born for the checkup. Also, when I was in recovery, no one not the baby or DH was allowed with me for the first 45min to an hour. This is to make sure you don't have a serious reaction from the anestesia and to check for complications from surgery. Once I had been in recovery awhile DH was allowed back in and he brought the baby with him While I know the rules may seem restrictive, find out the reasons why they are in place. It could be that there is a medical reason why things are done a certain way. But a nurse should never treat you badly, they should be polite and answer all of your questions in a cureous way.

 

[melbell]

I had my section, and am home with my little boy. His birth was beautiful, I requested they put him on my chest after he came out, and they agreed to that, they cleaned him near the table within eyesight. My husband took pictures of him coming out, and we also got a picture of the three of us. At that time I started feeling sick, and could tell something was wrong it was the scariest feeling. They gave me a shot and everything else was a bit blurry, but I know dh left with the baby. I guess I started losing a lot of blood and that's what made me so sick.
My recovery has been good, but a bit rocky. They had to remove old scar tissue during the section, then I had an allergic reaction to a iron supplement they gave me, so my incision and hips have been much more painful then expected. The nurses at the hospital were horrible, two were downright cruel I will never give birth there again! Fortunately I only had to stay 48 hours.
My baby is perfect, I adore him and so does my husband. I could just stare at him all day. He nurses like a champ, and my milk has already come in. I'm glad I pushed to have him on my chest after the birth, it was the best option I had and had to request it. Always ask more than one nurse if you have a request. Some will try to help you, and others will tell you no right off the bat.
I'm glad its all over, and I have my baby in my arms as in type this. I love him so much!

 

[6lilpigs]

Well done you, enjoy every second xxx

 

[mrs owl]

Congrats!Enjoy every moment.