Feeling down

[Galaxy Girl]

Hi guys
Me and DH have been ttc for over a year now and i know I should get back to the GP so we can be tested but i am generally scared. Has anyone else felt like this?
DH is very positive and says if there is a problem there is always adoption but for me there is nothing like having your own bundle of joy.

Im just feeling down in the dumps and need some positive comments to keep me going.

 

[PinkPeony]

I felt really scared about my first fertility appt too, but once I went I felt like a huge weight was lifted. I just felt really good that a professional was going to be helping me out from now on and that it wasn't all on my shoulders anymore. And the feeling of going forward with a plan rather than just floundering and wondering all the time what's wrong with us. So... Don't be scared. It's good to get to the bottom of things. It won't be anything you can't handle.

 

[Galaxy Girl]

I felt really scared about my first fertility appt too, but once I went I felt like a huge weight was lifted. I just felt really good that a professional was going to be helping me out from now on and that it wasn't all on my shoulders anymore. And the feeling of going forward with a plan rather than just floundering and wondering all the time what's wrong with us. So... Don't be scared. It's good to get to the bottom of things. It won't be anything you can't handle.

Thank you for your reply. I am just at that stage where I just want to cry! I went through these 12 months just thinking oh well it will happen next month and managed to stay positive.
Hopefully GP will be positive and help me get through this although the last time i saw him he said to go back in 18months i can not wait that long!

 

[KJM2]

Didnt want to read and run sending .

I know its really really hard to stay positive. But you may very likely will get pregnant we took 2.5 years to get pregnant really thought it would never ever happen. It was really difficult month after month not falling pregnant. we were a month away from starting IVF (unexplained infertlity) when I got pregnant naturally. It is really very difficult time for you all I can say is maybe go back to GP and they can do some tests which might or might not identify something they can help you with. I agree waiting until 18 months seems a bit long maybe go back and explain to Gp how you are feeling about it all. All the best.

 

[Princess Lou]

At the moment, because of extensive waiting times on the NHS, if there is no obvious reason, such as lack of periods, or known reasons such as PCOS, the GP's are now having to tell those under 35 that they can't see you until 18 months rather than 12 and for those over 35 it's 12 rather than 6.

Have you been charting your temps etc and know if you ovulate or not? If you can 'prove' there is something not quite right then they may see you before hand. Only other option is to go private, get the investigations done and if there is something not right, your GP will be forced to refer you to the Fertility Specialist.

You may, however, find a GP that will do blood work etc now. There is an exception to every rule.

I can't help with things that PinkPeony said as I've has medical interventions throughout due to circumstances.

 

[mizza1987]

we were the same - scared of finding out if there was a problem but to be honest we just went with it and kept telling ourselves that if there wasn't a problem then brilliant! when hubby's SA came back as borderline motility and all my bloods came back ok it felt like a massive weight had been lifted!! we've been referred anyways and am currently having more tests but it's honestly the best thing we did. I put it off for a few months, kept saying like you it'll happen next month, just one more month! good luck xxx

 

[Galaxy Girl]

Thank you all for your replies and kind words.
I havent been charting my temp but i will be starting that after AF this month, although to be honest im still unsure on how I do this. As in do i do it when AF has finished and everyday until next AF? (sorry probably sound really thick)

I forgot to mention 2 years ago I sadly had a M/C at 12+ weeks then decided not to ttc for a year so I have been telling myself that I can concieve. Could things have changed since then for me to now not be able to concieve?

 

[KJM2]

should say we used a clear blue fertility monitor with sucess.

 

[KJM2]

At the moment, because of extensive waiting times on the NHS, if there is no obvious reason, such as lack of periods, or known reasons such as PCOS, the GP's are now having to tell those under 35 that they can't see you until 18 months rather than 12 and for those over 35 it's 12 rather than 6.

.

I didnt know that, it just gets harder and harder to access fertility services

 

[Princess Lou]

At the moment, because of extensive waiting times on the NHS, if there is no obvious reason, such as lack of periods, or known reasons such as PCOS, the GP's are now having to tell those under 35 that they can't see you until 18 months rather than 12 and for those over 35 it's 12 rather than 6.

.

I didnt know that, it just gets harder and harder to access fertility services

Really sucks. More and more people are becoming infertile but there is a strong connection with infertility and life style. Everyone focuses on the women being overweight but overweight men have a lower than average sperm count and having laptops on knees kills sperm too. But because of this, those who can't do simple things like changing a life style, have to wait ages to be seen.


When it comes to temping, websites like Fertility Friend have demonstrations on how to do and other things too, like cervix position, cervical mucus and the likes.

 

[Galaxy Girl]

should say we used a clear blue fertility monitor with sucess.

I have been using clearblue ovulation sticks (non digital) but now watching a couple of the fertility monitors on ebay

 

[Kimiw]

Hi guys
Me and DH have been ttc for over a year now and i know I should get back to the GP so we can be tested but i am generally scared. Has anyone else felt like this?
DH is very positive and says if there is a problem there is always adoption but for me there is nothing like having your own bundle of joy.

Im just feeling down in the dumps and need some positive comments to keep me going.

I am sorry your are feeling down . I understand that feeling all too well. Me and DH have been trying for going on 7 years. Had my first BFP in August 2012 and had a MC same month. It was devistating, and this feeling of wanting a child never seems to go away. It is so hard to try and look to the future and wonder what is to come. The only thing that keeps me going is still hanging on to hope. It took 6 years for us to concieve with the help of Clomid, preseed and soft cups. I feel the same way you do when it comes to having my own baby, it is very important to me. Adoption is a wonderful thing too, but you have to truly want it and have let go and be past wanting your own biological one.

I wish I knew more to say, but I don't. They only thing I can say is, your not alone. I waited until we had been trying for 2 and a half years to finally go see a doctor and turned out I had PCOS and was not ovulating. DH took a SA and it came back that he had no living sperm. We were crushed so we gave up at that point and felt that maybe it was not meant to be. 3 years later of NTNP the desire to be parents struck us once again. Me and DH decided to see a different doctor and I demanded that they redo my DH's SA. His second one came back completely normal. We had to go through more testing. Turned out I had MTHFR also so that added to the mix but it was treatable. The new doctor put me on a high dose of clomid and for the first time I ovulated, didn't get pregnant but I ovulated! Second cycle I added preseed and soft cups and bam very first BFP.

The point I am trying to make is, don't wait to be seen. If I had gone after a year to see what was wrong we may have been parents by now or much closer to it. It is never easy to find out if there is something wrong, and if there is it may be able to be fixed. But hun, you won't know until you get seen. It is much cheaper to test men then women, not to mention easier. SO, you could always start with him and if he checks out then you could go. It is important that both parties get checked. I know it is easier said than done, but I have been where you have been and not knowing is difficult.

 

[Wallie]

I'd definitely go and see the doctor too, don't wait any longer.

I've been trying for years, gone through many assisted cycles and still nothing but I have found a great help through Catching Rainbows a website. You should check it out. All the negatively of not getting those two pink lines is detrimental to ttc. I have a CD which I got just yesterday which give you positive thoughts on getting that baby and it's helped me believe this WILL happen!

Keep strong and good luck!

https://www.catchingrainbowsfertility.co.uk/

 

[PinkPeony]

Yeah I'm with Kimi about getting your DH tested. They seem to be more willing to help out the men part bc it's just one easy test. As it turned out for me after assuming for ages I was the one with the issue, I was shocked when my DH's test came back quite low and my FS says that's why we can't conceive. So you never know. As women we always want to assume that we're to blame.

On the temping subject: start on CD1(first day of AF). Take your temp at the same time every morning when you wake up. My best advice about that is not to focus on any one temp. You just want to see a pattern over a period of weeks. When you first start out it's easy to get obsessed with one temp and that makes it stressful. Feel free to ask me any questions. Sadly I'm an expert at this point. Been doing it for wayyyy to long.

 

[Galaxy Girl]

Hi guys
Me and DH have been ttc for over a year now and i know I should get back to the GP so we can be tested but i am generally scared. Has anyone else felt like this?
DH is very positive and says if there is a problem there is always adoption but for me there is nothing like having your own bundle of joy.

Im just feeling down in the dumps and need some positive comments to keep me going.

I am sorry your are feeling down . I understand that feeling all too well. Me and DH have been trying for going on 7 years. Had my first BFP in August 2012 and had a MC same month. It was devistating, and this feeling of wanting a child never seems to go away. It is so hard to try and look to the future and wonder what is to come. The only thing that keeps me going is still hanging on to hope. It took 6 years for us to concieve with the help of Clomid, preseed and soft cups. I feel the same way you do when it comes to having my own baby, it is very important to me. Adoption is a wonderful thing too, but you have to truly want it and have let go and be past wanting your own biological one.

I wish I knew more to say, but I don't. They only thing I can say is, your not alone. I waited until we had been trying for 2 and a half years to finally go see a doctor and turned out I had PCOS and was not ovulating. DH took a SA and it came back that he had no living sperm. We were crushed so we gave up at that point and felt that maybe it was not meant to be. 3 years later of NTNP the desire to be parents struck us once again. Me and DH decided to see a different doctor and I demanded that they redo my DH's SA. His second one came back completely normal. We had to go through more testing. Turned out I had MTHFR also so that added to the mix but it was treatable. The new doctor put me on a high dose of clomid and for the first time I ovulated, didn't get pregnant but I ovulated! Second cycle I added preseed and soft cups and bam very first BFP.

The point I am trying to make is, don't wait to be seen. If I had gone after a year to see what was wrong we may have been parents by now or much closer to it. It is never easy to find out if there is something wrong, and if there is it may be able to be fixed. But hun, you won't know until you get seen. It is much cheaper to test men then women, not to mention easier. SO, you could always start with him and if he checks out then you could go. It is important that both parties get checked. I know it is easier said than done, but I have been where you have been and not knowing is difficult.

Thank you so much for your lovely reply. I will be going back to the GP to check nothing is wrong with me or DH. Obviously I so hope there isnt but im now feeling more positive and feel if there is something we can get through with the medical support.

 

[Galaxy Girl]

Yeah I'm with Kimi about getting your DH tested. They seem to be more willing to help out the men part bc it's just one easy test. As it turned out for me after assuming for ages I was the one with the issue, I was shocked when my DH's test came back quite low and my FS says that's why we can't conceive. So you never know. As women we always want to assume that we're to blame.

On the temping subject: start on CD1(first day of AF). Take your temp at the same time every morning when you wake up. My best advice about that is not to focus on any one temp. You just want to see a pattern over a period of weeks. When you first start out it's easy to get obsessed with one temp and that makes it stressful. Feel free to ask me any questions. Sadly I'm an expert at this point. Been doing it for wayyyy to long.

Thank you! I will give it a go, if i have problems I will message you you may get fed up of me haha. Ive just purchased the clearblue fertility monitor just to see if that will help. Tbh im willing to give anything a go until I can see my GP