Feeling down

[JessicaaJadex]

I'm sorry if this turns into a pointless rant, I just feel like I have absolutely nowhere to turn and i'm struggling to cope emotionally.

So a few days ago, after having no contact since i was 20 weeks pregnant, my ex-boyfriends (FOB) mother decided to contact me and asked to meet up. So today, I agreed to meet her for lunch to discuss - what I assumed would be- everything to do with the baby. Well no, apparently not. She basically decided to pretend the baby didn't even exist, even though i'm sat there at nearly 36 weeks pregnant with a bump that is more than obvious.

She didn't ask how the baby was doing, or how I was coping with everything now that her son (FOB) and I are not together, after he abandoned me and his unborn son at around 13 weeks. She also gave me a letter, which stated "I have to put my family and their feelings first, and this may be hard for you to see right now". How about my feelings? I'm 18, and having to deal with this pregnancy completely alone, being hospitalised three times due to complications, and you decide to pretend your unborn grandson doesn't even exist. Their family is totally rich, and I haven't received a single penny from any of them, nor have they asked if I need anything bought for the baby. I've had to buy absolutely everything for the baby myself, as my mother isn't financially stable enough to support the both of us (not that I would accept a penny from her anyway- her emotional support is more than enough and I have never been more thankful to have a mother like her!).

But what annoyed me the most, was the fact that she was completely open in the fact that they're thinking of moving to Dubai soon (I'm from the UK, and this is practically half way across the world). She didn't even take into consideration that they were about to have a grandchild, and their son was about to become a father- all she was worried about was that my ex would loose his job when they move. Yeah, don't worry about the son he's leaving behind.

I just feel so heartbroken, not for me, but for the innocent life that they are letting down. I feel like a terrible mother, because I can't provide the one thing a child should have- a father. I don't know what to do anymore, these last few weeks are really getting me down, and I just wish I had more people to turn too. It's amazing how much being pregnant has made me realise who my true friends are, and apparently, I don't have that many

If you managed to read this far down, then thank you for listening to me moan! I just wish I had a straight forward life sometimes. Who'd have thought a two and a half year relationship would turn into this, I guess some 'men' just aren't meant to be fathers.

 

[mstennischick]

wait what? what a disgusting person. like i've told a lot of the girls on this site, sue that mother effer for child support and make him stay out of your life! your son is way to beautiful and perfect for someone that horrible to be involved in his life, father, grand mother, whoever. EFF HER you've come so far, you are so much stronger than other teens because of all of this. You can do this, I promise!

 

[xforuiholdonx]

If this is the attitude his.mother has about the situation, then you are better off without that piece of shit and his money.

 

[JessicaaJadex]

Thank you girls, really needed to hear that! I honestly wish they would all just pack up and move to Dubai already, then I can focus 100% on my little man. Hopefully Christmas and New years will give me some sort of distraction until his due date, unless he decides to arrive early

 

[amytrisha]

What the EFF was the point in meeting up with you? Was she trying to rub something in? WTF.

So sorry you've been put through such crap by your ex, what absolute idiots!! One thing is definitely for sure, it's their loss - your gain! Forget how filthy rich they are, you don't want their dirty money, at least now they have no reason to be involved whatsoever - the quicker they jet off the better.

Your mum sounds amazing, it's great you've got such support at home! I'm sorry you feel so alone, I know how you feel though (despite having my OH) I don't have much family/true friends to true to. BnB is a brilliant support system, just remember we're always here to turn to even though it's slightly different. Plus as soon as bubs is here you'll be able to go to baby groups and meet more new mums in your area! Things WILL get better, chin up - your gonna be a mummy!!

Big big big hugss xx

 

[ClairAye]

Wow. You both sound better off without them, they're obviously not worth it if they can up and leave to another country!! So sorry they're being such dicks

 

[JessicaaJadex]

Thats exactly what I thought. It was the most pointless 'catch up' ever, because she just basically spoke about herself and her family the whole time, and informed me with subtle hints that they weren't going to be involved. She even told me that they have decided not to tell their extended family yet- er i'm 9 months pregnant, surely you've had plenty of time to tell them?! I think they must be ashamed of both me and the baby, which saddens me, because he is a part of their family.. whether they like it or not.

I'm just so thankful I have this site, you girls are seriously amazing support. Thank you

 

[amytrisha]

They should be ashamed of themselves and their son, not you and your DS! So when will they tell extended family, when you've popped? Ha they'll look like proper idiots then!

No need to thank, we're all here for each other. Gotta love BnB!

 

[Jennaxo]

Wow, him and his entire family sound like a bunch of asses who you do not need in your life, nor do you need in your LOs. Hold in their girl, it's hard doing it alone but it's amazingly rewarding, you can do it.

 

[skyesmom]

no wonder he backed out coming from a family like this. and i wouldn't exclude they're moving to dubai to "hide" themselves from the extended family because of your ex becoming a father soon - for people like that, the surface is all that matters. honestly, i'm not marveled your FOB ain't there, who knows how much he was brainwashed with shit coming from a mother like that. not only when you two got pregnant, but for ages before.

maybe she wanted to scare you from demanding any child support from him - either by hinting they are about to move away so you'd give up on asking and chasing them, or by making you feel so disheartened and offended that you don't wanna ask.

i personally can't stand abusive people like this who play a game in a way to make you hate the only right choice there is for you - and that is asking child support from your ex and his family IMMEDIATELY as it's his DUTY no matter what!
so she comes around for a chat like this to humiliate you to the point of you giving up on any rights you DESERVE to have (since without him you wouldn't be where you are now), so that they can get away with it, both money-wise, but moreover IMAGE-WISE, because who on earth should know that their precious little son got his gf pregnant and left her alone and now has to pay for child support?
(i feel they would die if only their tax accountant knew this!! imagine, even their postman would know, and their extended family and friends!!! aaaa!! the crown might fall down from their preppy arse heads!!! oh nooo!! how could they ever survive this!!!!)

...if i were you i'd get my stubbornest possible feet down on that B***H and demand child support from them (and even ask for the DNA test if needed to prove it). so no dubai could ever save them. not for the matter of revenge my dear.. but for the mere simple fact that you're vulnerable and alone and she abused it to get what she wants.

if there's something that makes me pissed is people picking on a pregnant woman thinking they'll get away with it because she is helpless (and teen in this case)!

stand up for your rights babe. what they want you to do is to hit on your pride and say "i'd rather die then ask for a penny of their shitty money". but the real dignity is to make them understand what their real responsibility here is, and how small embarrassing souls they are to put you down and abandon you like this.

 

[JessicaaJadex]

Thats exactly what she's trying to do- play a game. And i didn't even realise it until you said that! I'm just so thankful for all the support i've had from other people, including you guys. And honestly, it just makes me more determined to do well for my son, and show them that i CAN do this, with or without them. It's amazing how much I thought I knew their family, because we were all so close and they genuinely made me feel a part of it. But it just goes to show that you never really know a person as well as you think you do!

 

[skyesmom]

this forum is amazing regarding the support!

and in many many occasions in life, you'll find out who people really are, and who the real people in your life are, only when the shit hits the fan and you really need them to be there for you.

at least now you know what's up and you can act accordingly, still if i were you i'd defo try to get child support from your ex. it's the only fair thing. the saddest part is, they will all be so so ashamed about this one day. and that future ain't far too long as it may seem now.

 

[vermeil]

*big bugs*

I'm notre a teen but wanted to chime in. I agree with the others that FOB's family Sound like utter jerks. I understand not wanting any long term contact.but I think you have a responsibility to your baby to apply for child support. That money is to take care of your son.like others have said it sounds like they're trying to weasle out of it! Insist on obtaining their address here and in Dubai. Know your rights, be persistent .there are lots of support groups to help you figure it all out. FOB is responsible to that child for 18+ years.

I see too many young ladies who let FOB just walk away while their own lives are turned upside down. I'm not saying they can't provide for their child alone, just that you have to think long term

Thinking of you!

 

[JessicaaJadex]

Thank you guys. I will definitely be looking into applying for child support once the baby is here. I'd hate to see him get away with not paying, although he's adamant that I won't be receiving a penny from him, ha!

 

[MamaByrd]

Well, lucky for you, the law is more powerful than he is. So, he can continue on being a complete jerk, but in the end you're getting that money. I'm going through a situation that has to do with having to stick up for myself to get the money I deserve. And you need to do the same thing! Good luck and stay strong!

 

[x__amour]

I have a horrid MIL so I feel your pain. Don't let him get away though, make sure you get what you deserve from him. Big hugs sweetheart.

 

[mstennischick]

see this is how i see it. You WANT to sue them, not only because you need money to take care of your precious little one but also, they deserve it. That jerk doesn't just get to walk away like nothing happened while you're a single mother. You're better off without him in your life but you should at least sue him for child support. Kind of a way to get back at him, while getting money to support your baby!