Feeling empty

[Xbailey02X]

I'm new to this forum,

After a horrible 2 week wait(was told at 6 weeks scan no fetal heartbeat) after a rescan y day I was told I have had a missed miscarriage I'm booked in for a d&c tomorrow. I just feel so empty inside, this was not a planned pregnancy but I did want it all the same. It would have been my first child I'm 23, I don't know how to feel family keep saying I'm young I can always try again but I don't want to hear that in fact I don't feel I want to get pregnant again . My partner hasn't exactly been the most supportive as I know deep down he never really wanted it, i don't really have anyone to turn to. I just feel so low right now, although I want tomorrow to be over and done with it can't imagine how lost I'm going to feel after I really don't know what to do how did anyone else cope if they went through this. Thanks for listening to me vent x

 

[LacePrincess]

I'm so sorry for your loss Xbailey. {{{hugs}}} That wait must have been just horrible.

I don't really know if I have any useful advice. I've had 4 losses now and I totally know that empty feeling you're talking about. I just had my 4th loss in a row last week.....and you never really get used to it. At times the pain is still so agonizing I can't breathe.

There's no way around grieving though, you have to just make it through, one minute/hour/day/week/month and then time passes and you're okay. It'll always hurt but eventually the pain will be less intense. But I can't see around the corner yet after my last loss and it's perfectly okay to be in that state. Grieving takes time and it's not a linear progression.

For me I have to move on and plan the next steps and it at least makes me feel empowered. It's a bit of denial going on too but sometimes that works to get me to see a reason to keep pushing. And some mornings I want to do nothing but rage and cry and that's okay too.

Take it easy on yourself, be kind to yourself, and let yourself feel what you need to feel. And yes it's really unfair. I'm so very sorry again.

 

[Xbailey02X]

Thank you so much Lace princess your kind words have really helped. I'm so sorry you have had to go through it 4 times but the fact that you can still give me advice shows how strong you are, wish I had some one like you with me today

 

[LacePrincess]

{{{{Xbailey}}}} I'm very touched. Trust me though, I speak a big game and in person I'm falling apart too......I just happen to be stubborn and not know how to quit when I probably should!

Just remember, it is OKAY to not be okay! You don't have to be fine, just feel what you need to feel.

Lol sometimes I wish I could take my own advice though.

 

[Xbailey02X]

There's nothing wrong with being stubborn about something that is destined to happen

I had my D&c y day thought I would feel a lot more emotional than I am but I feel ok. My OH was with me every step of the way I thought he didn't care but I was so wrong at the end of day he lost a child too but he wants to try again I don't think I'm ready to just yet as I don't want to go through this again but I'm not going to lose hope that we will be moms in the near future

I wish you the best of luck with your next pregnancy you deserve to get your happy ending just don't give up especially with something as precious as this

Thanks for sharing your experience and feelings with me it has helped so much as no one really gets what it's like to lose a child in the way we have if ever you need to vent or talk I'm always here x

 

[LacePrincess]

Thanks xbailey. Many thoughts to you too! Don't be surprised if you're hit hard by feelings at random times....it comes and goes for me. Sometimes things are okay, and all of a sudden all the feelings come back....not to mention being triggered terribly by anything pregnancy/baby related. I still want to break my tv whenever I see an HPT commercial.

 

[Xbailey02X]

I know what you mean I saw a pampers advert and got so angry , I also work across from a baby store which doesn't help at all and a close friend is due her second baby any time now is want to be happy but I feel so jealous that it's not going to be me I don't want to feel like this with everything baby relate but I can't help it as I feel I have been robbed

 

[LacePrincess]

I know. It sucks and it feels like everyone is out to rub salt in the wound. I have the curse of constantly having neighbours get knocked up around me and it makes me so bitter, angry, and antisocial.