Feeling frustrated and sad

[JAJuly2013]

Hi ladies.
Just wanted to get this out. My DH is very supportive but being a man, he can't honestly really understand how I feel or why.

My goal was to BF for a minimum of 6 months. With my son, I only BF'd for 3-4 weeks because he had trouble latching on and I felt like I wasn't producing enough milk. He was always hungry. THat was 10 years ago and I was alone with no help. (was in the military and living across the country from my family)

This time around I'm married and have support, including a lactation consultant. So I figured things would work out so much better but in reality it's almost worse than before.

My dd was born with low blood sugar. I nursed her often in the hospital but the nurses said I had to supplement with formula to keep her blood sugar up. She eventually had to have an IV put in and we were in the hospital for 4 days.

By the last day my milk supply had come in and my dd had trouble latching on. When we got home, I tried pumping a little to see if it would help her and it did not. I was still engorged so I used heat pads and pumped more and tried again. No luck.

I went to see my lactation consultant and she gave us some helpful hints, including using a nipple shield as a tool to help her. It seemed to work but only for a short time. I've only been able to get her to latch on maybe 4 times total in the last week.

I've put myself on a pumping schedule for every 3 hours but I'm still not producing much. Maybe an ounce from each breast. I know that pumping doesn't quite stimulate the breast like a baby, but I figured by now I'd be making more milk.

So as of right now she is still getting both breast milk and formula. I hate it but part of me is ready to quit and its only been 2 weeks!

One minute I'm ready to throw in the towel and just give her formula and the next minute I'm determined to get my milk supply up and at least keep pumping. It's just so frustrating to be tied to a pump every 3 hours. I would much rather be "tied" to my baby every 2-3 hours instead.

Thanks for taking the time to read this. I feel like a loser and like I'm letting my baby down. I feel that breast feeding is the best way to go but I'm just struggling a lot right now. I miss that close feeling of bonding with her through nursing. It just really upsets me to see her get so upset when she can't find my nipple. I mean, it will be right there, in her mouth but it doesn't go far enough back so she isn't recognizing that its there. She get's so upset.

I've been trying skin to skin and just letting her lead the way but it is very rarely successful.

Not sure what to do from here.

 

[carbafe]

I just wanted to tell you that with DS1 he would cry and Russ and not latch and then when I was about to give up about 3 weeks in he just seemed to get it. I got so much conflicting advice and was so overwhelmed and I'm not even sure what worked. My only advice would be keep trying at the breast and try and look at the baby when pumping or pump when she is crying (just till milk comes down) as it can help milk let down. Have you checked for tounge tie ?

 

[Maxy1]

The amount that you pump (in the first few weeks) is not indicative of how much milk you actually have. If you are engorged you have enough milk.

It sounds like a latching problem, so you should start with the mechanics of latching. Does DD have a tongue tie or a lip tie? Both my kids were born with a lip tie. We got both lasered and BFing became a lot easier after that.

Ok, if all ok, then look at the latching process. I am sure your LC went through everything with you, but these are the tips I found helpful from my LC.

Take off your bra and look at your nipples and where they are pointing. They may be pointing in different places. (Me personally have one that points down and the other one points out towards the closest arm). Where they are pointing to is where your bubs face should be, their nose should meet the tip of your nipple and the breast should rest on the chin. The weight of the breast will push the chin down and open the mouth. Is your DD tucked in nice and close to your tum? She should be wrapped around your tum so her head has to go back to latch on to your breast. Think when you drink from a glass or bottle, you tilt your head back a bit!!

Ok so placement is good, now when DD opens her mouth push on the outside of the breast (thumb on areaola) and the nipple should flick down from the nose into her mouth, at the same time quickly pull baby's shoulders towards you so her head moves firmly onto the breast. She should take about 2/3 of your areaola into her mouth and her lips should be flared out to create suction.

It takes LOTS of practice for the both of you and two weeks is not really long enough to get the hang of it. So give yourself a break and relax about it. Your LO is getting enough food at the mo with the combi feeding so don't put so much pressure on yourself.

I combi fed my first for 7 weeks and still got to EBF eventually, so combi feeding is not the end of the BFing.

If you are still feeling engorged and not getting much pumping, try hand expressing. I always have more luck with hand expressing to get the flow going. It is important you keep some milk ticking through so you don't get plugged ducts so even a little milk is good.

I understand the wild swinging between giving up and keeping going. You need to do what is best for you and bubs. It is most important that you and bubs are happy

 

[angela98661]

Sending you hugs. I have noadvice but i understand

 

[JAJuly2013]

Thank you for the advise and support ladies. I appreciate it!

I'm so glad to know there is still hope for BF'ing!

Today, I was able to get her to latch on and nurse for 15 minutes and I am on !

I had just pumped and I decided to give it a try so I squirted some breast milk on my nipple while her mouth was open and my nipple was part way in her mouth and she latched right on!

I'm a happy momma right now!!

Oh- she was examined by my lactation consultant and she does not have lip tie or tongue tie but she her tongue kind of goes to the side a little and her body actually seems to angle to the right more. If that makes sense. It is easier for her to nurse on my right breast in the cradle or cross cradle position or the football hold on my left breast.

Speaking of my left breast, it appears to be drying up...when I pump I barely get anything out of it. NOt sure if I should just let it dry up and use the right breast or if I should try to get the supply up by pumping and letting her nurse from that side. Hmmmm...

 

[rachy01]

if you haven't already look up "flipple the nipple" kn youtube. its a technique to help latching. it workex with me. but also...there's no such thjng as perfect latch. you will find smug know it alks telling you your latch is wrong etc....just try flipple and keep going...don't unlatch the baby once they are on trying to get the mythical perfect latch. the baby will work out the most effective way to get milk out of you....every nipple is different and every babys mouth is different so it wobt always look the same

 

[Maxy1]

It is easier for her to nurse on my right breast in the cradle or cross cradle position or the football hold on my left breast.

Speaking of my left breast, it appears to be drying up...when I pump I barely get anything out of it. NOt sure if I should just let it dry up and use the right breast or if I should try to get the supply up by pumping and letting her nurse from that side. Hmmmm...

I had this with my first, he had a definite and enduring preference for the left breast. Be prepared to be lopsided if you let one side dry up. I don't know other women's experiences but my LH side was 2-3 cup sizes larger than my RH!! It makes it difficult to find nursing bra's that are supportive!! Maybe I am the extreme though.

This time round DD has a preference for my RH (which is still significantly smaller than the LH) so maybe I will even out now. BTW I didn't have give them a chance to even up much between bubs because I fed DS for the first few months I was prego too, so I don't know if it will even up by itself.

So happy things are getting better. It tends to do that, one day things just improve and become manageable and then after it gets better, sometimes with blips but still better.