Feeling Guilty - Need Support

[scottsbride]

Hi All,
I'm new here and looking for a little support. My DS is 27 days old. For the first two weeks we tried to exclusivly BF. Turns out, due to a number of reasons (DH's suck rythem, inverted nipples), I cannot exclusivly BF, DS was losing way too much weight.

So week three, we tried pumping and giving formula if DS was still hungry after he got the breastmilk...which he ALWAYS was...a new problem has arised...I'm not making enough milk for him, only 2oz every three hours (a problem my mom had with all three of her kids).

So this week we tried formula, and I pumped every 6-8 hours, getting 4oz. This was working GREAT! Until this morning, where after ALL night, I couldn't get 4oz, only 3 1/2oz and the this afternoon, I got even less, just under 3oz. I think my milk is starting to dry up.

So my dilema is...I could pump every three hours again to bring my milk back in, and do this once a week kinda thing, or switch completely over to FF....which I feel really guilty about.

Does anyone have any suggestions, or even a few kind words. DH and I have decided against drugs/herbs for my milk supply, so that is not an option.

Thank you all in advance

 

[elly75]

Didn't have much advice for you, hun, but didn't want to read and run.

Whatever you decide must be something you're comfy with. If you do go to formula only, please don't feel guilty or bad. The most important thing is that your little one is getting fed and thriving. Happy baby = happy mum (vice versa too)

 

[shaunanicole]

I'd say to make the switch over to formula. But that is just my opinion.

 

[Scally]

I think u should switch over, why put yourself through this? I know about the guilt, i had to give up after 4 weeks due to illness and i cried and cried, but formula is not poison, and u have given him a good start with some breastmilk x

 

[history_girls]

Having sobbed our way through breast feeding for two weeks (babay and I) I went to expressing and formula for a further two weeks. My LO had lost over the recommended 10% in the first week and was miserable. Then I gradually reduced the expressing and went over to ff. It was the best move we did, the tears stopped - from both of us and I felt able to go places and show off the baby!

You do feel guilty but as was said earlier happy mummy= happy baby - it really is true. Also with ff others can help you out. My OH, Sister and Mum all can feed her and give me a break!

 

[mumindub]

Completely feel for you. I tried to BF but never got my milk in - I got maybe 20 - 50mls out of me every 3 hours using an electric double breast pump and always had to top up with formula. Was so upset that couldn't BF as it never dawned on me that it was anything other than an option whether th BF or not. Plus guilt was awful - felt like was letting bubs down / not being a good mum.

Public health nurse encouraged me to pump and to keep trying as it was worth it but between that and bubs refusing me cause I had nothing to give him it was exhausting both physically and mentally. Eventually after a month of all this (which felt like an eternity) I spoke with a lactation consultant in the Coombe (who was so amazing). She said that she could tell me to pump every 2 hours to try and get my supply in but that to be honest I'd never get enough to satisfy bubs and that the most important thing was for me to enjoy him. Best advice ever. Went over to exclusive formula feed afterwards and haven't looked back. Will try to BF next time but have given up beating myself up over not being able to.

Best advice I can give you is put enjoying your DS as a priority and between that and making sure he is healthy you'll do a brill job.

Good luck xx

 

[Nanaki]

I been thru first 2 weeks miserable and crying with sore nipples and not able to provide enough milk when my son come off my boobs and i have pumped but eventually the milk going less and less. I decided to switch over to FF, i am very much happier and my son gains weight much better than on BF. You arent only one, there is more of women been thru this. Please dont continue BF if it makes you feel so miserable and unhappy, dont feel guilty to switch over to FF! xx

 

[NIfirsttimer]

its really a decision only you can make...
if you want baby to have Bm then what you said about pumping is the way to go. you need to pump every other hour until your supply is where it should be, then feed / pump 3 hrly max after that to maintain it (under normal circumstances)
if you feel formula is the best option for you then there is absolutley nothing to feel bad about, although i think it is normal to have those feelings... i know i did!

 

[jayne191284]

I breast fed for the first week but Ollie just couldnt latch on properly. I then expressed for the mext 4 weeks just making enough for him. But i was expressing upto 12 times a day. We didnt go out much and if we did it had to be planned like a military operation!
I couldnt go on like it. I started giving formula and still expressing but not as much so i stopped producing so much and it eventually dried up.

I felt SO guilty - like i had completly failed as a mother. This was due to the presure i had put on me to BF (even though i had wanted to 100% It justwasnt working)

Now i look at Ollie, he is happy and healthy and we have alot better time together

x

 

[Lucy_lu_84]

It's a decision only you can make!

i BF for 4 months and still felt guilty when I switched over, I think it is only natural. i didn't want to go down the pumping root, I would rather spend those 20 mins playing with my Lo or doing something in the house than Pumping. I think Pumping every 3 hours is quite limiting, I'd not want to go out.

however once u have built you supply up you could carry on. Does your LO latch on now? If so and you want to carry on BF put him to the breast at EVERY feed and then top up with formula as well as pumping. Your Body will soon learn it needs to make more.

good luck

 

[scottsbride]

Thanks everyone. I have decided to go exclusivly with FF, so I am weaning myself off the pump. I still have to pump every once in awhile as my breast get quite sore, it's becoming less and less frequent. Already I'm starting to enjoy DS more as I'm not as stressed. Thanks again!

 

[Jkelmum]

i pumped exclusivly for 14 wks and its hard work ...your supply is still getting established and if u want to continue with breastmilk u need to pump every 3 hrs day and night to so your body knows u still need milk for baby...there are things u can take to boost your supply ...fennegreek is one of them ....asking BF section they will be more then willing to help you ..having said that if u decide formula is the way forward there is no way you should feel guilty at all you have to do whats best for you and baby as a happy mummy equals happy baby xxx

 

[Jkelmum]

sorry i didnt read the whole thread before replying