feeling like a bad mother

[alicecooper]

I weighed my DD yesterday and took her height. She's 4 foot 3 and weighs 5 stone 9lbs.
Apparently that makes her 9lbs over normal BMI, and puts her in the obese category.

I'm horrified tbh. I knew she was somewhat overweight, but the fact that it was there staring me in the face the word OBESE. I didn't think it was that bad.

I feel horrendous.

I always try to limit my kids to ONE treat a day and no more, but I guess their food portion sizes are probably the same size as an adult, and they all get spoilt with loads of crap when they go to visit MIL (twice a week). She knows I don't like them having too much junk food but she still gives them it anyway.

I'm always made to feel as though I'm being harsh saying no when they're at her house, so I've just been letting it happen.

I feel horrific though My daughter is obese. I always vowed I'd never allow that to happen. My DH is obese and for a long time he could barely walk even a few steps. I always said my kids would be normal weight and eat healthily...

I'm seriously putting my foot down now. And my DS2 who hates eating vegetables is getting them whether he likes them or not.

As it stands I can even see DS1 gaining a bit of a tummy, though he doesn't look overweight I think he could get that way if we're not careful.

DS2 is definitely normal weight but that's only because he's such a fussy eater.

I don't know what replies I'm expecting here. I just needed to let it out I guess because I feel like an absolutely terrible mother

This is Lydia last month :

 

[Amy_T]

I am in a similar situation with my daughter so I feel your pain. I struggle as she loves her food (like me!) but she is also incredibly active (dancing, swimming etc). I have been trying to reduce portion sizes, things like making a sandwich with only 1 slice if bread, giving half a packet of crisps, 1 scoop of ice cream less, less potatoes etc... Just less in general really! She loves food in general so also eats all the good stuff very well.... It's not easy but you might find with a few simple steps as your daughter grows taller it will all even out...

She's gorgeous btw. X

 

[princessellie]

First of all, she is obviously not obese. BMI is not terribly accurate. Maybe cut down her portion sizes a little if you are worried or encourage her to do more exercise. Park every day for an hour maybe? Don't stress too much x

 

[SerenityNow]

Honey, the BMI guidelines for kids work differently than the do for adults. For adults it is just a straight-up weight vs height, but for kids they do weight vs height and plot it vs other kids the same age. Obese/over/underweight is determined by their percentile. A kid whose body stays in "younger" proportions longer or takes on "older" proportions earlier is going to be labeled as having a weight problem that is probably going to sort itself out as they get older and their peers catch up. Kids grow and their bodies mature at all different rates but it evens out eventually. I have a friend whose son was 6ft 2in when he was 12 years old. Obviously he reached his adult height sooner than most kids do, he's not going to be 9 ft tall someday.

I think it makes sense to be fairly strict about healthy eating, forming good habits now will help keep them healthy for the rest of their lives. But you have not done anything wrong. Don't let a poorly applied label make you feel bad.