Feeling like a bit of a bad mum + developing..

[Tilly]

Sorry if this sounds really dramatic, and don't get me wrong.. im really proud of your little ones when they crawl/stand up/walk but there are so many threads around at the min of little ones doing all this stuff early or at a 'normal' age and I feel like I must be doing something wrong? My boyfriends mum told me ages ago when Bethanie wasn't crawling that her boys crawled at 6 months.. and now I see other poepleslittle ones doing the same
Bethanie stood up fairly early, but didn't pull herself up properly until about 10 months, didn't crawl until 11 months and didn't walk until 16 months!!
Now im feeling pressure to potty train etc, but am worried where to start as I feel low at the minute!

Also, I feel Bethanie doesn't love me as much recently. If she cries/wants to play she often runs to nanny and grandad.. (we live with them) or if I call her she won't answer etc and has a huge tantrum if I take her from them. It's making me feel terrible.. when im alone with her shes very affectionate, we have mummy/baby time and I love her to bits, but is this normal at her age?
She bit me earlier as well when she was cuddling me. I know she loves me, but I ahh!!!!! don't know I just feel shit.

 

[Serene123]

I think you start potty training when their nappies are dry after naps? Because they have control? I'm no expert I saw it on supernanny

Caitlyn prefers nanny to me this past week and it's horrible!

 

[~KACI~]

Ye[ i would so pretty normal...its called the terrible two's -the stage where LO's discover independence and how to defy mummy and daddy!!

Don't worry about the potty training and let her lead the way...and definatly leave it til after xmas and new year.

And i know youhave probably heard it before but they all develop differently!! Not every baby on here is crawling at 6months...you only notice that because you worry about it.

Hugs to you x x

 

[littlelady]

didnt want to read and run but my son is younger so not got to that stage yet but maybe she is confused as to who to go to at home?? potty train when shes ready try encourage it by having the potty out etc but she will do it in her own time x

 

[littlelady]

oh and just wanted to add some babies on here are walking now and they are younger than my son he cant even stand up on his own yet just cruising round the furniture x

 

[Tilly]

didnt want to read and run but my son is younger so not got to that stage yet but maybe she is confused as to who to go to at home?? potty train when shes ready try encourage it by having the potty out etc but she will do it in her own time x

I don't think shes confused, she knows im mummy and comes to me when shes really upset but sometimes my boyfriends mum seems to do things I want to do, like for a while they would always cuddle her with her milk and I think they got used to it and thought it was their right - where as recently, i've put my foot down a lot more and taken her upstairs for a cuddle with me. Im in a hard place living here, as if I take Bethanie - it's seen as me being funny, there has been tension with me and my boyfriends mum..
I feel im constantly treading on egg shells, of course I want her to be close to them, but I want her to want me. My boyfriend tells me not to worry and that she is the same with him, but it just annoys me..
Don't get the wrong idea, they don't do anything for her.. I do it all, it's just in the evenings that I really notice it.
maybe im being over protective..?

 

[coccyx]

No NO, please do not feel sad, you are doing nothing wrong. Childrens development is a marathon not a race. Think your daughter has hit the terrible twos!! Try to push their independenceand do not like the word 'no'. You as the main carer and disciplinarian, will be the one saying 'no' so she will go to someone who will say 'yes'. As for the potty training WELL, do not rush it, she is still young. Tried to start with my 21/2 year old and she flatly refuses to sit on potty or toilet! I will try again in a few weeks, no point in getting myself in a state. I have 4 children and they are all very different.

 

[littlelady]

yeah she has only just turned 2 my friends son is still in nappies at near;y 3 alot of children are some are out of nappies by 18 months every childs different x

 

[missjess]

I know people say that a lot, but every babies is different ! As for the tantrums etc... I've read a few things about the terrible 2s, it sounds like it! They say the terrible 2s is the teenage year of a toddler...

 

[oOKayOo]

Terrible twos sweetie

And for potty training just let her lead the way, i did this with Carly after being fed up trying to force her too.
and believe it or not she took ONE DAY (when i let her lead the way) to become potty trained! 2 and a half year oold , yes later then some but well worth the wait as she did it just like that

 

[mrs.beanz]

My children developed at different ages. My oldest was easy to potty train and it happened earlier than my youngest. My youngest just wasnt interested until she was a little over 3 years old. My oldest crawled and walked late. Pretty much around the age you mentioned. I think she was about 17 months before she started and then she just took off. Dont let people pressure you or make you feel like you are doing something wrong. Every child is different and the fact that you dont pressure your child to do things at the age people "think" they should do them isnt a bad thing....to be honest I think our mothers exaggerate. They make it sound like their child or other children walked out of the womb which kind of goes up there with the "walked 18 miles to school in a snowstorm" stories. As long as you and doctors arent concerned then I wouldnt worry about it.

I hit a point in both of my childrens life where I thought they didnt want me anymore or I felt like the bond that I wanted with them was fading but rest assured they will always need and want mommy.

 

[Tezzy]

hiya hun,

dont forget that althought bethanie wasnt walking till 16 months, she can talk a heck of a lot more than other kids!

as for potty training... just wait until she is ready. if you try to push her she could go backwards and be in nappies for even longer.

and i know how you feel when bethanie wants to cuddle other people, rhys hardly ever will cuddle me if there are other people in the room. it doesnt really bother me because i have ffion who has no choice but to cuddle me lol.

i hope the situation gets better soon x

 

[lorrilou]

sounds like terrible twos, perfectly normal!!!

as for the potty training like the others she'll do it when she's ready. nicole did things really early, walked at 9mths etc.... but was still in nappies till her 3rd birthday, she went to nursery with no nappy on and has never worn one since. Few accidents along the way but thats fine.

 

[Christine33]

i know what you mean. i never post what Ali is getting up to as i get a bit paranoid if someone's baby is doing more than him - so i have stopped looking at posts that may fuel this!!!!! All bubbas develop differently as they are unique little beings.



Christine
XXXX

 

[princess_bump]

sweetie i don't have any experience of toddlers (yet lol) but it sounds to me like you're doing a fab job with her, its so hard, especially you're living arrangments, i agree, go with her with regards to potty training, we have always let maddi lead the way and seems to work out x

 

[Tilly]

Aww thanks everyone for the lovely posts, this thread has made me feel warm and grateful inside - I know that sounds really stupid but im having a bit of a hard time at the moment and feel quite down recently, so you won't believe how much a few words can help.

Thank u

 

[Stef]

Oh hun it must be hard living with your OH parents too and not having your own space. I think Bethanie is just at that age. She'll grow out of it. and every one is right they all develop at diferent stages but I dont think you really have any concerns.

Hope your feeling better soon hun

x

 

[sam's mum]

The problem with talking to people about their kids' development is that you only ever hear about the things that they do early so you always end up feeling like they're all so much more advanced! I get that too, especially with my mum's friends talking about grandchildren - I mentioned that Sam was now pulling himself up and I just got 'oh, well my grandson was doing that at 6 months!'...as if I have no right to be proud! We know 3 other boys all born within 2 weeks of Sam and they are SO different to each other in the things they like to do/have done first/still can't do so it's really hard to compare anyway, as where one child is ahead with one thing they'll be behind with others.

And as for the going to other people thing - Sam spends all his time with me and you should see the reactions other people get when he sees them...as soon as my OH comes through the door he just has this huge smile on his face, after being so grumpy with me all afternoon. It's hard being the person who's always around as you don't get that same excitement but I don't think it's anything more than that.

Let me know if you ever need a night out or a coffee somewhere! x

 

[Tilly]

Thanks girls and sams mum thanks, I could really do with a night out or something.. i've had enough!

 

[sam's mum]

Let me know when you're free and I'll tell OH he's having a night in with Sam! x