Feeling like I've failed

[Kittenscales]

My little boy is now 22 weeks. I EBF for the first 4 months and in the last month introduced a bedtime formula top up and some solids.

A few days ago he got a tummy bug, solids were making it worse so we eased right off them. I tried to replace his lunch and dinner with boob feeds again. However my supply has dipped and I wasn't making enough milk. I have been persevering with trying to bf.

The last few nights he has not been sleeping, really grisly and off. Took him to the doctor as I thought it might be an ear infection.

Nothing wrong, doc reckons he was just hungry as solids fill their tummies right up. I tried giving him a bottle of formula at lunch instead of his solids. He ended up taking 9oz (he is only 14lbs). Poor wee mite must have been starving as he is happy as larry now.

I'm now conceding that our breastfeeding journey may be coming to an end. Hopefully he will continue to take his night and morning boob.

I just feel like I've failed by having to give him formula. Nothing against formula but I had wanted to BF till 6 months.

Maybe this is the wrong forum but I just neeeed someone to reassure me or make me feel less guilty. I don't know how to get him back to boob and up my supply. Pumping hasn't worked and when I offer boob he just cries and screams at me now

 

[stephie_corin]

You haven't failed. Regardless of how you end up feeding him now, you've done an amazing job to get this far!

But, if you really do want to keep breastfeeding it isn't too late. I wouldn't drop to morning and night feeds at this stage or your milk is likely to dry up. Perhaps you could keep feeding on demand and offer formula top ups?

There are some mums who combi feed on this forum, hopefully one of them will swings past and give you some advice.

Best of luck! X

 

[Millnsy]

My lo started refusing boob at about 4 months and she was very fussy so it might be more a phase and less about your supply. I wasn't supplementing either so it wasn't that she was showing a preference if that makes sense. For about 3 months she hardly fed at all in the day but fed 3 times at night! Solids didn't make a difference either. I would say as long as he is putting on weight then the fussiness could be down to something else ie teething or generally under the weather.

I disagree with your doctor that solids full them up. In the early days a few spoons of veg or rice contain very little calories. I have also heard it say that food is for fun before they are one. He should be getting most of his calories from milk.

I see so many threads when people always jump to the conclusion that breast feeding is the culprit when things go wrong and it's hardly ever the case. Your lo probably guzzled the bottle of formula because its easier to get milk out of a bottle than the boob. I expect if you offered 8oz of expressed milk he would have drunk all of that too.

You need to follow your instinct but my advice is to have faith in your body, offer boob as often as you can and keep going. I had to feed my lo in the same place in her room where it was calm and quiet and helped her build an association with quiet time and nursing. She is 11 months old now and still feeds morning mid morning mid afternoon bedtime and sometimes once in the night.

 

[tristansmum]

No advise but I wanted to say you have not failed. You are doing amazing. I only managed 4 days of bf with my first so 4 months is brilliant in my opinion! Please don't feel bad about the formula. We all do what we must to make sure our children are fed. In that instant the only way was formula. I'm sure the ladies on here can tell you what to do to up your supply x

 

[starshinebby]

I'd try some lactation cookies to boost your supply. Also Mother's Milk Tea. Feed on demand and I'm sure your supply will begin to overflow with milk! https://www.drmomma.org/2010/08/lactation-cookies-recipe-increasing.html

Chin up. You have not failed! You are doing great by your baby!

Would type more but I currently have my son on the boob, lol. But that should be enough. Hope things start looking up for you!

 

[Jendra]

No mother who feeds her child is a failure. It's not cookies and ice cream or Coke. It's formula and it's nutritious.

Way I see it is breast milk is like going to an organic farm and picking fresh vegetables. Formula is like buying produce at the grocery store. One is more ideal but you can be very healthy and thrive on the other too.

 

[TheNewMrs]

OP remember your body works on supply and demand, it may take a few days for your body to reach the demand but you'll get there. You doctor is wrong about solids though. Breastfeeding is SO much more calorific than solids. Your baby wont need solids till 6 months at least, and if they have developed pincer grasp and can sit up unaided for a few mins at a time. Until then their little bodies are just not ready. The top ups will be fine, and if you feel like they work for you then go with it, just make sure your not giving more and more if you want your breastfeeding journey to continue, you will need to allow the demand on your body to meet babys needs. x

No mother who feeds her child is a failure. It's not cookies and ice cream or Coke. It's formula and it's nutritious.

Way I see it is breast milk is like going to an organic farm and picking fresh vegetables. Formula is like buying produce at the grocery store. One is more ideal but you can be very healthy and thrive on the other too.

This makes me so sad. Breastfeeding it not something "extra", its normal. Everyday, healthy. You can buy organic at the store too. Formula is like buying readymeals in my eyes. Full of stuff we don't need, not ideal, but you can get by on it. (NOT DIRECTED TOWARDS THE OP AT ALL), I just have a personal issue with formula marketing and how it makes formula the Norm and breastfeeding something superior. Its not. Breastfeeding is the norm, and formula is just less than that.