Feeling quite down

[dustbunny]

Hey ladies,

Ive been feeling really really down lately, to the point I could easily cry right now and curl up in my duvet till tomorrow and I haven't felt that way in ages. It is silly things really which have all come together to become one giant ball of meh. FOB hasn't contacted me since I phoned about the truce and so I have blocked him on everything, I figure if he can't be bothered then nor can I anymore. But I am constantly being asked for friends and family if he has contacted me etc etc, on a daily basis and it is like I can't escape him! I wouldn't even know he has spent about £2000 on camera equipment if it weren't for my sister.

And then there is my sister. Today was a big deal for me, I wanted to be so happy today and yesterday was 30 weeks down, 10 to go and today we were meant to be going for a family meal. She was fine this morning and just before we were going to leave she decided she didn't want to go as she had taken 10 puffs from her inhaler and felt 'out of sorts'... when I was 23/24 weeks we had a family meal which she again ruined. A couple weeks ago I was worried about the baby not moving and she said she would rather go for a drive later and so didn't want to wake up and go with me. She keeps giving her annoying opinion on names [rudely!]. Yesterday she said I looked bigger than the day before and when I explained how I would lose weight she screwed her face up as if it was never going to happen. She doesn't help out around the house, doesn't clean or cook and it is left down to me to do. She spends all day in her room stuffing her face and then complains about how she can't lose weight. She is proud to be on antidepressants and sleeping pills... constantly reminding mum how she wants to hurt herself or wish nasty things upon herself... all for attention.

If I complain about my weight they have a go at me, both saying "what did you expect when you got pregnant." I have my nan saying "Do you wish you had waited to have a baby?" and my sister just running off to mum when I say I don't want her at the birth because of her melodramatics and then turning around the saying that she is going... it is no ones decision but mine and I am made to feel bad for not wanting her there.

She does this with everything! At graduation she decided not to go and is jealous of the fact I have a degree and she doesn't but she doesn't see the work I put into it. She reminds me that shes going to get a job in her chosen career as a snide attack on the fact I work in another field to my degree, regardless of the fact I worked hard to get my jobs and I love them.

I am sorry for the long LONG rant but I feel so shit and know that when the baby is here it will only get worse. Shes already said shes jealous of the baby and that she wont be the baby anymore... shes 20.

 

[Crumbsx]

I'm sorry your sisters being like that, she just seems immature, some people do take a while to grow up, in the meantime I guess all you can do is ignore her (which I know is easier said than done)

Have you explained to family and friends that you would rather not discuss FOB? Sometimes people think you'd like to know everything about there lives, I don't know why but they see it as their duty

As for it getting worse when you have your baby, maybe it won't. For one, I assume you'll be that wrapped up in caring for your baby and slowly falling in love with it you won't notice the negative things going on around you. And maybe, your sister will grow up a bit once it's here and realise she has a new role in the family as a caring auntie?

You will lose weight once your babies here, because if nothing else you'll lose 6-10lbs of baby, along with your fluid etc! So they know nothing

Happy 30 weeks! I hope the next 10 weeks go fast and well for you and I hope you feel abit better soon.

 

[dustbunny]

I'm sorry your sisters being like that, she just seems immature, some people do take a while to grow up, in the meantime I guess all you can do is ignore her (which I know is easier said than done)

Have you explained to family and friends that you would rather not discuss FOB? Sometimes people think you'd like to know everything about there lives, I don't know why but they see it as their duty

As for it getting worse when you have your baby, maybe it won't. For one, I assume you'll be that wrapped up in caring for your baby and slowly falling in love with it you won't notice the negative things going on around you. And maybe, your sister will grow up a bit once it's here and realise she has a new role in the family as a caring auntie?

You will lose weight once your babies here, because if nothing else you'll lose 6-10lbs of baby, along with your fluid etc! So they know nothing

Happy 30 weeks! I hope the next 10 weeks go fast and well for you and I hope you feel abit better soon.

Thank you so much for such a lovely reply. Made my day

I've spoken with my mother about it all and she thinks my sister won't really change or grow up till she has to go to uni in September. I think you might be right about things getting better once baby gets here as everything will change and so will my focus. Can not wait to fit back into my old clothes... didn't know how much I would miss them which sounds pretty sad in itself!

Thanks, I hope the next 7-10 weeks hurry up as I have got quite big as I am and am beginning to hate doing acrobatics to put socks on. Hehe!

 

[Crumbsx]

Well at least you'll only have a few months of putting up with your sister before she goes to uni? I know it's not the best

Honestly your focus will change and it will be for the better, you'll see the silly way your sisters behaving as pathetic and the least of your worries, as you have more important things to consentrate on. You will have a little baby who relys on you, and you alone it puts everything into perspective.

Lol it doesn't sound sad at all! I was the same at your stage of pregnancy, you feel like a big elephant type thing, as you drape clothes on yourself that's how I felt! I didn't feel like maternity clothes were flattering aha. But honestly, I put on over two stone while pregnant, and I've lost just under two stone already (it's only been 11 weeks) and I fitted into my old jeans by the first week. It's possible

I hope they go quick for you too, because I know in the last few weeks it really does drag! Have you got everything prepared? Like your hospital bag, all your baby's things ready, making the most of your independence while you can haha and making a birth plan? Doing little things once a week may keep you busy and make the time go a little quicker for you.

Acrobats to put socks on? Lol bless you, honestly the day when you can put socks on like a normal person will be the best day of your life! But do make the most of using your bump to balance your plate on when eating, because when it's gone it's upsetting (please tell me I'm not the only one who did the plate balancing thing? Haha)

Glad your feeling a little better

 

[BadassMom]

I agree your sister sounds very immature, and it sounds like she's doing everything in her power to shift all the attention back on her. I also agree that it will be better once you have the baby and your sisters issues won't seem nearly as important.
I hate when people bring up my FOB, I'm trying my best not to think about him and it seems like everyone else thinks that's all I want to talk about.
Only ten weeks to go! That's wonderful, congrats!