Feeling really upset :(

[MumToBe2012]

So I'm still getting things for the baby who's due in six weeks. I don't really talk to FOB that much atm but he's being involved in the baby's life. Anyway, I asked him whether he'd contribute to costs like that he could pay half of the pram to which he replied that he had prams and that he'd got everything.

I know I should be happy about it, but I'm not. It makes me feel like a bad parent because I've not got everything and that I can't afford everything because I had to ask him- though part of the reason I asked him is because he's FOB and I thought it would be better to equally pay costs and having two of everything seems a bit daft. Also scares me because when the baby's here I can see me feeling like crap everytime I get something for the baby and him outdoing me somehow.

I've not felt the happiest in my pregnancy because if I'm honest I'm finding it hard dealing with the fact I'm gonna be a single parent but this makes it harder, that we're gonna have everything duplicated when it would be easier to get everything once and share it between us. With the type of person he is, the stuff is most likely been given to him but just feel upset that he didn't even have the decency to tell me he's gonna get stuff for when she's with him.

In the few times we have spoken, the conversations haven't been great - he rudely text me about a month ago saying he wanted a double barrell last name for the baby after not speaking to me for the first seven months of my pregnancy. He also made sure I was aware he has the same rights as me as soon as his name is on the bc. He wanted a scan picture which I was more than happy to give him - but I gave it him through his car window outside my house like I was a drug dealer or something.

It's probably just my pregnancy hormones making me feel like crap and blowing everything out of proportion but just finding it all so hard and I'm trying to be fair and not argue, but it's becoming so difficult.

 

[Laura2919]

I'm sorry hun you don't need to feel like a bad parent cos you haven't got everything. Why on earth would he go out and buy a buggy when you need one? I never really understand the point of having two items, there is only one child so when they are using one of the items they won't be using the other! So really when he has your LO for a night, day or whatever you've arranged why don't he just use the buggy he would have gone halves with. sometimes I think they are designed to cause the utter most disctruction!

If you still have some bits to buy them maybe you'll have to budget and try and go for something cheaper. Don't let him affect you though it is exactly what he wants.

I know that FOB's family have kept some things that are the girls but they don't use them much cos they only spend 4 nights a month with them!

 

[jemmie1994]

FOB bought a pram for at his house too while we were still together which really confused me as i travel by bus anyway so would already have had my pram with me when i took LO to visit....was only later i found out he intended for LO to stay there half the week...i was never informed of this his aunty only told me after we split :S
be very careful if he's already banging on about same rights etc he may have a similar plan if he pushes you for more then your comfortable with dont be afraid put him straight!