feeling sad about co-sleeping...

[JellyBeann]

my mum is coming over today, and she just rang me to discuss when she's getting here etc...and she asked how Ollie slept last night (He's been teething and waking a bit in the night), anyway...she said "you'd better start putting him in his cot, or he'll never go in his bed!" and I just told her he would when he's ready...she then went on to say..."ali (my aunty) did it with Beth, and she wouldn't go in her own bed 'til she was 4" my defense to that was, well, it's either him sleep with me and we both sleep all night, or put him in his cot, and he wakes 5 times and stresses himself and me out! I dunno what else to say to convince her it's not going to spoil him or ruin his sleep!? Anyone got any links to articles for me?

 

[Hayley90]

To be honest hun, if she doesnt agree with it/refuses to agree with it, she wont come around to the idea even with evidence! I just dont talk about it to people who will try and "prove me wrong" iykwim?

I'd just say you are doing what works for you now, and will face the consequences (as she thinks there will be some!) when the time comes around.

Its a shame you have to explain yourself, for something that is completely natural and the most comfortable thing for babies to do - sleep with mummy.



eta... this link is what Trumpetbum posted further down the page... https://www.facebook.com/note.php?note_id=101949363196728&id=134844053221572 its quite good at dispelling any "clingy baby" myths...might help ?

 

[JellyBeann]

Cheers hun...I don't bring the subject up but she brought it up this time...it just made me sad that's all...

 

[Hayley90]

dont be sad about something that you think is right for you and your baby

 

[JellyBeann]

I'm not sad about the actual co-sleeping, just what my mum said about it!?

 

[xerinx]

My lo co slept until 3 months then decided he wanted to be in his cot!! But last night he ended up in bed with me but today he still went down for a nap in his cot! Its not going to hurt them its about feeling safe and secure untill they develop independance in my opinion!

You just do whatever feels right for you hun!!

 

[Kaites]

Here's one of my favourite links (sorry if it's the same as Hayley's- my computer was giving me grief trying to open hers!) to help arm you with info

https://www.askdrsears.com/html/7/T071000.asp

Sorry to hear your mum wasn't understanding about the co-sleeping. I sometimes wonder if everyone our parents' ages who go on about "you'll never get him/her out of your bed" have forgotten what it's like to have a teething baby, etc. Hope your visit was okay

 

[DueMarch2nd]

yep! i get the same from mom! but i know loads of girls who have put LO straight into their own bed at like 12-14 months or so and they loved it and sleep great now! I plan to skip the cot all together as well (bloody waste of space it is now!) and go straight to bed around a year old if he seems ready of course

 

[JellyBeann]

Awh thanks guys, I'm gonner read up a bit later on! x

It's madness how people think they'll be clingy and never sleep in their own beds...It's not like he's 16 and creeping into the bed with me at night is it? He's a baby for goodness sake! ahah...turned into a rant at the end there!

 

[ellie]

Aww hon I know its sad that others we hope will be supportive aren't .. especially when we love what we're doing!
I would tend to agree that if someone doesnt agree, nothing we say would change their minds ... I'd just say, there is loads of evidence / studies to say that it makes for secure babies, better sleep and good adjustment - you wouldnt need to go into what that is - and that you are happy with what yolure doing and you are not discusisng it furhter. Although you are aware that she means well and is thinking of you and LO etc.
Its also quite sad that it is the most natural thing in the world, that humans have done for milennia, and still do in some cultures, that its only recently its been seen as not good in our culture. A few generations ago your mum would have been sleeping with her baby too.
Hope it goes ok!

 

[lynnikins]

im only wary of co-sleeping when it ends up being constantly giving the child everything it needs and fostoring that kind of issue ( not targeted at anyone in this thread or on this forum its something ive observed from my MIL) as that can be a problem my MIL is bent over backwards trying to keep my SIL happy to the point that MIL asks others to modify things about themselves for the sake of SIL's mood and SIL is 13! and still climbs into mummys bed everynight!!! and has a tantrum like a 4 yr old if shes not allowed.

that being said my 2 yr old is sleeping in our bed at the moment hes having a number of development stages happening atm and if hes in his bed ( in our room ) then he is up and down from 3am till i give up and get up with him

 

[mackenzie]

My brothers and I co slept with my parents, and I obviously cant remember MY transition from family bed to y own, but I remember my brothers, and it was smooth. We never had any problems with our independence as kids or adults. I actually didnt plan to cosleep with my own child, but it just happened naturally and it working for us. I have no intention of telling my MIL that we are cosleeping because I know she'll be a right pain in the a** about it. I think she sees it as tantamount to sending your child to play in the traffic.

 

[Seraphim]

H won't co-sleep anymore... that's sad

She gets too excited to sleep in our room/bed. Started a few weeks after she went into her own room