Feeling sad and scared

[KatyKat]

So, I'm now 7 weeks gone. I have a 3 year old, but had two mc's before I had her (5 and 7 weeks) and another after I had her at 10 weeks. I had an early scan this time at 6 weeks due to the previous problems, and there was a heartbeat, but I've been there before........

I feel so sad that I see so many other women enjoying their pregnancies, when for me it's a time that's filled with utter dread that something will go wrong. I am literally wishing my life away as all I want it to make it to 12 weeks safely, but the four weeks since I discovered I was pregnant feel like they have taken 10 years it pass

How do other people cope with this? Right now I am literally terrified that every time I go to the toilet I'm going to be confronted with blood........

I'm due to have another scan next Monday and even that seems like an age away?

To make matters worse my daughter has suddenly developed an obsession with having a little brother or sister, and it's making me feel so awful that I might not be able to give her one, when there's nothing in the world I want more.

 

[george83]

Massive hugs to you sweetie, Ive only suffered one miscarriage and as a result this pregnancy has been horrible. To make it worse I suffered bleeding at 8 weeks and again from 10 weeks to 12 weeks. I kept holding out for my 12 week scan thinking I'd be able to relax after that but unfortunately it didn't make any difference. I'm now 39 weeks though so try to think positive and know that there are people on here who understand if you need somebody to talk too x x

 

[Kasey84]

I understand how tough this is. My first pregnancy ended in missed miscarriage at 14 weeks. I'm now almost 26 weeks pregnant again and it's been a struggle. I worried constantly and even had trouble bonding with the baby for the first half of my pregnancy. Since having my 20 week anatomy scan and seeing that all is well, I've relaxed a little, but the worry and fear isn't completely gone. It's overwhelming to worry all the time and to fear seeing blood everytime you use the bathroom. Its sad to feel robbed of the joy that people assume a pregnant woman experiences.

My only advice is to take things one day at a time. Try to enjoy the milestones and good appointments, while accepting that pregnancy after loss is going to be hard. In the early weeks I refused to think or talk about my pregnancy much. It sounds terrible, but it kept my mind off everything, which essentially kept me from obsessing and worrying every second of the day. When I did think about it and worry I talked to my oh, family or friend. Just saying the words out loud helps sometimes.

Sending big hugs and positive thoughts for a happy and healthy pregnancy!

 

[patch2006uk]

My advice is to just try and enjoy the pregnancy. You are pregnant today, and that is a good thing. No-one can promise what tomorrow will bring. I lost my son during labour, so there's no 'safe point' for me until he's born. It's been a very trying pregnancy so far, and I doubt the next few weeks will get any easier, but trying to enjoy each day for what it is has helped me get through the last few months (although I don't think I've ever been as nervous as I was when I was sat waiting for my 12 week scan. It felt like my heart was going to explode)

I hope all goes well for you. I do think there's something especially hard about previous early losses, as there is so little that the medical profession can do to help. Take care

 

[dairymomma]

I've been there far more often than I like to think. I'm there right now in fact. I'm expecting my 3rd child but it was right after 2 back-to-back miscarriages last year and 4 total since my daughter was born. I've had 8 losses altogether and despite all the testing and my two kids being born full-term, no one can tell me why it keeps happening. It's terrifying to be pregnant after a loss and even harder after recurrent losses but you just have to get thru each day one step at a time. I've been writing in a journal, talking to a trusted friend/therapist, and seeing my doctor every 2-3 weeks instead of the usual 4-5 weeks. I've had issues with this pregnancy so far (spotting, bleeding, clotting, etc.) but each time I see baby, it's doing just fine. I'm hopeful I'll make full-term but some days it's a struggle. So know you def aren't alone in feeling like this. There's plenty of us in the same boat.