Feeling weak again.....

[WhiteGeisha]

deleted

 

[mamashakesit]

Honey...we have so close of a situation. I'm even due just a month after you on November 11th.

My ex actually WANTED this child. We planned it. He has left me 3 times already for the same woman (who is really just an alcoholic party pal). He is the same way...happy and nice to me until we have the slightest disagreement over something and then he dumps me and runs back to her again and says if that's the way it's going to be, he wants nothing to do with the baby.

I STILL can not guarantee that I wouldn't take him back. I don't know how old you are but I'm 32 and this is my first child. I've prided myself in the last 10 years on not getting involved with losers and being picky about who I have kids with and not letting any guy treat me like sh*t, but now that I'm having a baby, his baby, it changes things...I would give anything to make us a family....because that's all I want. It's embarrassing as hell to say, but it's true.

The other girls here tell me that pregnancy is the hard part and the payoff comes when the baby is here. And this is very hard isn't it? Harder than anything I've ever gone through. I get teary eyed or sad or cry every day, knowing that my baby's father just doesn't care...and he doesn't GET it either...so frustrating and so hard to fathom.

I hope we keep in touch...our situations are so similar and our due dates are so close, we can help each other through it until our babies are here. I try to keep my mind on that prize every day and work towards that.

 

[frankyzw]

...... I try to keep my mind on that prize every day and work towards that.

I agree with this. All your focus should be on LO. It's difficult but as time passes, you'll find happiness again. LOs change everything for the better so it'll only be his loss.Why cry for someone who doesn't want to be with u and ur baby? If he later decides to be involved, let him make the first move. For now, just let him go.

Hang in there.

 

[scottishgal89]

he sounds like my ex. theyre empty threats and hes trying to hurt you. just ignore him.
dont text him or contact him or his family.
concentrate on you and lo. thats your priority now.
he doesnt deserve you just remember that.
as for not bein able to buy the most expensive stuff- yeah its annoying they go and spend money on a loada crap when they could help us but i bought the basic essentials when i was pregnant- my lo didnt mind, as long as she was warm and fed and got nice cuddles thats all they need hun. dont worry about that. my ex never gave me anything towards the baby stuff and i bothered at the time but now i dont care because i feel like that was a huge achievement for me. i did it alone.
it will work out. you will get money threw benefits/grants and now and again you can treat lo. they'll appreciate it way more.

sorry feel like im rambling. basically- main advice- do not contact him, no matter how much u want to. you just think you need him because your pregnant, scared and lonely. trust me you get past that stage!!!

xx

 

[WhiteGeisha]

Honey...we have so close of a situation. I'm even due just a month after you on November 11th.

My ex actually WANTED this child. We planned it. He has left me 3 times already for the same woman (who is really just an alcoholic party pal). He is the same way...happy and nice to me until we have the slightest disagreement over something and then he dumps me and runs back to her again and says if that's the way it's going to be, he wants nothing to do with the baby.

I STILL can not guarantee that I wouldn't take him back. I don't know how old you are but I'm 32 and this is my first child. I've prided myself in the last 10 years on not getting involved with losers and being picky about who I have kids with and not letting any guy treat me like sh*t, but now that I'm having a baby, his baby, it changes things...I would give anything to make us a family....because that's all I want. It's embarrassing as hell to say, but it's true.

The other girls here tell me that pregnancy is the hard part and the payoff comes when the baby is here. And this is very hard isn't it? Harder than anything I've ever gone through. I get teary eyed or sad or cry every day, knowing that my baby's father just doesn't care...and he doesn't GET it either...so frustrating and so hard to fathom.

I hope we keep in touch...our situations are so similar and our due dates are so close, we can help each other through it until our babies are here. I try to keep my mind on that prize every day and work towards that.

I'm 24 so a bit older than FOB.

I get so upset and depressed when I think about him and what he's done/doing. He told me once he doesn't have to have anything to do with me to see his child and does not need to have anything to do with me now or after the baby is born - I told him i was brought up with 2 parents hating each other and not getting on that I would not allow that for my child. I asked him how that would work for a 1st bday party? Because of his immaturity I reallt do think he thinks he can still do this hence why he has not been in touch.

I also think his mother has told him he doesn't have to have anything to do with me until the baby is here which I think is disgusting. We never really split up on bad terms - his friends just caused us a lot of problems and he couldn't find a balance between us both. I know his mother has a big part to play in his attitude!

Even though he has treated me like something he has stepped in for 5 months I am ashamed to say I would take him back in a heartbeat if it meant we could be a family. He even had the cheek to say to me when we spoke about the surname that I should give LO his surname as we never know what could happen down the line with us....ermmm does he really think I am that naive?!

x

 

[WhiteGeisha]

sorry feel like im rambling. basically- main advice- do not contact him, no matter how much u want to. you just think you need him because your pregnant, scared and lonely. trust me you get past that stage!!!

xx

I think this and want to do this and will...it just gets hard some days.

I have done so well not to have made contact with him the past 5 weeks, I didn't even reply to his sisters text x

 

[scottishgal89]

your doing fab
trust me it gets easier!!
when i feel like that i just think about all the crap he put me threw or read texts or messages from him and it makes me realise that i can do better and helps me get out of that mindframe

 

[Laura2919]

I havent been in this situation so I dont have much advice. He is not even worth the texts your sending so dont bother anymore! Dont bother contacting anyone concerning him. As for CSA, dont let him use threats. If he works for Army they can take it straight out his wages as they are all government funded! My friend had this happen to her and she still went to the CSA and they went straight to his boss and it came directly out his wages!
Ignore the plank. He clearly doest deserve your LO!

 

[cocokitten]

exactly what i was thinking, hes even more screwed working for the army theres no getting away from it, and he cant drop his hours or just quit!
so he hasnt got a clue what hes talking about.

My heart really does go out to you chick, but what a d*ck saying oh give the baby my surname as you never know i may want you for a while at some point in the future, i dont know, just be right there waiting for whenever i want!

Would you really want your gorgeous baby raised with these morals? and to ruin your chances of ever being happy with a man in future by not allowing yourself space and time to get over this idiot?

 

[WhiteGeisha]

I havent been in this situation so I dont have much advice. He is not even worth the texts your sending so dont bother anymore! Dont bother contacting anyone concerning him. As for CSA, dont let him use threats. If he works for Army they can take it straight out his wages as they are all government funded! My friend had this happen to her and she still went to the CSA and they went straight to his boss and it came directly out his wages!
Ignore the plank. He clearly doest deserve your LO!

He really treats me like I am stupid - he told me he had checked out the CSA website, obviously had his eyes closed when he did because I told him the CSA only need his name, DOB, regiment, his UK address and a phone number...all of which I know! I even know where he is living abroad so I really don't know where he thinks the CSA will go looking for him! I even told him they don't write him a polite letter asking for x amount of money - it goes straight through payroll! I think he is worried I will go through the CSA as his sargeant major comes down hard on the lads that don't take care of their responsibilities!

He even told me about a mate of his in the army that got his payslip one month to find he had been paid something like £10 - when he rang payroll they told him they had received a letter from the CSA and backdated the claim and took it all in one month!

He didn't even know what a scart lead was! So I'm pretty sure he doesn't have a clue what he is talking about! x

 

[WhiteGeisha]

exactly what i was thinking, hes even more screwed working for the army theres no getting away from it, and he cant drop his hours or just quit!
so he hasnt got a clue what hes talking about.

My heart really does go out to you chick, but what a d*ck saying oh give the baby my surname as you never know i may want you for a while at some point in the future, i dont know, just be right there waiting for whenever i want!

Would you really want your gorgeous baby raised with these morals? and to ruin your chances of ever being happy with a man in future by not allowing yourself space and time to get over this idiot?

With the fact he has absolutely no outgoings as well he will have no where to hide!! Oh and he has thousands in the bank (not that the CSA will take this into consideration) as he is saving a hefty deposit to buy a house in the UK next year.

I know, hilarious that he actually thought I might name LO with his surname in the hope one day he will want me back - obviously thinks I'm A) that desperate B) Not that desirable by other men C) Stupid.......A - HOLE!

Oh he gets his morals off of his lovely (not) friends! They all palm their kids off to grandparents Fri - Sun every week to go out drinking and he thinks that's acceptable! One of his mates even takes his LO to the house parties they throw if it falls on his weekend of having her!

He also thinks that his parents can watch LO whilst he goes out when he is back in the country! Errrr yeh right mate! I'm its mother and would rather stay in with my baby than go out so why do you think I would let you have him/her to make your parents watch LO so you can go out!

You'd think for a person who is only going to see his child 3 times a year he would want to dedicate his whole time when back to that child and not go out with is mates getting drunk!

Grrrrrrr

 

[lou_w34]

I always think being pregnant is the hardest part, your pretty much living in the unknown untill LO is born, it will be much easier when your LO gets here, then you will no what exactly is happening!

He sounds like a right tosser

xx