Fiancé left 5 days before Xmas!

[Linzi765]

Hi all,

My baby's dad left me a few days ago and I'm currently 28 weeks pregnant . We've had a pretty hard time since being pregnant with trust issues and jealousy from me. He said he felt controlled and manipulated by me because I had said I wasn't happy him going out partying while I can't and wanted him to stay in with me. I have trust issues with him because he was messaging about 5 girls via Facebook 5 months into our relationship being very flirty and talking about me , that was last years but it never really left me seeing him talk that way to other women whilst with me.
I used to check his phone from time to time until a few weeks back he changed his passcode as his family had told him he needs his privacy . Ido understand that people do but during this pregnancy I've been so insecure and just wanted him to help me get through it.

Anyway, now he has left me to do this alone, a few days before Xmas and to top it off I had flu so I'm stuck in the house !

He has changed his phone number and says he will call my mam near when the baby is due as I said his parents and siblings were busy bodies that won't be seeing me baby as they have said awful stuff about me (these people live in Ireland so won't be involved much anyway).

I tried to tell him that me and the baby are his family now and he said I was controlling him and trying to push out his family which I wasn't , I just at wanted me and our daughter to be most important which they would have been to me.

Anyone going through anything similar or any advice ! It's soo difficult right now as he didn't seem to care about the split at all more concerned about getting home to his mom for Xmas and hasn't have a thought to how I'm gunna handle this.

Lynsey x

 

[Dream.dream]

I so sorry your going through this

I had similar issues with y youngest dad and we split when I was about 28 weeks . I don't think your in the wrong for feeling insecure , his talking to others girls broke your trust and I think after that you were perfectly in your rights to want to see his phone and to expect that you an your daughter come first .

Really sounds like your better off without him. Right now distraction will be your best friend. Find a hobby , talk to your friends and focus on baby .

Most of all keep your chin up . He's the one whose going to have regrets when he misses out on things in your daughters life and your pregnancy , and you get to be there for all of it

 

[Linzi765]

Thanks dream dream. I've managed to pull myself together tonight despite being I'll and looking dead stressed. I've put on some make up and headed to meet a few old friends for a Xmas meal. Hopefully it will help being out if te house .

Yeah, I can see myself thinking it was for the best but I'm having a hard time seeing how easy it seemed to be to walk out and the total lack of emotion . He is a completely different person to who I thought he was and he has blamed that on me saying I've changed him and made him into that. I never thought he would leave , we just got engaged in May a month before we conceived and she was planned too! His siblings and parents have gave him advice to leave me as he told them lots of exaggerated crap like I beat him up! I must admit I did throw a shoe off him and some coat hangers but he totally took that too far saying he's scared if me, and his mom said she's scared for him too! Like no ones ever thrown anything in a rage before. This was because I found something written about him from his rugby club implying he likes young girls, it made me so angry as one of the girls he was messaging on Facebook was a 19 year old he had previously slept with (he's 31) . I never thought it was right.

Anyway, I'm thinking about trying to find a support group. I will be going back to swimming when I'm better too.

I'm worried about the future when he comes back demanding to see her which he said he will. He wants her as much as possible and it worries me the thought of being away from her. I have no idea what the courts will allow him but it makes me worry when he's showed no feelings towards her so far even going as far as saying ah she doesn't seem real I don't think I'd be that upset if we lost her!

L x

 

[Yo_Yo]

So sorry your going through this at Xmas time.

The trust issues you had we're alarm bells in themselves.
No way should he have been contacting other women on Facebook. Wabtibg privacy and being dishonest are two separate things too, and he shouldn't have acted the way he did.

My ex used to go out all the time when I was pregnant...even when I went into labour

I realised he was an immature jerk, and after the heartbreak you feel stronger as a person and wonder what you saw in your ex.

Stay strong lovely