Finally admiting, im not coping at all

[KayteeB]

with the feelings i have towards Kai's father. He's my first love, the only one ive slept with and i just cant let him go. He plays with my head all the time. Like he added me on blackberry messenger at 4am yesterday morning and hasnt said a word since. I started sobbing last night cause he hasnt even bothered to ask how his son is and he is now a month old! I havent told anyone how i feel cause no one listens, they just tell me he's a waste of space and to forget him. But i cant, i just cant. He's going away to university on the 23rd and he wont ever meet baby and that kills me.
We were never officially together but seeing eachother casually for three years. Ive never known if he has feelings or even had feelings for me, or wether we was just sex to him. I dont know how to cope with this pain, its killing me inside.

 

[Lettuce]

I don't have any advice, except to say you're not alone! Many girls find it difficult to get over their first/only love! It must be much harder when you have a child with them.
You can't help how you feel, so accept that first of all, but he sounds like a total jerk (sorry!) why hasn't he been to see his child? He could at least ask you how he is. Do his parents know what a shirker he is being?
Maybe every time you feel like you are missing him, remind yourself he is not worthy of your affections.
There will be someone worthwhile for you, hang on in there. Xxx

 

[Mrs IKW]

Sending

 

[KayteeB]

his parents dont know hun ive done everything i can to keep him protected so that he wont hate me and that includes not telling anyone hes the dad including his parents. I just feel so down and depressed all the time.

 

[georgebaby1]

I just wanted yo say u sound like a rely strong women and you will be ok x

 

[Lettuce]

Ohhhh, you poor poor soul! I have a friend that did this. Look, I don't know your story, but I just want to say, I don't think he deserves your silence! My friends situation ended up being that he and his family won't acknowledge the girls (twins). But she kept quiet to protect him and he treated her horribly.
Do you know his parents? I think a lot of people would be upset to know they had a grandchild they didn't know! and I'm not trying to make things difficult but my friend now has to try and explain to her daughters now about it all. is he doing anything to support his child? You've done so well and you should be so proud of yourself! Xxx

 

[KayteeB]

he doesnt send any money or anything. i just wish i could get over these feelings i have for him so i can give him what deserves and tell his parents he's the dad.

 

[Lettuce]

I hope you can too! but I really think you need to speak to him. I think he's stuck his head in the sand somewhat! He's not thought ahead and I bet he's hoping it'll all just go away if he ignores it! I guess he is young? (cos you said h was off to uni) but that's no excuse! Plenty of other young dads step up and do a great job.
As for getting over him, you will! It'll take time, but maybe every time you start to think of him, remember how unfair he is being. And then distract yourself with positive thoughts. Is there someone you are close to that could support you at a difficult time? Xx

 

[KayteeB]

what annoys me the most is a told a close friend of mine of how upset and annoyed i was at the fact he hasnt asked about his son once and her reply was
"he is young though" like that makes any difference?! ive had so many of my male friends who are 16-18 tell me how disgusting it is that he hasnt even asked about him

 

[Lettuce]

It makes no difference! btw, the guy that did that to my friend, they were both in their 30's! So men can be jerks at any age!
Do your parents not wonder who he is? I just feel you should have to carry the can on this- it takes two to make a baby! Xxx

 

[Babushka99]

I think I agree with your friends and family that he is worthless. But love is blind like they say and a million people might tell you but you have to see it yourself. I think his parents should know that the baby is his they might make him buck up his ideas a bit and be a proper father. He will bring you down playing with your emotions like this and you don't need that, No-one deserves that. You deserve respect as the mother of his child not this treatment.

 

[SackBoy]

It must be tough, but if you know his parents I would tell them. They have a right to know. Plus your LO deserves to know his fathers family, if his father isn't interested that is his loss but I bet his parents would want to know if they had a grandchild.

I do not agree that being young is an excuse for his behaviour. He has asked you to keep it a secret because he doesn't want to face up to his responsibilities.

 

[emme]

Have you tried telling him how you feel Hun? I take it he's said he wants nothing to do with Kai? It seems a shame for the grandparents to miss out on Kai and vice versa just because the dad us being an idiot, it's always hard to get over your first love and it's always harder when the feelings aren't mutual which most of the time is why you get so hung up in the first place wanting something you can't have. You need to try focus on you and Kai, cause you're all that matters, pm me if you need to talk Hun, hugs xx

 

[midori1999]

This must be very hard for you.

You need to think about your son and he comes first now, not his waste of space father and Kai deserves to know who his Dad is and he also deserves to know his paternal Grandparents, extended family etc. Despite your feelings for this man, I am really sorry, but it doesn't seem like he cares for you at all. He has treated you dreadfully and you don't deserve it. He should be paying to support his son and if he did, think of all the extra things your son could have.