Finally discussed my birth plan...

[Mom2mmcjg]

Definitely check out that birthing center. Who cares if your doc isn't going to be able to deliver you there. He honestly doesn't seem like the world's best doc.

You don't want to be stuck in a situation where you are always on the defensive and having procedures done that you don't want. There's no reason you should have to be on continuous fetal monitoring, and no reason for an IV unless you are group B strep positive. Nurses and hospital officials will bully you into the bed and into getting procedures. They will threaten you with a call to CPS if you don't cooperate, who wants to deal with that?

 

[mamawananotha]

Sorry you're having to deal with the stresses of hospital rules at this stage of your pregnancy. As for the 'hospital procedures', someone else recommended signing something for the things you want to decline. If you end up being stuck at that hospital with your OB, ask for whatever legal waiver you need to refuse the things they are trying to make you comply with.

You should be able to at least stay within the confines of your room (not strictly on the bed) and give birth in any reasonable position (meaning not just on your back with your feet up in stirrups).

As for the IV, you should be able to sign a waiver for that, but if not, you could at least request a hep-lock or whatever it is called that creates a port, but to where you are not connected to a bag directly so that you can move around.

Good luck!

 

[MeanKitty23]

Someone had mentioned not signing over anything stating I won't sue in the event that something actually does go wrong and they are truly at fault. That makes sense.

The hep-lock, I want that.

I'm getting out of that bed whether I sign something or not. I'm no longer in the mood to entertain other people for my big event. The whole thing really just ruins me trying to find enjoying in pregnancy.

 

[Jezzielin]

I am worried that is what they will tell me, that I cannot get out of bed. But I would anyway. If I am planning a natural birth - you best believe I will walk around if it feels better.

I can kinda understand the food thing. I plan on bringing some snacks but I think they worry if labor doesn't progress, you might need a C-section which might lead to sedation, etc. You risk aspirating (throwing up and breathing it in your lungs which can cause pneumonia).

I already told my husband though, we are stopping at my fav fast food restaurant on the way because I know once I get there - I can't have anything to eat or drink!

 

[MeanKitty23]

I am worried that is what they will tell me, that I cannot get out of bed. But I would anyway. If I am planning a natural birth - you best believe I will walk around if it feels better.

I can kinda understand the food thing. I plan on bringing some snacks but I think they worry if labor doesn't progress, you might need a C-section which might lead to sedation, etc. You risk aspirating (throwing up and breathing it in your lungs which can cause pneumonia).

I already told my husband though, we are stopping at my fav fast food restaurant on the way because I know once I get there - I can't have anything to eat or drink!

Yeah I figured that's why they wouldn't want people to eat during labor n all. I could be wrong, but I doubt I'll need the c-section option unless baby just decides to get too big or something. She's been head down a lot lately and I haven't had any complications.

MAN.... I laid on my back tonight to look at things down below. I had a couple pillows behind my back to prop me up and my back locked up. Um.... Not no, but hell no. I can't deliver a baby in that position - I'll die!

 

[kleinfor3]

Hi! I live in Florence, Al. About an hour west of huntsville. I actually just changed ob's so we can deliver and have a more natural experience at the new brookwood womens hospital in b'ham. I can totally relate to your concerns. It was a big decision to change ob's and hospitals. We will be driving 2 hours to give birth. In my mind it will be worth it though. They have birthing tubs there and the doctor I choose is a fan of natural if that's the way you want to go. Obgyn south is the clinic. They also have an office in alabaster. Nit sure where alabaster is though lol! Anyways, I would keep looking for an ob and better hospital. Good luck! We drive thru Dothan on the way to vaca each year!

 

[Lozdi]

I would rather go unassisted, and I mean that in all seriousness.

Same here. I am planning a home birth with this one but if I was planning a hospital birth and was told I'd be stuck in a bed the whole time monitored I would flip my lid, literally. Sue happy pffffff....I would sue for breach of my rights as a mother to give birth in a position that suits me!

The US maternity care system really really really really makes me mad, I am so glad I live in the UK where OUR preferences matter! Oooooooh I'm so angry now, I want to come over there and punch your doctor! Twice!

 

[Adela Quested]

... you aren't technically allowed to eat or drink once in labor at most hospitals either, but they can't rip the food out of your hands. It's supposedly in case there is an 'emergency' and they need to put you under general anesthesia. But the chances of that are so rare!

And even if they do need to put you under general, there is only a small risk of you aspirating vomit or something like that. In other words it is a small risk of needing a general and then an even small risk of aspiration.

I gave birth here in the Netherlands where you are encouraged to eat and drink if you want to, to keep your strength up (you wouldn't try to run a marathon without drinking, right?) I don't think I was hungry at all but I certainly remember drinking plenty of water - your mouth gets dry with all that panting, too. Unfortunately I had a haemorrhage right after giving birth and had to have a general anaesthetic. Luckily I survived both!

It's good to avoid eating when you KNOW you're going to have a general anaesthetic (like for an arm operation or something like that), but avoiding eating/drinking during one of the most physically and mentally demanding experiences of your life is just asking for trouble. Then you get weak and end up needing interventions because you just have no energy left, is what I reckon!

Not to be blase, of course aspirating vomit is a serious issue if it happens, but I suspect that preventing women from eating and drinking actually causes more problems than it avoids.

 

[MeanKitty23]

... you aren't technically allowed to eat or drink once in labor at most hospitals either, but they can't rip the food out of your hands. It's supposedly in case there is an 'emergency' and they need to put you under general anesthesia. But the chances of that are so rare!

And even if they do need to put you under general, there is only a small risk of you aspirating vomit or something like that. In other words it is a small risk of needing a general and then an even small risk of aspiration.

I gave birth here in the Netherlands where you are encouraged to eat and drink if you want to, to keep your strength up (you wouldn't try to run a marathon without drinking, right?) I don't think I was hungry at all but I certainly remember drinking plenty of water - your mouth gets dry with all that panting, too. Unfortunately I had a haemorrhage right after giving birth and had to have a general anaesthetic. Luckily I survived both!

It's good to avoid eating when you KNOW you're going to have a general anaesthetic (like for an arm operation or something like that), but avoiding eating/drinking during one of the most physically and mentally demanding experiences of your life is just asking for trouble. Then you get weak and end up needing interventions because you just have no energy left, is what I reckon!

Not to be blase, of course aspirating vomit is a serious issue if it happens, but I suspect that preventing women from eating and drinking actually causes more problems than it avoids.

Good point. I'm totally gonna have food and water nearby or God help whoever is in my path............ I think people are too afraid to change what doctor's want done anymore. Which is sad.

 

[MindUtopia]

Also, I was told to eat as soon as you think you are starting early labor and keep up regular food and fluids, even if it's not a lot, in the early stages - particularly since it seems like you'll want to stay at home in the beginning for a while. Oatmeal with milk and sugar/honey came highly recommended. Or a sandwich or granola bars. Something easy to prepare, but with lots of complex carbs. That way even if they make it harder for you to eat at the hospital, you'll come in having had some food.

 

[Wispyshadow]

I wanted to have a natural birth. As natural as I can handle anyway.... My hospital won't allow me to even get out of the bed once I'm admitted! This doesn't even matter if I have an epidural or not. I'm not allowed to walk around to help with the labor, I can't use the shower for the warm water comfort, I have to deliver in the bed and my doctor literally admitted that it was all because people are "sue happy". They're gonna have me on constant fetal monitoring and that's because if something goes wrong, then it can't be blamed on them for not monitoring the baby the whole time. How sad is that?

I told my doctor "Okay, so... once I'm admitted, I'm gonna be stuck in the bed until I deliver, correct?" and he said yes. I asked if I'd be allowed to at least choose my birthing position and he highly suggested I deliver in stirrups, at an inclined position because that's probably going to be most comfortable for me. I said, "Well, what if it's not and I wanna move?" and he said "As long as you stay in the bed, you can do what you feel, but it's going to be difficult to change positions in the bed."

I'm not feeling good about this AT ALL. We have no midwives in this area, so there's no one to come to the house to help me just birth at home.

I just told the doctor "I'll probably just stay home for quite a while unless I just have a ridiculous amount of pain. I don't wanna wait too long and then BAM, there's a baby coming out of me at home, but I don't want to be stuck in a bed at the hospital either." His only response was "I'm sure you'll wanna be at the hospital before you get to the point of delivery."

I feel.... not-so-special.

I looked online and there are quite a few midwives in the Dothan, AL area. I found several in Dothan on this site:
https://www.healthgrades.com/provid...OfficesAndHospitalsPracticesAndOffices_anchor
try looking there and there is also the AL Midwives Alliance (ALMA) I think that is what I read. If there are issues with homebirths then I would look into traveling to The Farm in TN. Look at The Farm's website they are pretty amazing. They are all very kind and very talented and skilled at what they do. I will see if I can find the other midwife search engine and send you the link. There is no reason to be strapped to a bed. I stood and squatted next to the bed while on the monitor. They can still monitor you even out of the bed. You can also refuse to be constantly monitored but you may get treated poorly for being "difficult". I would either find another hospital, or find a birth center or a home birthing midwife.

 

[Jendra]

Your OB sounds like an asshat. And a hospital may have policies, but I think they're off their rocker with the no food & drink bit. They're not the movie theatre. They can't deny you outside snacks. I know it's 'cause they want you able to have surgery, but that just gives you an idea what their angle is.

If a doula or midwife is off the table, how about a pushy mother? Sister? Aunt? How vocal is your husband? They can't strap you to a bed against your will, so when you dismiss the IV and all the other hooplah you aren't interested in, if you have allies on your side armed with your wishes, maybe they can take the pressure off you and tell the staff there to back off if they give you too much hassle.

 

[MeanKitty23]

Oh how about I found midwives today, but I'm on my husband's insurance and the state will pick up the rest of the bill because we really can't afford the 20% remainder. Get this though.... I don't qualify to have a midwife here under the state's coverage unless the state COMPLETELY covers the cost. Otherwise, my insurance would cover, but then I'd have to pay the rest of the bills anyway - which is why I got the state coverage. .... How much sense does that make? I have insurance that will save the state money and I can't have a midwife unless I pay something out of pocket even though I qualified for the help. .......

I did manage to switch hospitals though. Southeast Alabama Medical Center will let me labor in water (BIG plus for me) and they'll let me eat, drink and walk about as I please as long as I'm in good health, as well as the baby. I'm ecstatic about that part.

It was a hassle all day today trying to find someone to see me though. I was going to see the midwife and literally while I'm undressed, waiting for the midwife to come see me in the office, the woman handling the financial stuff comes in and says she just realized I had insurance that's picked up the pregnancy bills and that Medicaid is only covering part the cost so I'll need to switch to an actual doctor if I want everything covered by both! .... I had to get dressed and LEAVE, go to an office, fill out more paperwork to switch records n all, got sent home, got called on the way home to come BACK and see the doctor on-call .... I would've told everyone to go to hell today but realistically, if I wanna deliver at the hospital of my choice... I needed to see a doctor at least.

I was up from 8:30 AM till 5 PM running around just trying to switch all my crap today - with BH going on along with that! *throws hands up*

Anyway.... It's handled. I have things setup now - thankfully. Just disappointed about that midwife thing.

 

[MeanKitty23]

Your OB sounds like an asshat. And a hospital may have policies, but I think they're off their rocker with the no food & drink bit. They're not the movie theatre. They can't deny you outside snacks. I know it's 'cause they want you able to have surgery, but that just gives you an idea what their angle is.

If a doula or midwife is off the table, how about a pushy mother? Sister? Aunt? How vocal is your husband? They can't strap you to a bed against your will, so when you dismiss the IV and all the other hooplah you aren't interested in, if you have allies on your side armed with your wishes, maybe they can take the pressure off you and tell the staff there to back off if they give you too much hassle.

An "asshat" ....

No sister, no other family nearby - they're 5 hours away. All I have is my MIL and she's gonna be watching our 6 month old - My adoptive son, husband's biological son. The ONLY person I have that can defend me if things go south is my husband. .... I've seen him get ridiculously angry over, believe it or not, the cable company. And that's really about it. And that was because a guy gave us the run around and didn't install cable and internet the day we had scheduled it to be setup. So hubby came home, found out and blew his lid.

I've been with him a year now, married for 4 months, and that's the only other time I've seen him really angry/"pushy" about something. Well, also when his mother has attempted to tell him how irresponsible and hateful he is (she deserved to get chewed out for that... they have a horrible relationship actually). And of course he and I have butted heads a handful of times - and he has the ability to get mean if he wants - I don't tolerate the attitude at all whatsoever.

As far as this particular situation, I have no earthly idea how he would handle things if I get upset and need someone to speak up for me. I'll kinda have to play that by ear. If worse ever came to worse, I'll speak up for myself though. After getting support from this website, and getting angrier with my experiences with prenatal care - I've had enough. I really have.

 

[MindUtopia]

That sounds wonderful. Even if you have to be 'officially' under a doctor's care, better to be under a doctor's care in a hospital that will let you birth how you want. It doesn't necessarily matter too much who catches the baby (though I'm sure a midwife would be better!) but I'm sure it will make a huge difference to you to be active, eat and drink what you want, and have the water birth you want. That place sounds awesome. I'm sure all the hassle will be worth it when the time comes. And hopefully it will be soon!

 

[PepsiChic]

I had a natural hospital birth with an OBGYN that i saw throughout the pregnancy and she delivered the baby, she actually recommended i stay at home till the contractions were 3-2 minutes apart.

About a month before the baby was due we wrote a birth plan and made a few copis gave one to her and took one to to hospital which they stuck up on the board in our room.

No medication was the first rule...no Epi, no IV not even a tylenol!
second rule was I could get up and go as I wished until time to push
Third rule was Id have the baby in any position I felt comfortable even if it ment doing a handstand!

each nurse that came on shift was directed to read my birh plan by me or the obgyn or previous nurse and they were happy to go with it.

we of course had a emergency back up plan which was - "gas me out and save the baby - no needles"

we left the house when contractions were 3 minutea apart it was an hour drive to the hospital, by the time we got there i was almost fully dilated so didnt do much walka round just standing and groaning leaning over the bed, they did a quick monitor and then let me right back up again. 2 hours later baby was born, I left and went home 24 hours later.

my advice is - make a birth plan, make sure everyone whos ees you knows it! have an emergency back up plan.

Have someone with you that can stand up for you and speak on your behalf, if your in transition and they are trying to push an epi on you, and you know deep down you dont want it...have that support person be there to say that for you! 2 voices are stronger then 1!

Remember they are doctors, they are their to help not be evil...but they try to do things by the book, stay firm in your choices and always refer them back to the birth plan if they try to make "suggestions"