Financial Support

[jenniand]

Hi Ladies
After my partner...or Ex...finishing our 7 year relationship only 2weeks ago when our baby is 8 months old I have been trying to sort out my finances so we ( LO and I) can continue to live in my flat that I own. I have sent off forms for working and child tax credits and waiting to hear what I am entitled to but my ex is also saying we need to work out what he should be contributing to his son's upbringing. I have no idea where to start on working that out as while we are being civil neither of us want to go through CSA etc. I did use the maintenance calculator on line which suggests he pays £50 a week. This is only £2600 a year which I am a little put out by to be honest, I know there are mums out there that don't get anything from dad and I don't want to sound greedy but I can't believe that he doesn't have any responsibilty of looking after his baby and he can do what he wants, when he wants without having to answer to anyone but on top of that it is suggested that £50 a week is what it costs him to ensure his child has a roof over his head, food to eat and clothes to wear?!! I might be totally over-reacting to this because I had no idea this break up was coming so things are still raw and I'm really hurting but I am so worried about our financial security...any advice/help/suggestions please...I am deapairing

 

[Mummy1995]

Hello! You're not being greedy.. We all know how much children cost! although it is based on his income as to what he can afford so I guess it depends what other things he does.. Have you asked him how much he'd be willing to pay? Maybe it will be more than the £50 a week I would start there and see how you go. It could be that he could give you the £50 a week but also offer to take it in turns to buy nappies/wipes etc when you need them if he doesn't want to sort it through csa and is willing to pay then I would be hopeful that he'd be happy to come to an agreement that you are happy with. X

 

[KayBea]

i would also ask him how much he is willing/can afford to pay. like pp said he may be willing to pay more towards LO or buy things for him..

 

[babycrazy1706]

I'd be absolutely over the moon to get £50 a week. I'm lucky if I get £50 a month and even then I feel greedy for asking for it (very silly I know) but that's the way ex enpowers me and makes me feel. I also feel like I have to justify what I will spend the money on.
Anyhow back to you.... I don't think you are greedy, I felt resentful of ex being able to eff off and do what ever the hell he wants and I think you should get as much as you can from him to ease the burden. Best wishes hun. Xx

 

[daneuse27]

I'd be ecstatic to get that amount too. My FOB currently only pays $80/month ($5 to go into her savings account) and the rest is for me to spend on raising her. Not nearly enough, I know. Like babycrazy's ex, he also makes me feel like I'm greedy when I suggest he pays more.

The older she gets, the more I plan to up the amount. They get more expesive as they get older, outgrow old clothes, need new age-appropriate toys, not to mention consume more and have more needs, such as activities, child care, the list goes on!

50 quid per week doesn't seem like enough to me either, I think you should be getting double that or more. I hope that your ex agrees to an amount that you both think is fair. Remember that the age of your child and their needs factors into it as well.

 

[Dream.dream]

50 a week would be about right . I actually when you covert it to Canadian dollars get less then that . My base amount is 250$a month so about 152 pounds for you guys . If the child has daycare here or prescription costs then his dad has to pay for half of it .

 

[PrincessJJ]

I get £2.50 a week Hun..... And he's forced to pay that. I'd be more than happy with £50 a week xx

 

[babycrazy1706]

^^^ that's very dissapointing
but still..... better than nothing i guess. Xx

 

[Mummy1995]

I'm still waiting for a penny..

 

[teal]

I get £2.50 a week Hun..... And he's forced to pay that. I'd be more than happy with £50 a week xx

I don't claim anything from FOB but £2.50 a week is absolutely shocking