finding it hard to cope help please

[dawnmichelle]

hello iam needing some help with my 8 year old daughter, she is in special needs at school and always have had some problems the teachers say she has alot of problems and they say shes got to mind of a much younger child, she has trouble with communicating and understanding and has hit, pinched and annoyed kids in her class and me and her other friends, she doesnt like sharing and doesnt like other kids touching or moving her things.
she has a teddy rabbit she is obsessed with it she takes it where she goes and if any one moves or touches it she goes mad and shouts at them,she also holds a blanket and sucks her thumb.

she will get kind of obsessed with one thing like a toy or doing something for a few hours or days shes keep on and on about it and even shout at me and get angry if i tell her to stop goin gon about it and then eventually it wil fizzle out and she'll forget about it.
I have a hard time if she has a wobbly tooth she crys, screams and get angry trying to hit me or my mum and dad, iv been so upset and down iv felt like i cant cope i have an 8 week old baby boy and iam a single mum.

she wont let me move her teddys off her bed to change the sheets they have to stay the same if i move them. some times she gets annoyed if i tel her to get dressed and she doesnt want to do it herself all the time.

is this all bad behaviour and is it my fault because iam a single mum, they just tell me to go to parenting classes because they say its my fault

 

[mom22boys]

I am so sorry! Its not your fault! Sounds like you are just something for them to blame it on and is easier saying its your problem, than for them just to admit that they do not know what to do. I have lots of issues with my son's school. Our problem is the opposite, he is easy going and gets shoved in the back ground or in front of a tv.

Since you do not live in the US I do not know how things work over where you live. Somethings you could do are:
ask for a aid for the child
ask how they deal with her when she does the pinching, gets mad ect how do they respond to it? Is she put in time out ect.
Ask for a meeting to discuss the issues but take a advocate with you NEVER go to the school by yourself!!!
Take a tape recorder and record the meeting! Sounds like they just do not want to put out the effort to make the situation better.
Maybe she needs breaks during the day away from the other kids maybe she is overstimulated with the classroom and just needs some time to herself.

Since she has trouble communicating the hitting and stuff may just be her way of saying your too close to me get away!

Does she get therapy?
I could go on and on but I will stop for now.
My son has Down Syndrome and I have had my fair share of school meetings! One time they told me they would not do therapy on my child anymore cause they were afraid that he was going to have a heart attack and die (he is overweight) and that I was killing him! I left the room in tears! I will NEVER go without a advocate to a school meeting again! Not just my husband I get a child advocate who know the rules and regulations. Good luck. I hope you find someone on here where you live that can help you more. If you have any questions just ask! I hope I have been some help!

 

[Newt]

It's most definatly not your fault, thats a dreadful thing to say to any parent

 

[BabyBumm]

NOT your fault!!!

My son is 8 nearly 9 and all his life I have known he was "different", but whenever I have asked a health professional about it I was sent on a parenting course, I've done so many it's unbelievable! Social services, parent support advisors, early intervention teams...
I know now that it's not me, it's not my parenting, cos finally he is being assessed! (And my 2 girls are "normal" so if it was my parenting then they'd be out of control too!)

The only thing I can suggest is that some parenting courses do give you strategies to help cope with behaviour, the best course is the Triple P, I did it a couple of years back and although it made hardly any difference to my sons behaviour, it helped me and gave me the confidence to cope. And above all, you get to meet other parents that are going through the same.
The Triple P (or positive parenting) comes from Australia and there are several levels of the course (primary, teenagers and a higher level for children with special needs)
It may be worth asking about, just to give yourself some confidence and strength in your own abilities as a mum.

Doing it all by yourself is hard, I know, but never ever think it's your fault.