Finding out that DH is the issue? how do you get over this

[Myshelsong]

For over 4 years we were considered the dreaded Unexplained Infertility. However we just found out that although the numbers are somewhat normal (low normal but usable) his Swimmers are the issue. Bad DNA, Like really bad.

I am having a really hard time not being mad at him. Not because of his swimmers, but because of his attitude in our journey. Yes he has been supportive, but No he hasn't really at the same time. He refused to take vitamins for more than one week at a time, he didn't want to go to the DRs when we needed to, he rolled his eyes anytime he had to give blood or do a test, and the kicker .... he told his parents that his swimmers were perfect and he wasn't the problem. This was right at the beginning of the journey even before we discussed what we were comfortable with.

How do I move on past this pain and anger?

 

[Hope3]

Honest answer, I have no idea. Maybe you just have to experience and acknowledge the pain and express the anger before you can move past it.

I think male pride prevents our partners taking these issues seriously. Maybe they feel it degrades their manhood to indirectly admit the problem might be theirs. I had a lot of frustration with my partner not taking vitamins and drinking too much. With my old eggs his sperm needs to be super healthy and work harder but he doesn't seem to get that.

You need time to process this news. This isn't his fault. Biology can be unfair as we know all too well.

Best of luck. x

 

[Myshelsong]

We finally had a good old fashioned talk, cry, scream. Not necessarily in that order.
I think the worst thing we can do is just let things fester, now that we have expressed our feelings we are feeling much much better.

 

[Lues]

Kudos to you for facing it head on!!!

Fertility problems are so hard in a relationship. And holding things in makes it WAY harder, and like you said, it just festers.

Anger is okay. Anger is healthy. Anger is real.

Denial.... that's a line you can never go back and erase.

So I say yay for you!!